Customer Reviews

Louder Than Words: A Mother's Journey in Healing Autism

5 star:		(219)
4 star:		(42)
3 star:		(9)
2 star:		(16)
1 star:		(45)

 

 

I too have a child who has autism and I was disappointed in Jenny's book. If you can get past the swearing (I'm not sure why she has to cheapen her experience with expletives), she definitely writes from her heart. However, as a non-celeb mom trying to find ways to deal with autism and not go bankrupt in the process, I had a hard time identifying with Jenny's journey since she seems to have a lot of money to put towards her son's treatment, and other help like nannies and cleaning ladies and such. Further, Jenny did seem to find a treatment that worked for her son, but I feel that all kids on the spectrum are so different and respond differently to the various treatments out there. She seems to advocate that this is "the only way". I think there are better books out there from a parent dealing with autism. Look at Susan Senator's Making Peace with Autism for starters. I appreciate the awareness Jenny has brought to autism with her TV appearances, but sadly, I thought her book was a little disappointing.

You can summarize most of the book by "Mommy Instinct" and "Google University".

As a person with a Masters in Biochemistry, it pains me that surfing around on Google now qualifies as "research" worthy of printing in a book. I'm sure the true autism scientists who get up every day painstakingly working toward some answers, must cringe that Jenny McCarthy is now their spokeswoman. I suppose any press is good press, and with media coverage comes grant money... so perhaps Jenny may be helping them out somehow.

As a person who is a now a physician, I think Jenny should understand that the doctors she bashes for the first 50 pages of the book did not go to medical school, and work 90 hours a week during their residency, and incur huge debt, just to come to work and give her bad advice. Doctors are human, and actually do care (especially the new ones), yet they must handle situations as they are taught. True, the outcome (or lack thereof) might be frustrating for a parent... but I wish she would accept that the people at the time were likely trying to do their best... and doctors are not God... they sometimes do not know all the answers for a situation that falls outside of the norm.

As a parent of a four year old with autism, I do feel that Jenny accurately conveyed the joys, frustration, fear, tears, more frustration, confusion, and even more frustration that is associated with a parent's discovery and subsequent acceptance that their child has autism. Herein I think is the value of this book. It may give some insight to friends and families of those with autistic children... what goes on in our homes when we are alone. Her best line was to the effect of... "please offer to babysit for these parents so they can go out to dinner."

I wonder if Jenny could appreciate the challenge facing other parents with autistic children, who cannot afford a nanny to help out, who cannot afford intensive therapy, who may have been kicked off their medical insurance plans. Now that would be an interesting follow-up book.

Gluten-free diets. There is no scientific proof yet that these diets help for certain. I think that if your child has obvious GI problems then it is worth a try... however there are also legitimate businesses capitalizing off Jenny's PR campaign who charge $1500 to evaluate a child and then prescribe the same diet to every child. If that child makes gains over the 1-2 year monitoring period... was it the intensive therapy... or classroom instruction... or the diet... or just the passage of time... that caused the improvement?

OVERALL: Its a decent read. Took me four hours. Rather than buy it, go borrow it from a friend and donate $20 to an autism society instead.

I am so deeply disappointed by this book that I feel ill. I had purchased the book as a gift for my Mother's birthday hoping she would find comfort in it's pages. My youngest brother was diagnosed with Autism nearly 2 decades ago when very little was known about the disorder. My other brother was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome in the last few years. I was excited at the thought of her finding solace in a good book, unfortunately it will not be found in this one.

I read Jenny's Belly Laughs book even before I was expecting and recommended it to many others. I enjoyed her humor and perspective, how candid she was about her pregnancy. I had hoped that Ms. McCarthy would have brought that same humor and enlightenment to her new circumstances. I have been her cheerleader and called friends when I knew she would be on a talk show. I wanted everyone to hear what she said. I was grateful she was so open and willing to talk about Autism. I couldn't wait to read and share her book. What I found was fact covered in a pile of vulgarity, profanity, tantrums, and narcissism. I was continually amazed at how poorly she treated others from her husband to hospital staff. Even her own father couldn't stay with her because he was blind in one eye (he still had another eye how much could he hinder her!) and she couldn't handle 2 special needs people in her house at that time.

