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Love Addict: Sex, Romance, and Other Dangerous Drugs Paperback – September 1, 2011


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Love Addict: Sex, Romance, and Other Dangerous Drugs + Facing Love Addiction: Giving Yourself the Power to Change the Way You Love + How to Break Your Addiction to a Person
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 264 pages
  • Publisher: HCI; 1 edition (September 1, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 075731595X
  • ISBN-13: 978-0757315954
  • Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.3 x 0.4 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (31 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #370,076 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Review

"More than a recovery guide for love addicts. Vare's humorist style takes the reader on a journey through love addiction throughout the ages and explains the science behind it.... Her humor makes even the drier, more technical side of addiction easy to understand and fun to read." - Counselor Magazine

Ethlie Ann Vare shares the stories of addicts and her own, as well as interviews with therapists [and] addiction specialists.  Some of the anecdotes in this book are funny.  Others are just tragic.  This is a book that sheds light on one of the fastest growing addictions in our society and should be taken very seriously. - Blush Magazine

This book is awesome!!!!! - Margaret Cho

Witty, wise, and wonderfully courageous....You don't need to be an addict to enjoy or 'get' this book. It's a must-read for any woman who has ever struggled with love in her life - Carrie Borzillo ("Cherry Bomb," "Sinner Takes All")

Ethlie infuses her narrative with wit, irony and a breezy writing style - Bonnie Gabriel ("The Art of Erotic Talk")

About the Author

Award-winning author, journalist, and screenwriter Ethlie Ann Vare has survived four marriages, drug addiction, jail, and network television. The wit behind the hot humor blog Affection Deficit Disorder, Ethlie started out as a rock-n-roll disc jockey, then became known as an expert on pop culture and a syndicated newspaper columnist. Her books range from biographies of superstars (Stevie Nicks, Ozzy Osbourne, Legend: Frank Sinatra and the American Dream) to adventures in distant galaxies (Andromeda: The Broken Places). She is a featured speaker on campus nationwide thanks to her popular history books about women inventors: Mothers of Invention and Patently Female. Most recently she has been writing for TV shows from the ridiculous (Beastmaster) to the sublime (CSI).


More About the Author

The latest offering from writer/producer Ethlie Ann Vare, LOVE ADDICT: SEX, ROMANCE AND OTHER DANGEROUS DRUGS (HCI Books, Sept. 2011), takes on the addictions we don't want to talk about... and talks about them, in ways smart, funny, revealing and ultimately healing.

Ethlie is best known for writing and producing popular television shows including GENE RODDENBERRY'S ANDROMEDA, CSI, EARTH: FINAL CONFLICT, RENEGADE and SILK STALKINGS. A former rock journalist, Ethlie also worked in front of the camera as a "music gossip" on E! Entertainment Television.

Yet, surprisingly, she is an award-winning historian, whose books and lectures about women inventors are lauded worldwide. MOTHERS OF INVENTION (Wm. Morrow, 1988) and PATENTLY FEMALE (Wiley & Son, 2001) co-written with Greg Ptacek, are still the most-quoted books on the subject.

Customer Reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars
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See all 31 customer reviews
I have read countless books, but this one is the best.
suzanne rucker
This is an enjoyable read because the author is able to use humor very well without trivializing the information given.
theknitphomaniac
I highly recommend this book to anyone who is, or thinks they may be- a love and/or sex addict.
SLA girl

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

15 of 17 people found the following review helpful By Heather King on October 19, 2011
Format: Paperback
I read Love Addict with interest, with identification, with admiration and respect for Vare's writing, research, recovery.

