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28 Reviews
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39 of 40 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Read this book before you wind up living the movie,
By A Customer
This review is from: Lost & Found Lovers: Facts and Fantasies of Rekindled Romances (Hardcover)
Unlike what some may think, this book doesn't advise people to break up their marriages. It is a study of what happens when lost lovers reunite, as is happening more and more with the opportunities the Internet provides.As a warning, Dr Kalish writes that "It is naive and unrealistic to believe ... that former romantic feelings ... can be controlled by love or loyalty to a spouse." She even warns that "a Lost Lover in a marriage that he or she values should think twice before 'doing lunch.'" This book helped me understand what was happening in my life after I tracked down my first love. It made sense out of what I was feeling and why, after 27 years, she is the most important person in my life. It also helped me understand why I'd felt so isolated for those 27 years. This book is a must-read for anyone considering getting back together with a former love. Before you agree to meet - before you even go looking for them on the Internet - read this book. It could save you a lot of grief. Or at least prepare you for it. If you're on the fence on whether to buy the book, visit the LostLovers website run by Dr Kalish and read the stories there in the forums. Some will break your heart, others will fill you with joy. All will educate you. Then you'll know why you need to buy this book.
24 of 25 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
This stuff is no joke,
By
This review is from: Lost & Found Lovers: Facts and Fantasies of Rekindled Romances (Paperback)
I bought this book after my first love from high school found me on classmates.com. This book helped me to put things in perspective and to deal with powerful emotions I haven't felt since then. If you're not in a position to consumate an old love, please don't look for him or her.
We found each other again, but we were not in a position to do much about it. So in the end we're both torn, longing and full of heartache. Who wants to live like that?
24 of 25 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
heartbroken because of a reunion,
By Scarred by lost love (Seattle WA) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Lost & Found Lovers: Facts and Fantasies of Rekindled Romances (Paperback)
I have never written a review before, on any site, but the last reviewer got me mad.
My wife of 36 years took off with her lost love almost a year ago. I was waiting for the fantasy of him to wear off and then she'd return. It wasn't happening. Then I came across Lost and Found Lovers. It taught me about what was going on, as hard as that was for me to hear -- My wife is not coming back. And I also learned that it wasn't my fault, not any failing in me as a husband. This information is helping me move forward. Sweet stories may be fun to read, but we are dealing with nonfiction here! Real people's lives! I needed reality, and the doc's book gave it to me. She reported what she found, that's all. If anyone is involved in lost love in any way, this is the book to read. real life is messy. The lady who posted the bad review should go read Harlequin fiction.
17 of 18 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
I'd Give It a 10 if I Could,
By Kevin (Rhode Island) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Lost & Found Lovers: Facts and Fantasies of Rekindled Romances (Paperback)
This book gave me the courage to contact my college sweetheart from 36 years ago. Luckily, both of us were divorced. And now we are married again - to each other. GRIN
The professor's book was really helpful in making my decision, because all these years I thought I was crazy for thinking about her. But Kalish's book also helped both of us during our reunion with her facts and the stories from other couples. Last but not least, my grown kids were giving me a hard time about this, because Anna preceeded their mother and they had trouble thinking that they were a mistake because I should have married Anna. They read Kalish's book and then they understood. They have warmed up to her, and I couldn't be more happy. I hope the professor does well with this book. I read Boyfriends Back before I found Kalish's book and believe me, that other has nothing to offer compared to this psychologist's book. For one thing, Kalish has something to offer MEN. Thanks, Doc!
21 of 24 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
This book is Perfect for those with lost lovers,
By A Customer
This review is from: Lost & Found Lovers: Facts and Fantasies of Rekindled Romances (Hardcover)
I too have reunited with my lost love from Jr. High school, everyone thought I was crazy. He has left an verbally abusive marriage. And I am leaving an unhappy marriage so we can be together. We know our future lies with each other. This book is a must read for those who have found or planning on reconnecting with a lost love from the past. It is very encouraging for those who do. Gives insight into the intense emotions that are generated by it.
21 of 24 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
We are one of the Couples in the book,
By A Customer
This review is from: Lost & Found Lovers: Facts and Fantasies of Rekindled Romances (Hardcover)
We responded to Nancy Kalish, when she began her research for the book. We were both living in California, about a mile apart, and had no idea we were so close. We were apart 29 years; this August we will celebrate our 14th anniversary. We are still very much in love and living proof that it does pay to find the "love of your life" and soul mate. No one knows me like he does and vise-versa. We think alike, we say the same thing at the same time. All our memories of the time in between our first breakup, on graduation night, and our finding each other again 29 year later, have faded; both the good and the bad. We can't remember when we weren't together. I guess one of the most important things is; you have a history with a "lost love". Life has never been the same. We think we were given a second chance to do things right this time and we made the most of it. Never give up, that happiness is out there somewhere. Its fun to know there are others out there like us that have finally made the connection again. Who knows maybe we'll be in her second book as a sucessful couple.From our viewpoint; wonderful reading.
14 of 15 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
really helpful book!,
By librarian Jo (Canada) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Lost & Found Lovers: Facts and Fantasies of Rekindled Romances (Paperback)
This book helped me understand why I think about my lost love, even after many years. But even though there is research in here, the style is not dry - the stories are really good. And she has a good sense of humor. I'd recommend it to anyone who has even wondered about the one who got away.
14 of 15 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Confirmed our belief in what we felt,
By A Customer
This review is from: Lost & Found Lovers: Facts and Fantasies of Rekindled Romances (Hardcover)
It has been almost a year now since I found my lost love. We had not seen nor spoken to one another in over 23 years. We were in love all though high school and were engaged to be married on her 18th birthday. A year later I entered military service and we eventually were disconnected. Our seperation was never resolved. neither of us ever asked for or wanted it to happen. There were outside influences that we have since learned of that effected this outcome. As soon as we spoke on the phone again, we knew! We lived only 2 hours apart and had to see each other as soon as possible and when we did, there was absolutely no doubt that we needed to be together. We were caught off guard by our feelings and struggled with this for quite some time. Not long after our reunion she bought Dr. Kallish's book and it was of great comfort to know that there were others like us and that these relationships were real. We are now together as we knew it was meant to be and are more in love than ever. We have been in contact with Dr. Kalish and our story will be part of her second book on this subject. Bill & Debbie
17 of 19 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Restless Longing,
By A Customer
This review is from: Lost & Found Lovers: Facts and Fantasies of Rekindled Romances (Hardcover)
You always have one love in your life. The love that you just can't forget, the memory you refuse to erase. This book is about real stories and real people finding their lost loves. Some of them found their true happiness and others just found out that there is joy in the knowing. Just a great book and very inspiring.
10 of 10 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Propose to your first love after a long time apart,
By
This review is from: Lost & Found Lovers: Facts and Fantasies of Rekindled Romances (Paperback)
To sum it up ... if you are single, not in a relationship, and have a first love out there that you haven't seen in a while ... this book just may be what it takes for you to rekindle and re-connect. Cases of people marrying each other right out of high school seem to spell doom - but not if (according to Kalish) they are separated by fair length of time and reunite as older, independant adults. However, if you are not single and free, or are divorced with children, and has accumulated baggage that leaves you chained to past choices with permanent consequences ... don't hire that PI or go on classmates.com.... it's a recipe for a fiery disaster to more people than you think.
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Lost & Found Lovers: Facts and Fantasies of Rekindled Romances by Nancy Kalish PhD (Hardcover - Feb. 1997)
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