I am thrilled that Ms. McCarthy was able provide the desperately needed services for her son. For those of us in reality we will never have the ability to purchase or muscle our way into the places that can help 'cure' our Autistic loved ones. For those of us not able to (I hate to say it) exploit our loved ones struggles into book deals (she repeatedly wrote about how she had to do what she needed to get another book deal to support the family, um would that be this book?) There are so many other good books out there that offer help and support without the profanity (I can not count how many F words she used!!!), and vulgarity. We need to educate ourselves and others. We need to change the thinking of our mainstream medical practitioners. We need to make copies of the reports and literature that has formed our opinions and beliefs and give them to our friends and doctors so they too can make educated, informed decisions. Please, please do not by this book. Go to a DAN conference or join a support group with other humans who will love and support you. I am grateful everyday for my brothers. I would not change them. It breaks my heart that we could not provide more for my brothers, but we did what we could. I feel this book would only add to my Mother's and many others heart ache.

I applaud Jenny for bringing autism to the forefront. I have a high functioning ASD child. That is badly needed. Beyond that she seems to applaud pseudo-science as a cure.

Many people do not have the money she does to try all these alternate treatments, which may work for a very small percentage but if were broadly applicable would be applied. They are not for a reason.

She also mentioned that her child went through ABA the only statistically proven method for treating autistic children. She seems to downplay the importance of this in favor of diet etc.

Also blaming mercury filled vaccines is falacious, since the stockpile of therimsol vaccines is now largely gone since 2002-2003 yet autism still continues to rise at alarming rates. So, we can rule out therimosol for the majority of new cases by now. So please vaccinate your baby measles, mumps etc can be devasting to an infant.

The publicity is needed. It just needs to be accurate and factual publicity.

Lots of parents of children with autism are thanking Jenny for bringing her son's story to light. Allopathic medicine has abandoned our kids. The Government has abandoned and ignored an epidemic. If 1 in 150 children were turning up blind, you can bet they would not be looking for "the gene" that causes blindness. In this book Jenny shares the treatments that made her precious boy come back to life-gluten and casein free diet, antifungal treatments to restore his gut, chelation to remove toxic levels of heavy metals, and more. This is a story told by thousands of mothers- but now someone will listen, because Jenny's not just a mom, she's are a celebrity. She could have been like so many of the other celebrities with children who have autism - and hid out- but instead she came forward. Thank you Jenny- and shame on those who will not use their voice in media to come forward. This book is awesome- and a quick read. After years of reading scientific studies to help my own son get well, it was so refreshing to read a book that made you feel like you were listening to a friend.

I'm not going to spend a lot of time on this review, so in short, here are the two things that hack the rating down for me from 3.5 to 2:

* Repeated use of the F word in conversation is semi-acceptable among those you know well, but repeated use in a book on Mothering and Autism is an indicator of crudeness. There is no need to drag the culture down any further than necessary, particularly in a book on Autism and a Mother's love. (I was in the military and I can swear with the best of them, thank you.)
* Jenny McCarthy seems to think that ONLY mothers care about children with autism. Listen Blondie, just because your husband couldn't take it, and the ladies at the UCLA medical center hung out there all day long, doesn't mean that most Men don't take an active role in caring for their children's autism. I'm the one that does the majority of the active work for my son, and I take great offense at the remarks about men not being involved.

As for the rest of it? It's always enlightening to hear about another parent's struggles with Autism, but her son's condition is certainly out of the norm for most kids on the spectrum, both in terms of the original symptoms appearing after massive seizures and in the amount of money she was able to plow into treatment. I'm glad her son is doing better, but a lot of the material in this book simply isn't useful for the average parent.

As another parent of a child with autism, her uneducated, anything for publicity approach is offensive. If her non-medical analysis helped her child, that's great. THIS IS CERTAINLY NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR TRUE MEDICAL ANALYSIS. Autism is really not that simplistic, that a Hollywood idiot can come up with the cure-all for autism, that over 50 years of medical research has missed.

I've used Amazon for years, and this is the first review I've ever posted. Halfway through this book I wondered if others were as appalled as I was by this horrible book, so I came to Amazon to read reviews, and I was SHOCKED to see the 4+ stars rating on this book. I felt compelled to post in the hopes of saving others from wasting their money and their minds on this horrible book. I can't believe anyone ever agreed to publish this book. I wish there were more I could do than just post here to warn others off.

Please note that a surprising number of people who gave this book high ratings don't have or know a child with autism. Maybe if you're not familiar with it this book helps you understand it, but unfortunately you'll learn that autism is something to be ashamed of and to hide, and can be easily cured. That's just wrong. Anyone with the briefest exposure to a child with autism will find this book useless and offensive. My niece has autism, and I would never in a million years subject my sister to a book this poorly written, this uneducated, and this useless. There is no quick fix to autism. Don't you think if there were that every parent of an autistic child would be doing it, rather than struggling year after year with helping their child exist in a world that doesn't make sense to them? Autism is a very broad diagnosis, it covers lots of different people with lots of different behaviors and needs. Very smart people agree that there is still a lot to learn about autism, and that there is no one solution that will help all autistic people. Trust me, Jenny is not smarter than these very smart people. Far from it.

