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Love Is a Choice: The Definitive Book on Letting Go of Unhealthy Relationships [Kindle Edition]

Dr. Robert Hemfelt , Dr. Frank Minirth , Paul Meier M.D.
4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (32 customer reviews)

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Book Description

These bestselling doctors walk you through their ten proven stages to recovery from codependency that results from external circustances. Humans are susceptible to codependency because of our sinful tendency to use defense mechanisms to fool ourselves. In codependent relationships, deceitful games are played, and important Christian principles are often taken out of context and abused. God wants us to have healthy relationships with a balance between being dependent and independent. The doctors describe how the most effective means of overcoming codependent relationships is to establish or deepen a relationship with Christ Himself. They describe the causes of codependency, pointing out the factors that perpetuate it, and lead readers through their ten stages of recovery.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Frank Minirth, M.D., is founder of The Minirth Clinic and has authored or co-authored more than thirty books, including Happiness Is a Choice, and Worry-free Living.

Paul Meier, M.D. is a psychiatrist and founder of the national chain of Meier Clinics as well as best-selling author or co-author of more than eighty books. He holds five degrees in the fields of medicine, psychiatry, and theology. Happily married, he has six children and two grandchildren.

Product Details

  • File Size: 3224 KB
  • Print Length: 275 pages
  • Publisher: Thomas Nelson (April 8, 1991)
  • Language: English
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #766,520 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
47 of 48 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Changed my life! March 7, 2000
I can honestly say that this book changed my life. I first read a page of it during a boring sermon at church, at a time when my marriage was going downhill. It sucked me in so fast I couldn't put it down. It was a shocking experience to read my entire life story written by complete strangers <grin>. It has a very straightforward style, but I think it's also easy enough reading that a teenager could understand it. The mix of psychology and scripture was exactly what I needed, and I don't know if I could have accomplished effective healing without it. The book is effective alone or in a group setting. My church even used it in place of a Sabbath School class: While everyone else was in groups studying Daniel and Revelation, I was in a group studying codependancy from a biblical perspective. I would also recommend this book to pastors looking to meet the emotional needs of their congregation.
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36 of 37 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars This book started the upswing! January 7, 2000
By A Customer
After finally realizing that I was this thing called "codependent," I began to read all the well known titles so that I could be "codependent no more." They were helpful in that they oriented me to this new concept and defined it...gave me something to think about. Then one day five years ago I happened on "Love is a Choice." I read it voraciously! I put it inside other books as I sat through classes in nursing school. I underlined, I highlighted, I read passages over and over that set fire alarms off in my head! I came to Amazon to see if I could still buy it because I have physically worn mine out. This book was life changing, and gave me a foundation to make profound progress in my recovery. Now I go back and read my journal from years ago and can't believe I was ever that person.
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14 of 14 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Love Is A Choice November 21, 2003
By A Customer
No matter where you are in your walk in life, no matter what your relationships with others is like, you will derive value in reading this book. A few pages may be challenging, but don't stop reading. The book is a good foundation for starting, repairing or building relationships at home, at work or wherever you interact with people. It is introspective, uplifing and perfect for a quiet weekend alone.
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16 of 19 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars a life changing book September 27, 1999
By A Customer
I consider this book one of the best books I have ever read. It really helped me see how I was hurting myself by being caught up in the patterns of my family.It really helped me understand what a relationship wtih Christ was about. I also recommend "Boundaries" I have given a number of copies of this book away.
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6 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Great book! March 22, 1997
By A Customer
In this book, several factors are discussed that lead to codependent relationships,including several kinds of subtle, unintentional abuse. Case studies are usedto illustrate concepts, and the reader is guided gently in understanding how troubled relationships form and what can be done about them.
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5 of 6 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars See how things really are March 28, 2009
I read this book about ten years ago after a terrible break-up. The scales were pealed from my eyes.

This book really did help me break bad behavior and thinking patterns that doomed me to unhappiness. I only read the book once, but that was all it took. I was permanently changed for the better.

Do you pine over lost loves or look for some type of sign to see if you should persue them because it may be "meant to be" and they may be "the one"? Well, stop it! That kind of behavior will ruin your life. Quit locking yourself away in your room listening to crappy sad music and buy this book.

Spoiler alert: There are many "ones" out there, so don't sweat it. Good luck and God be with you.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Life changing book June 2, 2011
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I read this book in 1996 and went through it slowly and thoughtfully. I had picked it up in a drug store and thought it was about being in love. It was much more than that in a little pocket paper back! What a deep surprise! The case studies revealed traits of people that we all know and will probably recognize as we read through the scenarios, as well as traits we might have. I have bought multiple copies and given them to friends, family, and people who I thought were struggling with internal issues. All who have read it have benefited enormously and thanked me. I have managed to misplace my copy (or gave it away) and am thrilled that I can get it again.

I think the big take away from this book is too be able to see what behaviors and avoidance actions we do and the negative impact it has in our lives and our decision making process. Then by being aware of them as we proceed through life, as we are confronted with new decisions, situations and choices moving forward, we have the consciousness of the patterns and insights revealed in the book. Then if we are honest with ourselves, brutally honest, that insight into ourselves and motivations will allow us to make the right decisions. I love this book, and recommend it to anyone who feels they have "knots to untangle" in their soul or psyche. A truly enlightening and insightful book. It changed my life, by adding such insight. God bless.
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16 of 23 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Don't be fooled by the children January 7, 2003
who threw a tantrum because this book included Christian principles and therefore gave it only one star. It's very easy to read and makes VERY CLEAR points. You can not read this book and fail to understand codependency (which most of us suffer to some small degree) and the solutions. If you don't agree with a few small points, don't whine and just skip them. Excellent, excellent book.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars How to stop sabotaging your own relationships.
The doctors share simple, precious, pertinent stories of their own clients to help bring life and context to the concepts. Read more
Published 25 days ago by Rochelle Hjersman
2.0 out of 5 stars Would have paid more for a better kept book
Fast delivery, book had musty smell. Top pages of book were brown. Perhaps had been in storage.
Published 4 months ago by PMC
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Excellent materials.
Published 4 months ago by Marian Rogers
4.0 out of 5 stars Author is very clear about "triggers" that draw you to a person and...
A very good read and thought provoking. Author is very clear about "triggers" that draw you to a person and keeps you stuck there...
Published 8 months ago by VEvil
2.0 out of 5 stars It was a disappointment.
It was the right item, but not new as advertised, much smaller with yellow faded pages. I also realized the price of the book is the same as I paid. Read more
Published 10 months ago by Yolanda Thomas
5.0 out of 5 stars Love is a Choice for interpersonal relationship help
We have bought and given around 30 of these books away as gifts over the years!

Without the information and application of the information in the book one has no better... Read more
Published 11 months ago by Lisa Cooper
5.0 out of 5 stars Good book.
Good book. I read it through once and I plan on doing it again and working through it. It helped me to realize why I have done certain things through my life and now I can work on... Read more
Published 13 months ago by shelly stasel
5.0 out of 5 stars Response rating on Love Is A Choice
The bookcame quickly and in excellent condition. Thank you for the packaging I look forward to doing bu'ness with you againg. God Bless you and yours.
Published 16 months ago by Lianne Hill
1.0 out of 5 stars It was great
It was a really good book for a co-dependant to read. I would totally recommend it to anyone who needs help
Published 20 months ago by Tammy Parkinson
5.0 out of 5 stars for everyone
This book helped me find myself. It helped me understand others. It helped me be more self confident. It helped me become a happy person again.
Published 21 months ago by grandaddy
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