Lost and Found: The Adoption Experience [Paperback]

Betty Jean Lifton PhD (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 6, 2009

"[Looks] at adoption from all sides of the triangle: adoptee, birth mother, adoptive parents . . . A provocative, comprehensive inquiry."
---Kirkus Reviews

"Honest and moving."
---New York Times

"Important and powerful . . . [the author] is concerned not just with adoptees but with the experience of adoptive parents and birth parents."
---Psychology Today

"A moving and powerful plea for open discourse instead of secrecy among the participants in the adoption process."
---Public Welfare, American Public Welfare Association

The first edition of Betty Jean Lifton's Lost and Found advanced the adoption rights movement in this country in 1979, challenging many states' policies of maintaining closed birth records. For nearly three decades the book has topped recommended reading lists for those who seek to understand the effects of adoption---including adoptees, adoptive parents, birth parents, and their friends and families.

This expanded and updated edition, with new material on the controversies concerning adoption, artificial insemination, and newer reproductive technologies, continues to add to the discussion on this important topic. A new preface and afterword by the author have been added, as well as a greatly expanded resources section that in addition to relevant organizations now lists useful Web sites.

Betty Jean Lifton, Ph.D., is a writer, psychotherapist, and leading advocate for adoption reform. Her many books include Journey of the Adopted Self and The King of Children, a New York Times Notable Book. She regularly makes appearances as a lecturer on adoption and has an adoption counseling practice in Cambridge, Massachusetts, and New York City.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Important and powerful...[the author] is concerned not just with adoptees but with the experience of adoptive parents and birth parents." -- --Psychology Today --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

About the Author

Author and playwright Betty Jean Lifton is a leading advocate for adoption reform and an adoption counselor. Her books include Twice Born: Memoirs of an Adopted Daughter, the novel I'm Still Me, and, most recently, The King of Children: A Biography of Janusz Korczak. She lives with her husband, the author and psychiatrist Robert Jay Lifton, in New York City. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Product Details

• Paperback: 344 pages
• Publisher: University of Michigan Press; 3rd Edition, Expanded and Updated edition (January 6, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 047203328X
• ISBN-13: 978-0472033287
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.5 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 15.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (14 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #355,461 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

30 of 30 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A must-read for adoptees who are searching/reunited, June 23, 1999

By 

Cheryl ([e-mail]) (Tucson AZ) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Lost & Found: The Adoption Experience (Paperback)

Most Triadians (adoptees, birth parents, adoptive parents) know that BJ Lifton is one of the definitive voices on adoption issues, and this book is one of my personal favorites of hers. If you buy no other search/reunion book, this is the one to have IMO.

I began my search for my birthmother in 1986, locating her finally in 1997. "Lost and Found" in particular helped me to deal with a lot of the issues that come up while searching, AND once you are reunited. There are even chapters on birthfathers and on siblings, something most books fail to mention or deal with.

It is important for those who decide to search to carefully consider their reasons for searching, and also to think about what their expectations are. If you are not prepared for the possibility of "anything can happen", you may be highly dissapointed or even devasted by the results.

I am glad that I chose to search, it has made my life complete in a way that wouldn't have been possible before I had the answers to my questions about where I came from, and who "my people" were. Though my reunion has had some major ups and downs, I don't regret my decision and I thank BJ Lifton for her insights that helped me get through the entire process.

~Reunited adoptee and adoptee rights activist Still ISO birthfather

15 of 15 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A straight forward book on adoption., July 5, 1998

By A Customer

This review is from: Lost & Found: The Adoption Experience (Paperback)

As an adoptee, there are many questions and emotions that one is often too scared to ask or express. Lifton goes beyond the "taboo" of adoption in this book not only with her own experiences, but also the experiences of others. In "Lost and Found", all aspects of adoption are discussed, from all views (adoptee, adoptive parent, birthparent). Reading this helped me understand my own feelings, and to better understand the feelings of my parents, and my birth mother.

27 of 30 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars If you read only one...this is it., October 11, 2000

By 

C. Wing "A 'real' rabbit" (MA, USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Lost & Found: The Adoption Experience (Paperback)

In my life, reunion wasn't reality until my life was my own-so I went about it with some organizational ability. Information and what to do with it was what I wanted and this gave me great help in that direction. Those triad members who believe their status hasn't affected their lives, just haven't figured it out yet. My adoption 50 years ago has colored every relationship since that first one that ended (physically) 3 weeks after my birth. In order to put together the pieces of 'why' I am....important parts needed to be found, so I set about looking. BJ Lifton helped with a compassion I hadn't found before her book. There are many emotions connected with searching-and finding-no matter how pleasant or how ugly-and one Can't anticipate many of them without some help. Help is within the pages of this one. The one piece of information-above all else-she taught me, was that my search was mine. I owned it and could choose to do it, or not, at my level of comfort. After reunion, boundaries need to be built, in order to protect that comfort. The book helped me start that so when the time came, I could hold back until I knew just how far I could go-how far I could allow the others to come. All in all, it was like having a big sister, walk through it with me. She's a good friend-even if she's not aware I'm out here! Thank you BJ!