As a writer, her book reads like an email message to her best friend. It's train-of-thought writing, it makes her come across as bratty and uneducated, and I suspect the only reason it's not full of typos and poor grammar is because she's rich enough to have a good editor.

I'm appalled that this book was ever published. I'm a huge book lover, I read all the time, anything I can get my hands on. I love most of what I read, but I've read plenty of books that I couldn't finish because they didn't interest me, or they were poorly written. This is the first book I've ever put aside because it was SO BAD I wanted to call the publisher to ask them what they were thinking. I wanted to find a way to make them take this book off of shelves everywhere.

Please, don't buy this book. Don't read this book. Don't listen (ever) to Jenny McCarthy.

That's right folks! I said a story about an "I know everything" bare-my-boobs celebrity. Notice I didn't mention that this book was about a boy's struggle with autism and how a mother "healed" him, because that IS NOT what this book is about. I came across this book when a friend of mine showed it to me saying that she had bought the book to give to her mother. She had never read the book (and I use that term lightly), but she had an adult brother who had been previously diagnosed with autism and thought maybe her mother would be able to relate to the topic. After reading HALF of the book, my friend decided she could not give this book to her mother. After reading it, I can completely understand why. This book is judgemental, offensive, neurotic, and blantantly self-centered.

Where to begin?? I started reading the book with the intention of skimming it. Seventy pages later, I found myself disgusted with what I had read thus far. When I say disgusted, I mean that if Jenny McCarthy were standing right in front of me, I would have hit her over the head with this piece of trash and asked her what the hell she was thinking when she thought she was "the voice of autism". Are you kidding me??

First off, let's evaluate WHO we are getting this story from: a woman who's made her fortune (and I do mean fortune) by exploiting her body and acting like a ditzy blonde (anyone remember MTV's Blind Date?). It makes me sick that she's now making a fortune exploiting her son. A son she seemed to be ashamed of in the beginning. Case in point: after her son was diagnosed with autism, McCarthy went to the bookstore to find books on the subject. Keep in mind she didn't want to ask an employee to direct her to the section because she was "too scared to ask anyone for fear of being recognized". That's right people... She didn't want anyone to know that she had an autistic son. There is a second example of this in the book, as well. Finally, after searching for 25 minutes she "decided to tell her ego to shut the f*** up and ask for help". Can you say ashamed??? Unbelievable. Throughout the book, she states that she would do ANYTHING to help her son. I guess that's as long as no one knew she had a son with autism. In fact, McCarthy became so angered that a worker at a play gym inquired if Evan had a "mental problem" that she screamed at the woman and, inevitably, got her terminated from her job.

Now touching on McCarthy's use of language, both profanity and vulgarity. If she really wanted people to pay attention to the message in the book, then she should have refrained from using the f-word 5 times per chapter ("I still haven't seen one f***ng neurologist! Not one f***ing neurologist has come into this f***ing room...Find the f***ing doctor! Go! Find the f***ing doctor!" - and that's just in one paragraph) and writing things such as watching her son thrash in bed as he slept in such a way that it appeared he was "humping his bed". That is your son, lady! Have some respect for him. I'm sure he would appreciate America reading that he "humped his bed". I felt embarrassed for Evan.

Another person I felt embarrassed for was McCarthy's husband. The whole book encased one giant husband bashing. All about how he wasn't there for her and how could he let her go through this whole thing alone. Blah Blah Blah. What about Evan? There isn't one mention about how Evan needed his father. Total narcissism, but I'll come back to that later... The marriage is told from an entirely one-sided point of view and it isn't pretty. I am less inclined to take McCarthy's word about all that she says about her husband after reading the part where her husband picked up Evan, jumping excitedly into the pool with all their clothes on because Evan said he wanted to go swimming.

As a nurse, I was completely appalled (although not surprised) with the way she refers to medical staff. Completely misinformed and unappreciative. I'm sorry, but last I heard, they didn't give out a medical license when you pushed a baby out of your womb. When did being a mother mean you became all-knowing? I can't count how many times I rolled my eyes when McCarthy referred to her "mommy instincts". Not being a mother, I can't understand the mental bond between a mother and a child, but I do understand that, as a PERSON, I can't possibly know what is the best treatment for someone. Not even doctors know exactly what the "best" treatments are. Sometimes it a process of elimination to see what works for THAT patient. Personally, if I were taking care of her son, I would become offended at the way she spoke to me. She makes such a huge (and psychotically rude) spectacle of getting a neurologist in to see her son, that when he finally comes to see him, she is SO grateful that she refers to him as "Dr. I Can Fix Any Brain Except My Own". Later, she refers to him as "brain dead". Kind of ironic since he's a neurologist...

