Love and Anger: The Parental Dilemma [Paperback]

Nancy Samalin (Author), Catherine Whitney (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: May 1, 1992

A guide to dealing with the anger parents often feel toward their children offers such valuable confrontation techniques as making an exit, saying ""I"" instead of ""You,"" focusing on the essentials, and restoring good feelings. Reprint.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Parents magazine columnist Samalin takes a down-to-earth approach to helping parents elicit acceptable expressions of anger within their homes. Author tour.
Copyright 1992 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Kirkus Reviews

Longtime director of Parent Guidance Workshops, Samalin here offers practical advice on coping with anger when dealing with children. Her take-home message is that feeling angry is okay; acting in anger is something else again. With the writing help of Whitney (Uncommon Lives, 1990), Samalin presents specific problems parents have related to her and offers techniques that have worked for others. Readers will recognize the situations, identify with the anger and anguish of both children and parents, wince at the mistakes parents make, and even laugh out loud (kids do say the darndest things). Although Samalin focuses on everyday problems of ordinary parents, she also tackles special situations, such as those faced by divorced parents and parents of disabled children. (Abusive parents are referred to other sources for help.) There are no promises here of instant success and no guarantees that every suggestion will work with every child every time, but the tone is reassuring, and the chance to share the experiences of other less-than-perfect parents is, as always, comforting. Parental anger is not the only issue discussed; advice is also given on coping with the anger of children toward parents, siblings, and peers. Samalin stresses that children, like adults, have a right to feel angry and that the job of the parent is to help the child find acceptable ways to express anger. A well-written, heartening guide for the parent who needs help in handling anger. -- Copyright ©1991, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 241 pages
• Publisher: Penguin (Non-Classics) (May 1, 1992)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0140129928
• ISBN-13: 978-0140129922
• Product Dimensions: 7.8 x 5.1 x 0.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (17 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #113,995 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

41 of 42 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Good Parents Do Get Angry!, April 18, 2000

By 

Amy Bean (Northern Minnesota, USA) - See all my reviews

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Love and Anger: The Parental Dilemma (Paperback)

This book is a must-read for anyone who's ever been angry with their kids...in other words, every parent! In the second of her three incredible books, Ms. Samalin shows us that it is normal to sometimes feel intense anger toward our children. Using real-life examples from her parenting workshops, she describes the most common triggers for parental anger, and provides specific techniques for dealing with it in a way that we can be proud of later. In addition to helping me feel better about my own behavior, I know that responding in the ways Samalin suggests has helped me to provide a much better model of anger management for my kids. After all, this is not a skill that comes naturally; it is learned, for better or worse, at home. I am so grateful to have had this book to turn to when my children were still impressionable preschoolers.

20 of 20 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing, tremendous read., October 28, 2002

By 

Ken Elder (New York, NY) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Love and Anger: The Parental Dilemma (Paperback)

I am a father of 3 wonderful children but our relationship has been somewhat rocky at times. Samalin's book has not only helped me deal with my anger and feel less guilty but it has also greatly improved my relationship with all three of my kids. Samalin's book gives tons of practical examples of how to speak to your children in an affirmative rather than negative manner, and get them to do what you want without causing resentment. I've read this book twice and I plan to read it again so that I will continue to apply it's many useful concepts. Once you read this book you will definitely notice that you are more in control, calmer and can communicate with your children in a much more effective manner. This is by far the best book on parenting I have ever read and is an essential parenting resource.

19 of 19 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Great tool for parents!, November 25, 2002

By 

Just Another Mom (Wichita, KS United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Love and Anger: The Parental Dilemma (Paperback)

I just finished LOVE AND ANGER and I have to say it is going to save my life! I was acting like a complete ogre with my kids (8 and 11) and was feeling incredibly guilty about screwing them up for life. My joke with friends about the therapy my kids were destined for, "Well there's another hour on the couch for so and so," was not so funny any more. This book was the answer to my prayers. It has given me so many practical tips on how to react to my children in less angry ways. I am already finding myself listening and empathizing more with my kids' feelings. It is a must read for parents.