Customer Reviews

Love Busters: Overcoming Habits That Destroy Romantic Love

5 star:		(17)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

This book, like Harley's "His Need, Her Needs" is a very practical and easy-to-read "how to" guide to improving your marriage. While HNHN focused on the positive, i.e., meeting each other's needs, Love Busters focuses on avoiding the negative traits that can destroy the feeling of love. My wife and I found plenty of things that we do, or don't do, without even realizing it, that were hurting our relationship. Being honest and facing up to these things, as the book leads us to do, was tough at first, but well worth it. We would never go back to how we were before! One thing, though, I think that this book is best read AFTER HNHN.

I cannot say enough about this book, for years I have listened to people talk about how to have a happy marriage. But Mr. Harley is the only one who has been able to make practical honest sense out of the whole deal. Never have I ever heard anybody been able to explain things as Mr Harley has. IF you want to improve your marriage or at least make sense of what is going on. Or at least be able to explain how it is you have such a great marriage. You have to read this book and the rest of Mr. Harleys books. No preacher, no Sunday school teacher, no counselor has ever made it so plain. If you decide to use the information & principles Mr Harley shares with you in your marriage, I guareenty you will not be sorry!

I purchased this book without knowing anything about Mr. Harley's other successful book and was extremely pleased. I have been married for 12 years and have a good marriage but have often wondered if other married couples have some of the same trials we do. This book confirmed it and brought out some great aspects of marriage that really do "bust" the love sometimes. Mr. Harley has step-by-step directions for dealing with those habits that we all have, the times we let our temper get the best of us and many other lovebusters that drain our love tanks. The book is easy reading and honest. Not preachy or too psychological. I'm now getting "His Needs, Her Needs" to see what I can learn from it. I would definitely recommend this book for newlyweds as well as wedded-awhiles.

Wow! Cut to the chase - no messing around! Heartfelt topics that deal with REAL problems in marriage. AND Hope for the future! Wish I had read this years ago. Thank you Dr. Harley.

I have also read "His Needs, Her Needs". I have given two copies of "His Needs, Her Needs" to friends of mine and have recommended it to numerous friends that are experiencing trials in their marriage.

"Love Busters" is on my recommendation top list as well. Every couple regardless of troubles or not should read these two books. They truly can help not only save marriages but enhance those that are "just getting along".

Your insight is invaluable to Christians and non-Christians alike.

Every chapter in this book related to me as a person. The things that I was doing unconciously that was destroying my marriage. If you want to save your marriage or ensure a prosperous future with another person this book is a must read. I only wish I have found this book and Willard Harley's other book "His Needs, Her Needs" 8 years ago when I first got married. Now my marriage is in a downward spiral and all looks hopeless. I have two young children and I love my wife dearly. She refuses to read these two books and I can't force her too. To anyone facing the crisis of losing a spouse, PLEASE read Love Busters. Make yourself a better person. It might be too late for me in my present relationship, but there is no doubt of the benefits this book affords any future relationship I might enter into in the future. I'm just sorry I didn't know about this book sooner. Good Luck.

amazing. my wife and i both read this book. from the very first chapter, we saw each other's lives. this book helped me to recognize learned behavior which is unhealthy, for me and my wife. i have genuinely learned simple steps in order to ensure that i do not behave in such a manner as to destroy my wife's romantic love for me. we are doing great, that after a 7 month seperation. i wish i would have read this book 10 years ago. i highly recommend it and would like to teach a course based on this book at church.

So much can be said about this book...however, the best and most practical statements that can be made is that if you really want your marriage to recover from whatever negative condition that it is in, the application of the content of this book will rescue you from the turbulant waters of tension to a peaceful still lake calm. Furthermore, the honest consideration and application of this book will be really hard on both spouses. There is nothing 'easy' about this book. This is not a 'quick fix' marriage book. However, the persistence and perseverance of each person working through each chapter (no matter how long it takes) is well worth it IF you want a healthy and growing marriage. If all you want to do is yet read another book on bettering your marriage, forget it. No book can better your marriage; only you with your spouse can better your marriage as long as you follow a healthy and beneficial plan, like this book's content.

An awesome and informative book especially when read in conjuntion with the companion book "His Needs, Her Needs".