My own take on "love addiction" is that it is at bottom an existential, metaphysical, theological, and in the end religious subject (religion meaning "to bind back together"). I've had to learn that just as the guy can't heal, fix, make me whole, I CAN'T DO THAT FOR HIM EITHER--and the ramifications of that go far, far beyond "recovery." They go to my whole place in the universe, the meaning of suffering, where I am to put my erotic/procreative urge, the capacity of my heart for love. Only through letting my desire go "to the stars" (i.e. not around, but through and beyond the guy) do we both take on our true significance in the scheme of things. I'm able to let go not because I love him less but because I love a little more authentically...

At the same time, TO BE SURE, you have to quit writing 8-page single-spaced letters, defriend the guy on FB, and realize that your "love" is impacting his wife, kids, and career. This is where Vare's book comes in right handy. Her goal is to define love addiction, let you decide if you're hooked, introduce you to some fellow travelers, provide tools, and make you laugh, all of which she does in spades--though in several places my impulse was not so much to laugh as to hide my face in my hands and shudder, or cry.

Here's a sampling of her pithy, common-sense reflections/advice:
"Just because your addiction isn't your fault doesn't mean it's not your responsibility." "Substance abuse isn't about the substance; it's about the abuser."
"Love addicts have a pathological relationship to their own body chemistry. We are obeying physical signals we neither recognize nor understand.
Read more ›
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful By lele on September 13, 2011
Format: Paperback
What a great read! I just finished this, and it really helped me understand love and sex addiction in a different context than either the media spin or the clinical understanding. It was a nice balance of humor and compassion for those who have and are dealing with addiction. I really enjoyed the witty writing and loved that it is backed up by scientific research--I was entertained and thoroughly informed. Highly recommend to persons dealing with any sort of addiction, or those interested in what a person feels and goes through with love addiction without feeling depressed about love!
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By Amazon Customer on August 2, 2012
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I cannot believe how dead-on this analysis of the absurdity of my life is. It talks about how the brain reacts when you're in love, when you're addicted to substances, how "normal" people react to such things, and explains how, with great dignity, we can self-diagnose what is NOT normal behavior.

I was relieved to know that there is a difference between Love Addiction and Sex Addiction, but know that there is a reasonable amount of stihgma attached to both. This is a frank, down-to-earth, yet scientifically-sound explanation of

Thank you for this wonderful resource. I recently went through an episode where I saw my ex drive by with another woman in the car, and I didn't HAVE to follow him, create chaos, embarass myself and him, potentially get arrested for stalking, any of the nonsense that could have been. I had the same physiological symptoms... my heart raced, my blood pressure shot up, i started panicking... but I knew what to do, and more importantly HOW to do it!
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By Sara on July 30, 2012
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I have to say this book really hit the nail on the head for me. Not only has Ms Vare made her experience count but the vast amount of research and scientific bits in this book, that she breaks down so easily, really does help to break free from the viscous cycle that you may find yourself in constantly.
I totally recommend this book to anyone even battling with non-threatening emotions and "dilemmas". You may never even act out any of your issues but if your an infatuation junkie, or constantly finding ways to stop thinking of someone or stopping yourself from putting yourself in someone's way then you got to read this book. Distractions can work to some extent. After you tried all methods of distraction including exhausting yourself by staying busy and still come back to square one, a place of not being able to let go, then you got to read this book. Getting to know the root cause of why you cant break free is the key.
The truth does set you free ;)
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By Amazon Customer on February 9, 2012
Format: Paperback
This book has it all! Humorous and humanizing--I couldn't put it down. I've read it twice! The subject matter of love and sex addiction drew me to the book personally and then I read it as a reference book. I really admire the author Ethlie Ann Vare putting herself out there so we can have a better understanding from a humanizing standpoint. I was so happy this was not just another drinking memoir. She tells her own personal story and that of celebs we know and love--with the science behind the disease of love and sex addiction. I found it mesmerizing and could read it again and again and hey, I think I will!
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By summerlovin on January 5, 2014
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
The answers to a life of pain, disappointment and shame. A lifetime in every kind of therapy that you can think of and thousands of dollars later...and I find the key to unlock my private hell in this book.
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