Loud in the House of Myself: Memoir of a Strange Girl [Hardcover]

Stacy Pershall (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 31, 2011

"An utterly unique journey down some of the mind's more mysterious byways . . . ranges from the shocking to the simply lovely."—Marya Hornbacher

Stacy Pershall grew up depressed and too smart for her own good, a deeply strange girl in Prairie Grove, Arkansas (population 1,000), where the prevailing wisdom was that Jesus healed all. From her days as a thirteen-year-old Jesus freak, through a battle with anorexia and bulimia, her first manic episode at eighteen, and the eventual diagnosis of bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder, this spirited and at times mordantly funny memoir chronicles Pershall's journey through hell-several breakdowns and suicide attempts—and her struggle with the mental health care system.

After her 2001 suicide attempt, broadcast live on a Webcam, Pershall realized the need to heal her mind and body. She found a revolutionary cure (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) and a new mood-stabilizing medication. She also met a tattoo artist and discovered the healing power of body modification. By giving over her skin and enduring the physical pain, she learned about the true nature of trust.

Editorial Reviews

From Booklist

If Pershall’s electrifying account is any indication, being inside the head of a person with undiagnosed and untreated borderline personality disorder (BPD) is like a living nightmare. As if the double play of adolescent anorexia and bulimia wasn’t enough, this intelligent, high-achieving, and hypersensitive young woman began entertaining bizarre and suicidal thoughts while still in high school. Her deeply religious parents possessed no tools for comprehending the breadth of their daughter’s illness. Even as her anorexic behavior improved somewhat due to the efforts of a therapist whom she respected, Pershall’s overriding BPD snowballed, overwhelming her with Monty Pythonesque hallucinations and off-the-chart mood swings. Despite her illness, she graduated from college, moved from Arkansas to, ultimately, New York City, and partially supported herself by creating a 24/7-webcam presence, with cameras following her every move throughout her apartment. Following an unsuccessful World Wide Web–witnessed suicide attempt, Pershall began treatment and has eventually assembled a life that, as long as she is properly medicated, allows her a creative if unconventional lifestyle. This is one whirlwind ride. --Donna Chavez

Review

“If Pershall’s electrifying account is any indication, being inside the head of a person with undiagnosed and untreated borderline personality disorder (BPD) is like a living nightmare….This is one whirlwind ride.” (Booklist )

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 232 pages
• Publisher: W. W. Norton & Company (January 31, 2011)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0393066924
• ISBN-13: 978-0393066920
• Product Dimensions: 1 x 5.8 x 8.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (59 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #709,577 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Stacy Pershall, born in Arkansas in 1971, has lived in nine cities and three countries. She holds a Master of Fine Arts degree in electronic art from the University of Cincinnati. Now living in New York City, she is a belly dancer with Alchemy Tribal Collective. Loud in the House of Myself, her first book, was chosen for the Barnes and Noble spring 2011 Discover Great New Writers program.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

33 of 35 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Evocative, Informative, Unforgettable, Unique. January 27, 2011

By Manko Eponymous

Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase

The story: bright, imaginative girl in small-town Arkansas grows up weird, including serious adventures in eating disorders, mania, depression, borderline personality disorder, suicide attempts, sex, drugs, rock n' roll, theatre, art, therapy, and unwanted internet fame. Pershall does a masterful job of balancing the subjective story of how it all FEELS with intelligent and thoughtful insights into how it all WORKS; even pathologies and crises that nearly killed her are both related with brutal and vivid honesty and explained in accessible terms. Even after years of up-close personal experience with bipolar and borderline loved ones, I found Pershall's white-knuckle ride to stability left me with a lot to think about. This book is hard to put down, and often painful to read, but I'm sure it'll be harder still to forget, not just because of how powerfully she describes the mad world she's barely survived, but because of her gift for making readers UNDERSTAND behaviors and psychopathologies the world in general often mocks or turns away from in disgust. I guarantee that before you're done reading this you'll be making a mental list of people you care about whom you want to read it too.

It might well save their lives.

14 of 14 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars my head is still spinning February 21, 2011

By Timna Understein

Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase

I just finished Loud in the House of Myself. My head spins (which is a difficult thing to make happen!) from the raw truth the author shares with us as she tells of her life long battle with her existence within her own skin. I am both humbled and wiser from experiencing this memoir. An experience it is, not just a read. Stacy Pershall educates readers with her tremendous ability to reveal the dark details of a woman living in a world in which her insides do not match her environment...and the torment and struggle brought about by that condition. Though many pages are filled with despair, there is also just the right amount of humor and wit to make this reading journey not only a raw and emotional ride, but one with laughter and hope as well. A true gem!

