Customer Reviews

On Love

5 star:		(30)
4 star:		(14)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(4)
1 star:		(4)

 

 

Alain de Botton really got famous around the time of How Proust can change your life and he's cemented his reptuation with his new book The Consolations of Philosophy. Both of them are great, but recently, I found this book, his first one, and I was completely, I mean, completely blown away. If you've read and in any way enjoyed de botton's past books, I think you'll love this one. It's got all the strengths of his writing; the analysis, the humour, the clarity, the elegance. But it's also got passion, it feels like you're reading the private thought of a man in love (in a good way). It taught me so much about myself, it reminded me of things I'd felt, but perhaps never been able to express. It made me feel a sense of community; like when you put down a book and think, 'Hey, I'm not all alone, there's someone out there who thinks like me.' It REALLY annoys me that the way publishing works, the best books sometimes never get promoted. Why were there ads all over the New York Times for de Botton's Consolations of Philosophy, but nothing for this one. This book was published in 1993 and sank without trace. It's published by Grove Atlantic, when actually, it's the kind of book that deserves to outsell Nick Hornby. I hear in Britain de Botton is really really well known; and I guess that's the way it should be. Anyways, On Love is a terrific read. To my mind, BETTER than his last two books; much better and fresher and more heartfelt. Go for it.

I stumbled across De Botton's book years ago in book store, but didn't have the patience to read it (ugh, I didn't like philosophy in college, why read it again?). A friend recommended How Proust Can Change your Life to me a few years back, but I forgot about that too. Then, reading Joe Epstein's Snobbery (which is filled with Proust quotes), I ventured out and started my de Botton education with On Love. What a tour de force. I found myself laughing and cringing in acknowledgement of the universality of the situations. As one who deconstructs love much like our nameless hero (although without the classical references, I tend to use TV as source material), I found this book refreshing and honest. He realizes in the end, that falling in love is indeed folly, but the kind of folly that makes heroes. Read this wonderful book.

If readers don't want to think about love (or wince from personal recognition), they have no one to blame but themselves. De Botton's title serves as sufficient warning as to what this book is about. Young or old, straight or gay, anyone who has ever submitted to the experience of falling in love is bound to identify with either the narrator (who sounds remarkably like the de Botton of HOW PROUST CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE) or his beloved, Chloe.

As I read this book--which includes chapters entitled "The Subtext of Seduction," "Marxism," "The Fear of Happiness," "Romantic Terrorism," and "The Jesus Complex"--I kept puzzling over de Botton's subtitle, "a novel." Was this tack something he chose as a way of preventing friends and family from offering advice and consolation (which are usually self-serving and misplaced), or as a way of preventing ex-girlfriends from seeing themselves in the relatively pleasing portrait he paints of Chloe? Whatever his intention, he has stetched the definition of the novel in an interesting way. The basic love story between the narrator and Chloe travels its predictable path in an uneventful, but quirky, way. Neither comes off as a villain or victim, though both can be quite nauseatingly cute or petty at times. Through it all they remain convincingly human and we are drawn into their foibles, insecurities, squabbles, and desires. In short, they "live" as fictional characters. Even the narrator's hyper-reflective attitude is not bothersome. These analytical reflections read like diary entries; but the reader has evidence that the narrator has the good sense not to let Chloe know how much time he spends THINKING about his feelings for her. And it is these reflections, after all, that make the novel such a fun and thought-provoking experience for the reader.

This book is the "When Harry Met Sally" of books. It gets to the core of everything related to LOVE -- and keeps a sense of humor about the whole ordeal. You will recognize your own experience time and again throughout the book, and laugh every step of the way. The book tells the story of De Botton's relationship with one woman -- the beginning giddy phase, the settling in lovey dovey phase, and on through the other phases till the end. De Botton's witty writing makes everyone's favorite topic even more fun. This book is such a memorable read that I always recommend it to friends (or buy it for them) -- and all of them have loved it too.

Who says you can't judge a book by its cover? I was paying for a bookstore purchase one day in NYC and the cover of this book, on a rack near the cash register, called out to me. I bought it and it sat around for a few months. One day I picked it up and read it. I was transfixed, by the playfulness and wit of the writing and by the deep work the intellectually curious main character goes through in his attempts to understand the woman he's fallen in love with. He's never entirely sure where the object of his love, Chloie, is coming from, and spends much time analyzing the situation from every imaginable angle, sharing it all with us, the readers. I loved this, the idea that a man wrote this book about a man who is as perplexed as a woman is when she's on the precipice of a love affair with a guy she can't fathom. This book was as comforting as chocolate, and as delicious, a heady banquet for the romantic soul. As I read the book, I was wishing I knew the author, because he's on the same wavelength as me. I can't wait to check out his other books!

