Customer Reviews

Love & Death: My Journey through the Valley of the Shadow (Complete Works of Forrest Church)

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If you are a person who reads the obituaries then this book is for you! And not because you have a morbid fascination with death, but most likely as a result of your interest in life. How long did they live? What did they accomplish? How did it end? Was it too soon?

This book is about living, or as Rev. Church says, "To live in such a way that our lives will prove worth dying for."

Having Church as a spiritual guide is not unlike going on field trip with Mark Twain, with observations such as "A proportional relationship exists between the fear of death and the fear of life" seamlessly sharing space with his great-grandfather's three major food groups (tobacco, baked beans and whiskey). When people tell him proudly that they don't believe in God, he likes to ask them to tell him a little about the God they don't believe in, for he probably doesn't believe in him either. Church has a deft touch whether he's talking about Princess Diana, civilization versus anarchy, sad movies, or Plato.

Longtime leading light in the world of Unitarian Universalism, Rev. Church has picked up his pen to tackle many subjects including the Founding Fathers, the Jefferson Bible, freedom from fear, and liberalism versus fundamentalism, but this journey of the mind, body and soul proves his best and most provocative. Though Church of course says it better: "Life is filled with danger. That's just the way it is. Finally, the Titanic always hits the iceberg. Hence this simple, if imprudent, bit of advice: Before it does, pick up the phone. Pick up the gauntlet. Do whatever it takes. Take a few chances. Dare to live before you die."

And I might add, Dare to read this book!

Forrest Church's poignant observations on Love and Death have long been important to my understanding of what life, love, and death are all about. This book provides very meaningful clarity on the subject of love and death possibly because he wrote it within weeks after having been diagnosed with terminal cancer. It is a must read for people who are interested in living a life worth dying for as Forrest has long encouraged.
Tom Reece

This is a MUST READ for anyone fearing their own death (and who doesn't?) or dealing with the death of a loved one. Written by a Unitarian Universalist minister dealing with his own impending demise, Forrest Church (son of the late Senator Frank Church of Utah) encourages us to appreciate the fact that we are very blessed to be alive at all, given the amazing series of events leading to our births.

Rev. Church acknowledges that, while he doesn't know what - if anything - awaits us after the death of our bodies, he is grateful to be able to simply wonder about it. His writings are drawn from his previous books and many sermons addressing this subject, along with the introspective thoughts arising from his recent diagnosis of terminal cancer. Most importantly, he reminds us that the love that we give and receive in this life is immortal.

He urges us to subscribe the following mantra:

Want what you have
Do what you can
Be who you are

Part I of this short but immensely powerful and provocative book is an autobiographical review of the author's experiences with the death of others, (that each of us can readily identify with in our own personal way) e.g. when as a young boy his 95-year old great- grandfather's dying is "the most natural thing in the world" while a little over a decade later, a roommate's sudden death from pneumonia shocks and enrages him, providing a "turning point in my life." Then, he brings insight to how he "became a minister in a meaningful way" when he conducted his first funeral, or was at the bedside of a dying parishioner, or called to be with people "at times of loss." The death of his father, Senator Frank Church, is a critical turning point as "he taught us how to die ... and, he taught us how to live." Part I ends with his responsibilities as a New York City religious leader in the aftermath of 9/11.

Part II begins with his October 2006 diagnosis of terminal cancer. This section collects the wisdom of all the learning and experience of his years of ministry to focus upon on Life and its meaning, and the "hinges of birth and death." It is marked by an honesty and an ease of expression that takes deep, powerful ideas and makes them readily accessible through felicitous metaphor and a mantra that you will never forget. (It also has the practical gift of an essay on "how to behave" when one is making a hospital visit.) This is a book about death that is filled to the overflowing with life, love and wit.

It is the gift of a lifetime.

This book is more about love and life than it is about dying and death. I finished it in two days, and will begin to read it again, more slowly to absorb its wisdom. I have just bought multiple copies to share with people I love. Let Rev. Church guide you in all of our journeys.

I'm not interested in books about religion but this is a work of great philosophy, successfully tackling the age old questions of Why are we here? What do we do? And What happens when we die. A wise and witty must read for the curious life traveler.

This book by Dr. Church was very inspiring and encouraging. We meet persons who express various views concerning death at different stages of their dying process. Each one speaks according to his or her situation. This book can be a vital source of help to those who experience difficulty in dealing with death.

very thoughtful and deeply authentic book - - straight from the heart of a kind and caring man facing our shared great mystery of the eternal "what next"
This book feels like a gift from a wise man who wants to help as much as he can--if you hear :0) THANK YOU

As with virtually anything in life, our focus and interests are based on our immediate experiences. At this point, taking a deeper look at my own life purpose has come to the forefront due to my father's recent transition from this life.

As I have explored various authors' works I find it most amazing the many philosophies and beliefs regarding what is most important to live a fulfilled life.

Out of the dozens of books and articles I have read, the following statement deeply resonates with me; "The goal of life is to live in such a way that our lives will prove worth dying for," writes Reverend Forrest Church.

One of the recommendations from Reverend Church is to want what you have, appreciate each and every moment we are alive and live without the regret of, "if only". If only I would have ..... If only I didn't .... In only....

He goes on to say that often we realize only after something is taken from us how valuable it is; whether it be our health, a loved one or a job.

Reverend Church speaks not only from the over three decades as a minister whose main message is love and death, but also from the perspective of a man who was diagnosed with incurable cancer being given only months to live. It was in the diagnosis he was able to understand fully if all he professed to be true really was.

In reading his book, Love and Death, My Journey -Through the Valley of the Shadow, Reverend Church shares a level of wisdom so intensely simple, yet immensely profound.

The further I delved into the wisdom in this short and very easy to read book, the more I fully recognize the greatest gift we can give to ourselves and others is to live with such a deep level of congruency with what we claim to be true, what we speak of as truth and what we know to be true.

It is one thing to say we believe something to be true and something else to live in such a way that our life is an example of this truth. As you look at your own beliefs, philosophies and faith do your words match your thoughts and your actions? If not, is now not the most important moment to begin to live your truth recognizing today may in fact be the only day left to do so?

When I ordered this book I wasn't aware that the author was a Universalist minister, which means he doesn't take the evangelical stand on the Bible being the final word, and quotes other religious scriptures, such as Buddhism. He doesn't believe "God's pulling all the strings."

I disagree with him here, but there were wonderful insights in this book. The author is dealing with a cancer diagnosis that will ultimetly end his life. Thus, the book is about dying and death. "When a loved one dies, the greter the pain, the greater love's proof. Such grief is a sacrament. Sacraments bring us together. The measure of our grief testifies to the power of our love."

Two months ago I lost my niece and this statement was comforting to me.
He talks about the universal truth that everyone suffers, and that the shares are not allotted evenly.

In conclusion he didn't feel he could pray for himself for healing, nor did he feel for sure there was a heaven, which I thought rather sad for a minister who spent 30 years in the service of our Lord. But, I would totally recommend reading this book even if you have theology differences; there is still rich meaning in this author's book and something for everyone.

Want what you have
Do what you can
Be who you are