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Jeff Goldblum & Pete Postlethwaite with a crew of total dunces run for their lives from dinosaurs in the jungle
on June 21, 2015
Such an awful adaptation to an awesome sequel book written by the late Michael Crichton.
Amazing actors like Jeff Goldblum & the late Pete Postlethwaite (when he was alive he was one of Great Britain's top actors), could not even bring spark into this horrible script and terrible plot (barely followed the book at all). The producers decided to just create a bunch of CGI dinosaurs, make them run around an island chasing the human characters, and essentially make a special effects monster movie instead of an excellent science fiction adventure work of art like the first JP.
The plot itself is nonsensical; Jeff Goldblum returns back to civilization only to get mocked by the skeptical public & finds himself a recluse. Summoned by a dying John Hammond, he finds his idiot girlfriend Julian Moore has decided to fly off to the lost island known as site B, the prototype for Isla Nubar the first location for Jurassic Park. Hammond realizes the dinosaurs that some how survived on that first testing site escaped the abandoned zoo pen, and have been running around the island claiming different sections as territory (the place is laid out like Universal Orlando or Disney World where different "ride" like creatures are located around certain areas).
Goldblum tells Hammond he is crazy for approving Julian Moore from running off to the island knowing how dangerous it is, then he sent on an expensive high tech expedition to "Island B" where he is teamed up with Vince Vaughn and this other guy. Goldblum's daughter defies his bad parental advice and stows along for the trip who's operations order really isn't truly defined at all (if Goldblum is only going there to find his girlfriend and high tail out of dodge, then why be apart of the zoological cage set up observation mission??? What does that have to do with rescuing his girlfriend who happens to be so darn brilliant and important yet lacks the basic brain power to keep as far away from the Tyrannosaurus Rex as possible?)
What was Vince Vaughn's intended specific job? To take pictures, help translate Spanish, and act as a handy man? We find out as this expedition into the wilds of stupidity continues, that Vaughn is actually this sabotaging ultra environmentalist hired by John Hammond to place a wrench into the works of this group of mercenaries hired by the corporate entity Ingen (a company that was out of business in the original book), to hunt down and capture as many dinosaurs as possible.
Goldblum finds his girlfriend after she is barely trampled to death by a creature, and realizes she is a bigger idiot then previously thought. Instead of utilizing actress Julian Moore's excellent talents, she is reduced to a wondering "zip a dee doo dah" clown who behaves more like a 5 year old then any brilliant scientist.
After the dinosaurs are collected, and rounded up into holding pens, in order for some action to flow in this very weak and anarchistic plot line, Vince Vaughn decides to let a Triceratops loose to run wild stampeding on everyone, forgetting that he too could end up on the business end of those big horns. There we are introduced to this low class gang of complete idiots who make up the ranks of the mercenaries, who are led by Pete Postlethwaite the great white South African hunter guy whose only mission in life is to track and hunt down a Tyrannosaurus Rex. He is supposed to be the bad guy, along with this dandy corporate Englishman who plans on building a new JP in San Diego (brilliant idea).
From this point every aspect of this movie makes no sense & loses all control, and the characters are then trapped on the island forced to run for their lives as they traverse through different areas like they are customers at Disneyland, attempting survive the attacks of numerous different creatures.
We are left with the scenes of Jeff Goldblum wondering why he is even in this movie as he struggles along the jungle, realizing he is the ONLY guy with half a brain among these morons who are all running for their lives from various monsters, still trying to advise people who lack any clue nor bother considering what he is trying to tell them.
Then after a long chase scene of heroic escapes from one dinosaur to the next, this mess ends with Goldblum flying to California only to be chased by a T-Rex in San Diego for NO reason other then the movie makers thought it would be really cool.
Then we are left with no satisfying resolve nor any conclusion that is remotely rational; because of the loose beastie in SD, the world now knows about the mysterious dinosaur island and the creatures still run loose.
The dinosaur creatures and CGI special effects are great, but this movie is down right awful from start to finish. What was Steven Spielberg thinking after making some masterpiece movies and television shows (ET, Amazing Stories, JP part one, Schindler's List, Saving Private Ryan, Indiana Jones, Jaws, Close Encounters; afterwards making the films Lincoln & Munich) creates a brilliant Hollywood science fiction adventure spectacular adaptation of Crichton's fantasy novel only to create this monstrosity? This turkey was cut from the same cloth as JP one???
The sequel book has an excellent & believable plot that fits into either the first book or the first movie alike. What was supposed to happen at the end of the first JP adventure, was that Ingen had went bankrupt and the US Military had teamed up with the Costa Rican government to bomb the Hell out of the island with the intent to destroy the dinosaurs.
But Hammond's company, those who survived, did not disclose of the prototype site known as the other island (which her history had been controlled by Germany until the end of WW1, then left ultimately abandoned through the years) where the dinosaurs of even more variety had been created but got loose, running around the island for a good five years on their own. A new team led by Jeff Goldblum's character Ian Malcom travels to this exotic island to rescue someone and also scientifically investigate the animals behavior, with the intent to hurry back and work with the authorities to deal with the problem of these wild creatures. There had never been any intention to expand this franchise at all after "Lost Word", thus JP parts three, four, and five are nonsensical.
All and all this film sucked so much, and was such a major disappointment that it deserves the grade of D- and thumbs down. The movie is not suitable to be among the rank and file of a masterpiece like JP part one.