Alain de Boton's debut novel is by far and away one of the most perceptive books I've ever read. Although de Boton is trained as a philosopher, he fuses his observations concerning relationships with an engaging plotline.
The plotline isn't what makes the book, however. Instead, it's his perceptive and uncanny insight into each stage of the relationship, from its inception to its demise. And while it is obviously related to one relationship in particular, his ability to universalize the romantic experience is one of the biggest strengths of the novel. For example, he argues that "most people would throw away their cynicism, if they could; the majority just never have the chance." I read this book with a highlighter and so did most of my friends. And I don't even highlight the books I"m supposed to read for school. If any book is a must read, it's this one. Everyone who wants a relationship, is in a relationship or who has ever had a relationship should read this book.

I got this book from the public library when it first came out, directly after leaving a relationship. At the time, I knew nothing about the book; I simply wanted to wallow in my sorrow. I bought it for myself half way through reading my borrowed copy, and loved it so much, I bought it for 3 friends. In fact, 6-7 years later, I still recommend it to pretty much everyone I meet, and recently bought a new copy for a relative in the midst of multiple dating crises. This book hits the nail on the head when it comes to relationships. It explains the phases of a relationship through linguistics, philosophy, statistics and various other creative devices (including little diagrams and illustrations.) The author makes it apparent that even though everyone feels their situations are unique, that each and every person actually shares very similar human experiences. The book is extremely well-written, fresh and creative. It is an uplifting book as the situations and characters are very real, and it is also a great learning tool-- helping readers to better look at their own relationships of the past and present and see their strengths and weaknesses and to put things into perspective. Readers will find themselves laughing from the first pages of how the characters thinks he is "fated" or "destined" to meet this woman, and relate to it completely. By the end of the novel, readers will see that most relationships are not really "destined" but are simply pretty ordinary occurrences of two people meeting, being mutually attracted and taking things on a ride from there. Don't get me wrong, in no way does the book make the reader feel like an ordinary Joe, but everyone in it's audience will be able to relate to every aspect of the book, and share the very same emotions when and how the characters do. It is a gem of a novel. I have read it over and over again. I couldn't wait until his next book released, and although I have read each of du botton's books since, as well as many others, I have to admit that this is still my all-time favorite. To all of my old friends to whom I "leant" my personal copy of this novel to who never returned it-- I would love to have those hardcover first editions back! I am stuck with a pb!

This is, hands down, the most fantastic book about the bliss and the pit falls of romantic love. Elegantly written, sparse, self-conscious, full of humor and genuine feeling for all the menacing particularites of being in that awkward state known as "in love". I read it from beginning to end in one afternoon without a break for food, drink or the bathroom! Don't miss out on this experience. Buy it today and relish it forever.

Despite its saucy red cover and the bouncy lower-case fonts that adorn it and despite even its title, On Love is not a romance novel. It's more of an anti-romance novel. But not entirely. It's not a totally cynical perspective we come to see things from. Certainly, the narrator gets a little jaded with the whole love thing, but you'll figure out pretty quickly that he can't be trusted anyway, and-as his story unfolds-he learns and we have the opportunity to do so, too.

The story's not unique. The events that unfold in the unnamed narrator`s relationship over a few months aren't particularly striking; on the contrary, they're quite common. In fact, they're freakishly common. No, it's his meditations on love that draw us on. And yes, he does waffle on from time to time, but de Botton (and/or our narrator) does draw out some great moments for thought.

He falls in love within the novel's first moments. So if not an anti-romance, then this is a reverse romance. The tracing of a falling out of love.

Chloe is beautiful in a Kantian sort of way, rather than a Platonic sense, our narrator explains in some detail. He meets her on a flight back from Paris, and he spends a few pages just deliberating over the probability of his ever meeting her in the first place. Which he decides is quite slim. By which we already know he thinks too much. Which is something he and I have in common then. But never mind. That just means I can identify with our narrator.

When his affair begins to run out of fuel, our narrator falls from those dizzy heights of love into a not-quite deadly spiral. But he learns from this experience, too, and the voice that results may, I suspect, be the voice of de Botton himself. Because in the end, that voice is a reasonable, though perhaps ironically hopeful one.

De Botton is a strong, gifted, and intelligent writer. He was born the same year I was and he got this published when he was 24. Which means he wrote it when he was 22 or 23. Which makes me 1) sick with jealousy and 2) feel like a tremendously lazy bastard (I've published one measly short story at 30).

On Love is quite funny, clinically sexy, pretty thought provoking and a little long in places. And hopeful.

This book awed me. I marvel at Alain de Botton's attention to detail. He has unraveled the many mysteries of romantic love. And he does it with a great deal of wit and irony. A woman named Chloe on a Paris flight to London smites the nameless narrator, and by the time they reach the baggage claim, he knows he has fallen in love. From then on, Alain charts the different stages of love -- from the blissful beginning to the heart-wrenching ending. I have found some interesting things in this book, like the fact that one's attempt at being charming on a first date consists in not doing or saying a lot of things one would normally say or do. Having experienced this, I utterly agree with the author. In fact, this book helped me understand many things about relationships. I love the philosophies and the theories that were illustrated in his writing. This dissertation/novel is one of the most complex and most intellectually stimulating pieces of literature I have ever read. This is -- without a stretch of doubt -- the human's guide to romantic love. I strongly suggest that you read and reflect on the chapters in this novel. Believe me, you will love it!