11 of 11 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Oh my! February 17, 2011

By Debra

Format:Hardcover

I read this book in one sitting. Pershall's story draws you in whether you are horrified by her actions or sympathetic to her feelings. This is the rare book that can change the way you think about something. Pershall is amazingly brave and her writing never sinks into self pity. The book is structured and paced like a novel, making it easier to read than the subject matter would suggest. It sounds blasphemous to say that Loud in the House of Myself is a fun read, but it is. It's also a desperately important book.

12 of 13 people found the following review helpful

3.0 out of 5 stars Courtesy of The Figment Review at Figment[dot]com April 10, 2011

By The Figment Review

Format:Hardcover

by Kelly Lynn Thomas

Loud in the House of Myself: Memoir of a Strange Girl by Stacy Pershall is an ambitious book. And, for the most part, it achieves what it sets out to do.

The book follows Pershall's continuing struggles with borderline personality disorder, anorexia, bulimia, and multiple suicide attempts. It attempts not only to tell her personal story, but to examine borderline personality disorder in a broader context, as well as examine closely how Pershall finally finds a way to heal through a type of behavioral therapy and tattooing.

Unfortunately, there aren't enough pages in the book to do everything well, and the inclusion of so much technical information ultimately diluted the story.

Pershall's personal story is compelling nonetheless, especially for any young girl who's ever had body issues, thought she was ugly, stupid, not good enough, or too weird to have many friends.

She explains her situation in the beginning of the book, and introduces dialectical behavior therapy (one of the only proven methods to treat and control borderline personality disorder) and the way getting tattoos has given her a way to reclaim her body and make it her own.

After the introduction, I expected Pershall to spend more time on her tattoos, and especially looked forward to the moment she discovered tattooing would finally give her power over her own self (because you do absolutely want to see Pershall succeed and take control of her life).

That moment never came. She tells us about it, but we never get to see it, and that was the book's biggest disappointment for me....

The book is broken down into chapters, and each chapter starts with a description of one of Pershall's tattoos, who gave it to her, and why it's important.

In theory, I liked the structure of the book, with a tattoo providing a lead-in to each chapter. In practice, those sections often proved to be frustrating, as they hinted at parts of Pershall's life we never get to see in the book (for example, in an early chapter she mentions her first "girlfriend" and we are left guessing whether this is a friend who is a girl or a female lover after she mentions several of her boyfriends).

Pershall also delves into the medical aspects of her mental illnesses and how her behavior therapy works. Again, in theory I like that she can separate herself from the disease and examine it dispassionately, but in practice those sections fell flat and left me wishing she had stuck with talking about her own personal experience.

In Pershall's defense, I think she wanted to make the book about something bigger than herself and ensure her readers came away with an understanding of what borderline personality disorder is. I wasn't familiar with BPD before reading this, and Pershall did succeed in opening my eyes to a disease that many people suffer from.

Ultimately, I would recommend Loud in the House of Myself to girls of any age who've ever doubted themselves. Pershall's message in that area, at least, is quite clear: You can always be who you want to be, even if sometimes it takes a little extra work. Read more ›

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars The courage to be yourself. February 18, 2011

By Irene Novac

Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase

Stacy Pershall's memoir is an inspirational piece filled with the blood, sweat and tears of mental health struggle. It chronicles her growth from self-loathing teenager to irrepressibly creative young adult who is eventually diagnosed with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and bipolar disorder. What is truly striking about this book is that the author's struggles with eating disorders and mental illness are plotted against the background of an unsympathetic environment and small-town America. I have difficulty comparing this account to Elizabeth Wurtzel's writings because I feel that Stacy's socioeconomic background makes her a much more sympathetic figure. She isn't simply a poor little rich girl with money who is locked inside herself, but a young woman from more humble beginnings longing to break free. Through a great deal of torment and toil, she eventually finds this place of creative fertility, but not without having to constantly battle for a tranquil status quo- the reality that is life with mental illness. The moments in between are gruesome, painful, bombastic and beautiful.

Stacy's story is meant to give hope to others. It is filled with heart, sincerity and exuberance while still daring to walk the reader through the hellish details of mental illness and loss of control over oneself, and without resorting to pedantic sentimentalism. Harsh reality is simply a matter of fact here. One can only imagine the years of agony spent compiling these experiences. Throughout the book, Pershall recuperates the notion of beauty by describing her manifold tattoos, each a healing experience in itself.

I think every parent should tell their daughter to have the courage to walk proud and walk like a circus freak. Stacy's story certainly does.... She is someone truly beautiful, inside and out. Read more ›