Lost & Found Lovers: Facts and Fantasies of Rekindled Romances [Paperback]

Nancy Kalish PhD (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: April 20, 2005

Ever wonder what might happen if you rediscovered that “special someone” who captured your heart years ago? The 1,001 people who participated in Dr. Nancy Kalish’'s landmark study of lost love reunions did exactly that. Here for the first time are the full, fascinating results of her research, along with the intensely romantic stories of the couples, printed in the lover's’ own words. Dr. Kalish'’s renowned lost love research has garnered international media attention. She shows why rekindled romance has captured our imaginations and reveals factors to consider when thinking about a reunion. Many of her findings will surprise you!

Editorial Reviews

From Booklist

A few months after reestablishing contact with her college boyfriend, psychologist Kalish became curious about the incidences and various types of rekindled romances and decided to conduct a study of persons (lost and found lovers) involved in those types of relationships. Her project got off to a rocky start; initially, Kalish had trouble finding respondents to her survey on this somewhat touchy subject. However, her unusual study was soon picked up by the national media, resulting in appearances on 20/20, and Oprah, and special features on CNN and NPR. The national exposure resulted in more than 1,000 respondents to her study, and in this book Kalish shares the results of her research, explaining how and why rekindled romances work and also why they may not work out. Additionally, excerpts from the surveys are provided, painful stories of lost love and stifled emotions and joyous tales of loving reunions. Kathleen Hughes --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Kirkus Reviews

Dreams of what might have been come true in this fustian report on a research project inspired by The Bridges of Madison County. Kalish (Psychology/Calif. State Univ., Sacramento) rekindled a college romance of her own as she mused about what might have been if Robert James Waller's romantic duo had been reunited. Kalish's reignited love affair fizzled out, but her research project on former lovers who sought each other out years after a romance ended caught fire. The trickle of once-lost lovers responding to her ads and media notices changed to an outpouring when she appeared on Leeza, a national TV talk show. Ultimately, more than 1,000 questionnaires, often with lengthy stories of loss and reconnection, were returned to Kalish. The raw numbers, included with the copy of the questionnaire as an appendix to the book, give a quick look at who the respondents were: They came from all 50 states, and from countries ranging from Argentina to Venezuela. The youngest respondent was 12 years old (looking for a lost love she met when she was 9); the oldest was 87. Kalish offers stories of real (and fictional) couples who reunited even after years of happy marriages to others and found together, very quickly, a spiritual and sexual compatibility that most had only dreamed of. On the darker side, abandoned spouses (and children who lose a parent) are seen to have suffered from confusion, pain, and guilt. There is the stuff of tragedy, comedy, and soap opera in these stories, but the drama is lost in the banal, cheerleading commentary. The book wraps up with a listing of pop songs that celebrate love the second time around, including Sinatra's rendering of that refrain. Skip the study and listen to Ol' Blue Eyes; he's more trenchant on the subject. (Author tour) -- Copyright ©1996, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 242 pages
• Publisher: Backinprint.com (April 20, 2005)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0595348556
• ISBN-13: 978-0595348558
• Product Dimensions: 9 x 6 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 15.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (28 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #695,008 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Nancy Kalish, Ph.D. is a psychology professor and researcher at California State University, Sacramento, and is the author of Lost & Found Lovers and The Lost Love Chronicles. She has been doing survey research for 16 years on couples who have tried to rekindle their long-lost romances. She is the international expert on rekindled romances, lost loves, and first love, and has appeared on Oprah, 20/20, NPR, CNN, the BBC, and Montel, to name a few. Her research has been discussed twice in Dear Abby, and also in Cosmopolitan, The Chicago Tribune, Parade, Playboy, and The New York Times, among hundreds of other media stories. Her popular web site is www.lostlovers.com.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

39 of 40 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Read this book before you wind up living the movie, December 5, 2003

By A Customer

This review is from: Lost & Found Lovers: Facts and Fantasies of Rekindled Romances (Hardcover)

Unlike what some may think, this book doesn't advise people to break up their marriages. It is a study of what happens when lost lovers reunite, as is happening more and more with the opportunities the Internet provides.

As a warning, Dr Kalish writes that "It is naive and unrealistic to believe ... that former romantic feelings ... can be controlled by love or loyalty to a spouse." She even warns that "a Lost Lover in a marriage that he or she values should think twice before 'doing lunch.'"

This book helped me understand what was happening in my life after I tracked down my first love. It made sense out of what I was feeling and why, after 27 years, she is the most important person in my life. It also helped me understand why I'd felt so isolated for those 27 years.

This book is a must-read for anyone considering getting back together with a former love. Before you agree to meet - before you even go looking for them on the Internet - read this book. It could save you a lot of grief. Or at least prepare you for it. If you're on the fence on whether to buy the book, visit the LostLovers website run by Dr Kalish and read the stories there in the forums. Some will break your heart, others will fill you with joy. All will educate you. Then you'll know why you need to buy this book.

24 of 25 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This stuff is no joke, June 20, 2006

By 

Eric Thornton (KDTW) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Lost & Found Lovers: Facts and Fantasies of Rekindled Romances (Paperback)

I bought this book after my first love from high school found me on classmates.com. This book helped me to put things in perspective and to deal with powerful emotions I haven't felt since then. If you're not in a position to consumate an old love, please don't look for him or her.

We found each other again, but we were not in a position to do much about it. So in the end we're both torn, longing and full of heartache. Who wants to live like that?

24 of 25 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars heartbroken because of a reunion, September 27, 2005

By 

Scarred by lost love (Seattle WA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Lost & Found Lovers: Facts and Fantasies of Rekindled Romances (Paperback)

I have never written a review before, on any site, but the last reviewer got me mad.

My wife of 36 years took off with her lost love almost a year ago. I was waiting for the fantasy of him to wear off and then she'd return. It wasn't happening. Then I came across Lost and Found Lovers. It taught me about what was going on, as hard as that was for me to hear -- My wife is not coming back. And I also learned that it wasn't my fault, not any failing in me as a husband. This information is helping me move forward.

Sweet stories may be fun to read, but we are dealing with nonfiction here! Real people's lives! I needed reality, and the doc's book gave it to me. She reported what she found, that's all. If anyone is involved in lost love in any way, this is the book to read. real life is messy. The lady who posted the bad review should go read Harlequin fiction.