Love Between Equals: How Peer Marriage Really Works [Paperback]

Pepper Schwartz (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: September 6, 1995

". . .any couple contemplating marriage or reevaluating an existing one will find powerful information and encouragement here for a true marriage of minds."
-- Kirkus Reviews -- Wendy Wasserstein, Playwright: author of Isn't It Romantic? , The Heidi Chronicles, and The Sisters Rosensweig

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Pepper Schwartz is professor of sociology at the University of Washington and past president of the Society for the Scientific Study of Sex. She is the co-author of the "Sex and Health" column in Glamour Magazine, writes a regular column in American Baby, contributes regularly to the "Parent and Child" column for the New York Times, and appears biweekly as a relationship expert for KIRO-TV in Seattle, Washington, where she lives.

Product Details

• Paperback: 224 pages
• Publisher: Touchstone; Original edition (September 6, 1995)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0028740610
• ISBN-13: 978-0028740614
• Product Dimensions: 8.8 x 5.9 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (8 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #617,099 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

25 of 26 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The real issues involved in loving and living with an equal, November 1, 1999

By 

JACK TANNENBAUM (South Deerfield, MA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Love Between Equals: How Peer Marriage Really Works (Paperback)

I think "LOVE BETWEEN EQUALS" can give any two people who really desire to have a true sense of equality in their marriage or partnership - a GAUGE by which they can isolate the important issues in relationship and a way to measure how they are doing with these issues.

If they take the various issues presented and discuss them fully and fairly, they will know what is working about equality in their relationship and which areas need work. It is not for those with namb-pamby relationship (just foolin around stuff) or those where one person dominates and wants to continue dominating - the risk of becoming equal may be too threatening.

It is not a how-to book. It does not have to be. It doesn't tell you how to achieve equality. What it does teach you to do, as I said before, is to think about what equality really looks like and how to check your relationship out.

If you want to do something about it, you will probably need other help. But this book will give you a handle on what it is you need to do and it should be thoroughly digested and discussed, before deciding what your next steps are on the way to having that sense of equality. I would be glad to discuss what I wrote with anyone.

WARNING: THIS BOOK MAY BE DANGEROUS TO LOUSY RELATIONSHIPS!

12 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars EQUAL PARTNERSHIPS HOW-TO BOOK, March 30, 1997

By A Customer

This review is from: Love Between Equals: How Peer Marriage Really Works (Paperback)

This is an amazing, eye-opening book. Many couples say they believe in equality, but they also feel that the woman is naturally better at staying home with the kids, and that it just makes sense to put more emphasis on the man's career because he often makes more money.

Pepper Schwartz shows how these seemingly sensible decisions undermine a relationship of true equality. She also discusses the benefits of a truly equal relationship: the deep friendship and trust that is possible only when the two people are on equal footing.

Through interviews with egalitarian, traditional, and nearly egalitarian couples, Schwartz provides real-life examples of how people can and have transformed their relationships into truly equal partnerships, with both the woman and man sharing childcare and decision-making.

This book would make a great wedding gift!

15 of 17 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Running to Walk..., October 5, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: Love Between Equals: How Peer Marriage Really Works (Paperback)

Pepper's book is a splendid read for those looking to get into a peer relationship, but still have their toes dipped into the 'swimming' pool of the traditional, patriarichal relationship...for those seeking a partner for a peer relationship, the book is also a (re?)affirmation of life's possibilities amongst equals - something that the society at large seldom supports in this schism involved in the decline of the cartesian paradigm...

the book only gets 4 stars for it's tendency to have a slightly greater sculpt towards women who want out of a traditional marraige or relationship and are seeking other modes that include equality...from the men i know, there seem to be a good number that also are just as equally bored with a ho-hum wifey, or having to be the manly man syndrome, and are looking for an equal partner...

all and all, quite a good read...a step ahead of Deborah Tannen's book, "You Just Don't Understand", and a notch below Roger Fisher and Scott Brown's book, "Getting Together, Building Relationships as we Negotiate"...