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Love Busters: Protecting Your Marriage from Habits That Destroy Romantic Love Hardcover – May 1, 2008


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Frequently Bought Together

Love Busters: Protecting Your Marriage from Habits That Destroy Romantic Love + His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage + His Needs, Her Needs Participant's Guide: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage (A Six-Session Study)
Price for all three: $36.76

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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 320 pages
  • Publisher: Revell; Rev Exp edition (May 1, 2008)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0800718941
  • ISBN-13: 978-0800718947
  • Product Dimensions: 9 x 6.4 x 1.1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (51 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #28,728 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From the Inside Flap

Is the honeymoon over?

Are you losing the love you once felt for each other? According to Dr. Harley, "After couples get married, they usually develop habits that destroy their love for each other. I call those destructive habits Love Busters. And as long as Love Busters are tolerated, love doesn't have a chance."

With this insightful book, you and your spouse can learn to avoid the six most common Love Busters that may have gained a foothold in your marriage:

• Selfish demands
• Disrespectful judgments
• Angry outbursts
• Dishonesty
• Annoying habits
• Independent behavior

Once you throw out these habits, your love for each other can be restored and your conflicts more easily resolved.

From the Back Cover

Are you losing the "chemistry" you once had?
Is sex becoming a burden?
Do you bring out the worst in each other?
Are you arguing a lot more lately?
Are you growing apart?

Then you need Love Busters. Marriage expert Dr. Willard F. Harley, Jr., identifies the six Love Busters that pull marriages apart and shows how you and your spouse can learn to avoid them.

You will see that once Love Busters are eliminated, conflicts over friends and relatives, career choices and time management, financial planning, children, or sex will be much easier to resolve.

The strength of your marriage depends on the passion you share for each other. So stop destroying the feeling of love and discover, instead, how to build your love with care and with time.

Customer Reviews

4.5 out of 5 stars
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This book is very practical, well organized and easy to understand.
eddie browder
They are fantastic books that were great to read together and I think they really helped us by helping us be better prepared for marriage.
Elite BodyWorks
Dr. Harley gives principles for guiding a marriage into harmony and explains how to use these principles to feed or deprive love.
Da_Bad_Cop

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

22 of 23 people found the following review helpful By Da_Bad_Cop on May 25, 2008
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
I bought this book years ago and have given it away ever since. The update version is even better and is IMHO one of the best marriage books out there. In fact you can not go wrong with any of Dr. Harley's books but a must to have are His Needs Her Needs and Love Busters. Dr. Harley gives principles for guiding a marriage into harmony and explains how to use these principles to feed or deprive love. He moves on to explain how to use the same principle to address and rectify almost every issue you'll ever face together by showing the most common injuries that hurt your mate. I've read hundreds of marriage books and this by far beats 99% of them.
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13 of 14 people found the following review helpful By Rebecca of Amazon HALL OF FAMETOP 500 REVIEWERVINE VOICE on September 28, 2009
Format: Hardcover
"If you want to be in love with each other, you should place far more importance on mutual enjoyment than on trying to follow through on commitments that cause one of you to suffer." ~ pg. 214

Staying married can at times be very difficult in our modern age. You may feel like throwing your hands up and taking the easier route: divorce. If divorce is however not a feasible option for you then "Love Busters" may have a lot to offer.

Willard F. Harley, Jr. explains the dynamics at work in the typical relationship. He explains how our internal "taker" or "giver" encourages a variety of positive and negative behaviors. Throughout the book he gives real-life examples from his own practice. These are very revealing and help to paint a portrait of a successful or unsuccessful relationship.

Some of the topics in this book include a serious discussion about radical honesty, a revealing look at annoying habits and an extremely helpful look at financial conflicts.

Whether you are constantly arguing with your partner or you are in a new relationship that you hope will be successful, this book has a lot of good advice. I would especially recommend this book to newlyweds who want to beat the odds and stay married. You can either learn everything in this book from personal experience (the hard way) or you can use the wisdom in this book to build a very strong relationship.

~The Rebecca Review
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12 of 13 people found the following review helpful By Victoria K. Moffet on December 17, 2008
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
A wonderful book, full of insight and guidance. It really helps you see both your partner's conduct, and your own, from a different perspective - one unencumbered by emotions and baggage. You begin to understand the reasons why we act and react the way we do, and why things bother us so much - for example, why we can easily disregard an offhanded remark from a colleague, but rip up our loved one for the same thing. Contains helpful strategies for identifying, and hopefully changing, patterns of behavior (habits) that subtract loving feelings. Highly recommended.
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Format: Hardcover
Keep the romance going - that's the secret of long-lasting marriages. Now in a newly revised and expanded edition, "Love Busters: Protecting Your Marriage from Habits That Destroy Romantic Love" is a guide to keeping the spark alive in marriages by avoiding certain habits that drive wedges in between people, and starve the love that brought them together in the first place. Focusing on important matters such as the value of compromise, dealing with criticisms, managing one's temper, and the severe threats of lies or erratic behavior, "Love Busters" is an ideal read for any married couple. "Love Busters: Protecting Your Marriage from Habits That Destroy Romantic Love" is highly recommended for community library relationship collections.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By bktw on August 29, 2010
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
We were at a crisis point in our marriage and I randomly picked this up at the library. It resonated so much with both of us that I bought a copy from Amazon to have to refer to in the future. We are also seeing a very expensive therapist but this book may be one of the best investments we'll ever make for our marriage.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By JJJJ on August 13, 2010
Format: Hardcover
This book, really makes you think about love, and puts everything into perspective. It helps couples to realize that staying in love does take conscious effort. I plan on giving this book, and "His needs, Her needs" to every newlywed couple I know so that they don't "fall" out of love with each other. This book is totally worth the time it takes to read it!
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6 of 7 people found the following review helpful By Jaime Andrews on May 8, 2012
Format: Hardcover
Fundamentally, I take issue with the basic approach of this book. This book is oriented around one idea: that romance is the core of a marriage. You may not take issue with that. I do. Then, the author goes on to claim that the way to maintain romance is to meet one another's needs. Both spouses must be sure to clearly communicate their needs, and to listen to and understand, and then try to meet their spouses needs.

This "need-based" approach to marriage seems to me to be a bit suspect. I'm just not convinced that this kind of transaction -- no matter how emotional and well-intended -- is the core to loving.

I've always been more partial to the personal-responsibility approach, exemplified in The Couple's Survival Workbook by Olsen and Stephens. But if you simply want a book that teaches you about how to communicate your needs to your spouse, and how to understand and meet the needs of your spouse in turn, this book could be great for you. All I'm saying is that it doesn't meet its own claims. Expect somewhat less from it, though, and it could work out great for you.
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