"Love Busters" talks about how and why problems start in relationships and gives suggestions to fix them. It covers all the things we do to sabatoge our relationships and how we justify our actions in our minds. It really helped me to understand how and why my marriage went from being what I thought was the best thing that ever happened to me to being my biggest and most painful nighmare. It revealed to me all the things we BOTH have done wrong...and they are many!

I've read this book cover to cover 3 times, dog eared many of the pages, highlighted much of the text, and made notes all over the margins. I've loaned it to three separate friends/co-workers, but warned them at the time that they would probably want to get their own copy, so they can mark it up too. All three have and I'm happy to say my book is back in my possession!

"His Needs, Her Needs" covers what is important in relationships, how to keep them strong and how to keep each other happy and satisfied with the relationship. I wish I'd known about and read this book before I ever got married. So many mistakes could have been avoided! It is the perfect engagement or wedding gift! I've no doubt it could help many couples learn how to develop and maintain a loving and satisfying marriage.

So whether you are just getting started in a new serious relationship, starting to deal with some conflicts, or feel like your relationship is going to pieces, you will find both the books to be invaluable. I can't recommend them enough!

Willard Harley Jr. in his book, Love Busters, gives very readable and useable cures for passionless, pointless, pitable marriages. He guides the reader through clear ways to change from conflict to intimacy. Yes, with the same spouses that promised to commit their lives together on their wedding day and now have fallen out of love, his steps work to lead them back to the passion they experienced as newlyweds.

I'll admit to being skeptical about this book because the author is reputed to be a "Christian" author. The "title" of "Christian" alone is often enough to send me running in the opposite direction because of the incredible and brutal experiences I've encountered from men and women who take pride in being identified with that particular belief system.

This author managed to cut through swaths of prideful dogma laid by the puritannical human judges I've come to know as "believers." In and of itself, Harley's writing style is impressive and commendable as he seems to go through great pains to avoid dogmatic identification so as not to "turn off" skeptics or followers of other faiths. He speaks sanely and eloquently to the very real relational stumbling blocks people from all backgrounds unconsciously allow to creep into their marriages.

I was thoroughly impressed by the manner Harley wrote about counselling a homosexual male who married a heterosexual female in order to keep his sexual preference concealed, and the resulting turmoil that surfaced when the client could not avoid a homosexual affair. The thoughtfulness of Harley's professional work revealed spectacular self-control and heart-held discipline to avoid the anti-gay stance advocated in the evangelical community. This client story, the outcome, and how Harley applied his consistent method of couples counselling was amazing and adds the needed sincerity that make Harley's approach credible for "humans", not only "Christians".

The "Love Busters" which Harley describes as "annoying habits and behaviors" that subtly eradicate "romantic love" in a marriage over time convey deep truth that makes way for changes that indeed bring about restoration of romantic love: that is, for the men and women who are willing to reflect and undertake the difficult work of internal change. Harley's suggestions seemed sensible, logical, and grounded in common sense, so I began to experiment with some of Harley's specific approaches to address a couple recurring communication obstacles in my own significant (heterosexual) relationship. (Sorry "Christians" , but these methods will probably also work in same-sex relationships, too.) Although his "Love Bank" deposit/withdrawal method might sound "corny" at first, the results spoke for themselves.

I'd rate our relationship as very good considering the relationships Harley counselled which were often in dire straights. I implemented a couple suggestions practically verbatim as Harley states he did, and what an incrdible difference it made. I experienced noticeable changes and significant results within only a couple weeks. I'm talking about "scratching my head" and saying to myself "huh?" type of results! My marital situation allowed my to be subtle in doing these things, and the suggestions are not "out of character" for me. But to watch my beloved become visibly more secure and trusting brought tears to my eyes, and thankfulness to my heart.

If you are a caring man or woman who loves their spouse, you owe it to them, to your marriage, and to whatever spiritual Source that allowed your relationship to materialize in this "world of time" to improve yourself even more. I'd also venture to say if your relationship is in trouble, you probably have little to lose and much more to gain if you invest your own vulnerablity in Harley's methods. Even with a skeptical bias toward "Christians", my short-term experiences have convinced me that Willard Harley's "Love Busters" are credible, objective, and helpful. To realize that my beloved is not only happier, but PROTECTED while she is most vulnerable by loving me is quite an incredible expereince to grasp. Heck - this book even PROTECTS ME from being my own worst enemy! I'm motivated to reference this book and Harley's methods as often as they apply to the situations that unfold in our lives.