As an average working schmoe, I was offeneded by the flaunting of her financial resources (buying a heart monitor for $5,000 so she could sleep better at night, or paying $4,000 a month for in-home treatments). I am sure many many mothers would spend any amount of money to make their children better. Unfortunately Ms. McCartney, not EVERYONE has millions of dollars they can spend on medical expenses. I felt this was a slap in the face to all the other parents who live with an austic child that cannot afford to buy expensive foods, dietary supplements, or treatments. I also absolutely loved the various times she mentioned being able to see the "best" doctors immediately (because Evan "deserved the best") instead of having to wait several months like everyone else. Must be nice.... Ms. McCartney, are you aware that you are not the only parent with an autistic child? Of course not, because it's all about YOU!

Which brings me to McCarthy's blatant display of narcissism. McCarthy's rantings about how hard things were on HER ("There wasn't much of a nest egg...the pressure was always on me to pull us through...") came off as a ranting of a 4 year old child. Throughout the entire book it's ME ME ME or MY son MY son MY son. Another wonderful addition to the book is McCarthey's conceited attitude. Case in point on page 70: "I don't think anybody in the world would have been able to get on a plane and do what I was about to do after finding out her child was autistic...We all (celebrities) suffer like everyone else. Don't let designer shoes fool you." Not quite Ms McCarthy. Did I miss the paragraph before that where she was about to cure world hunger or bring peace in time of war? Because all I remember reading there was that she was going on a talk show. Um, EXCUSE ME??? Wow, getting paid to go on TV for 5 minutes and hawk your current book so that you can "get another book deal" sounds rough to me. Such an ordeal... I can tell you exactly where in the book I was overwhelmed with the desire to watch a public display of a mass burning of this crap: page 77. Now, I'm not a psychologist, but the term "Delusions of Grandeur" came to mind when I read this next part: "I was really hoping to find one (a book) that said, "I cured autism", but I didn't. I remember thinking, 'Well, maybe that's the one I'm supposed to write someday.'" Another example comes on page 85: "Now I realized God had me write those books simply as a warm-up. To get moms' attention. This is the book I hope will shift the world. This is the book I was born to write." Nice thought, but off by a long shot.

I was initially interested in her story, but half-way through the book, I wanted to stop reading it. I was so disgusted. However, I put myself through agony to read about Evan's outcome. Admittedly, I wanted to also see if McCarthy could get much worse. I have to say she didn't disappoint. She goes on to place blame on her husband, disregarding her father as a potential source of help because she didn't want "2 special needs people living in her house" (since when is being blind in ONE eye considered "special needs"?), unfairly and unjustly judging other parents who did not follow HER ways of treatment, and basically trying to come off as Evan's savior, having, what sounds like to her, single handedly "curing" Evan of autism.

Don't let the pretty face and celebrity persona fool you. This is not a good resource about autism and how to cope with it. If I could have rated it any lower than 1 star, believe me, I would have. Basically, I can summarize this review into 1 sentence: DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME. Boy, am I sorry I did!

This is only the second book I've read on autism (my son was diagnosed as "having symptoms of PDD-NOS"), and I think it is awful. She uses the F-word within the first chapter and then continues to use it throughout the book, plus other profanities. (I had no idea who she was when I borrowed the book from the library)

I, too, have had to call 911 for my children (3 times) and I was floored by how she spoke to the paramedics and hospital staff. Like another reviewer, I had to force myself to keep reading, because I wanted the information on how she helped her son. (my advice is to skip the story, and go to the back where she lists the steps to take when your child is diagnosed with autism--that's all you need to read from this book)

Besides the profanity and self-centeredness, the book is very poorly written. For example, she makes a statement that she earned a PhD in Google research and she says the reader will see how much time she spent on Google. She doesn't support that statement with any proof, other than a few mentions of late-night researching.

She recounts how much she paid for various devices and therapies for her son ($7000 for a heart monitor and $4000/week for therapies--that works out to about $200,000/year for therapies!), which, since her target audience is other moms with autistic children, I think she would be wise to leave those numbers unmentioned. $200,000 a year is more than most people's annual salary, let alone what they can afford for their autistic child. She loses rapport with her intended audience by highlighting how much she can spend on him. My initial reaction was one of disappointment--feeling that that's probably why her son has done so well, and what hope does my son have since I will have a hard time affording just the gluten/casein-free foods, let alone thousands and thousands for "the world's best" doctors and speech therapists.

I'm glad she is trying to make known that autism is treatable, but I wish she would be a little more genteel about it.

In summary, the book is poorly written with no professionalism.