Customer Reviews

Love, Ellen: A Mother/Daughter Journey

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I'm a gay male who purchased a copy of Betty's book for my own reading. By the time I was done, I bought two more copies - one for my parents and another for my sister. I realized that they might benefit from a book written from "their" point of view.

It's so important that messages like Betty's get out to the world. Not just the gay and lesbian world, but the world in general. Simply put - "Love one another."

I can only hope and wish that Oprah or some other high-profile media outlet picks up a copy and gives this book the promotion it deserves.

Isn't it funny how when kids are growing up, we tell them all just how special they are.... And then when they go and show just how special they are - what our responses can be.

Thank you Betty, for writing a book from your heart and soul. Nothing like this could be easy, and I thank you again for telling such a personal story so that it might benefit others.

As I read the book, 'Love, Ellen,' which was written by Ellen Degeneres' mother, Betty, the words stirred memories deep inside of me. I first laughed. I then cried. I was unquestionably moved.

Like Betty, my mother was brought up in the same generation and in a family with conservative values. Issue were not addressed. The 'G' and 'L' words were unspoken and closeted. It was the 'don't ask, don't tell policy,' where your secrets and feelings were stored in your inner vault.

Throughout 'Love, Ellen,' Betty leads the reader on a journey from a mother's perspective seemingly through the stages of grief, ranging from denial: 'Even as I tried to understand, I was in a state of denial. `But Ellen, boys have always liked you, and you're so popular. You just need to meet the right one.''

...to anger: ''..Are you sure?' The question hung in the air. It sounded judgmental. I softened it, saying, `I mean, couldn't this just be a phase?''

...to bargaining: 'I understand that my disappointment was not for Ellen. It was for me. I was the one whose marriages hadn't worked out according to expectations. Why on earth should she have to fulfill my dreams? Why not love her and support her as she fulfilled her own?'

...to depression: '...Ellen never had an engagement picture in my hometown paper...I had always fantasized about seeing Ellen's picture there and about her marrying some fine man about myself as being the proud mother of the bride...I felt as if a dream had been shattered.'

...through the acceptance stage: 'Like most parents, I went through a process. It took me time to think about this, to sort out what was important, to get past my terrible ignorance and learn about homosexuality. Though somewhat familiar with the myths and fallacies that are all two common, I need to learn the facts. Two of the most important facts I would learn were, first of all, that as a rule people don't choose to be homosexual; and second, that being gay is normal and healthy. But embracing these truths would take time.'

I enjoyed 'Love, Ellen so much that I gave my mother a copy for Mother's Day with the inscription: 'I don't want you to blame yourself for my sexual orientation. It's not your fault. It's not my fault. I want you to accept it because you love me... because I want you to be part of my life and I'm your daughter. And I believe `One of the nicest things about being mother and daughter is that one day you discover you've turned into friends.''

Julie L. Shaffer was homegrown in Fort Wayne, Indiana, and she has been recently transplanted in Seattle via a John Deere tractor. Apparently, Julie has a collection of wonderful implements. That's farm implements, you know.

Coming out to anybody is never easy. For me, and thousands of other gay women (and men), coming out to my parents proved to be something which weighed constantly on my already burdened mind. I constantly ran through in my head, the conversation in which I would tell them...It always came down to the same thing: "I can't do it..". There are no handbooks on how to tell somebody something like this, because everybody's situations are different, and of course, a person's reactions to such news cannot always be judged. I was worried about how my parents would react, what they would say...Then A friend recommended this book. I was sceptical..how could a book make any difference to me? It did. Betty Degeneres's approach to writing about her experience is warm, honest, humourous and uplifting. After I'd finished the book, I felt confident that my I could tell my parents. Betty's reaction when she was first told, and her actions following that moment which changed her life were written about, perhaps as some form of self therapy or acceptance. Reading her thoughts and feelings enabled me personally to rid myself of the demons in my mind which scared me into thinking my mother and father would dis-own me. I guess my point is (and i do have one!) that reading about this from a mother's point of view certainly put things in perspective for me. It was, in short, invaluable. All mother/daughter relationships are different, some of us may be close, some of us may not. My mother and I both became closer after I'd told her I'm gay, something which I'm sure I would've remained being to scared to do - but for reading Betty Degeneres's book. I got the message that A mother's love takes alot to budge, which at that time, was something I desperatly needed to be reassured of. I'd be interested to hear from others in my situation, and whether reading this book helped them as it helped me. Charlybaltimore2@yahoo.com *Feel free to mail me.

What is it like to have a child who is gay? In this book, Betty DeGeneres describes the moment that her daughter Ellen came out to her and admitted the secret which she kept from her mother for 20 years. After learning that her daughter was gay, Betty herself was forced to keep this secret for 20 more years, before Ellen came out to the world. This is a book about a mother's unconditional love for her daughter and about how her daughter's sexual orientation caused a complete change in her life. It is also about Ellen's family and how she went from being a sweet, funny little girl from New Orleans to being one of the top actess/comediennes of our times. It is also about how mother and daughter went from keeping Ellen's homosexuality a secret to how they became activists in the gay/lesbian movement. Throughout the book, the loving and positive spirit of both Ellen and Betty become very evident.

This is the book I've been wishing Ellen herself would write!!! Ellen's mom tells pretty much the whole story here! But it's far from an E! True Hollywood Story type EXPOSE. Its a warm, human, family story that makes you laugh and cry! Betty tells not only Ellen's life story but her own and her son's and her sisters' and basically the entire family is touched on here. And it really is a beautifully written very real story. Betty is most definately a gifted writer. If you're an Ellen fan this book is definately for you. But you really don't have to be to enjoy the wonderful collection of personal stories that Betty shares. They could be stories from anyone's family, not just a celebrity's. I think that was the best thing about this book: where other celebrity biographies are usually sensationalistic and extraordinary this book humanizes Ellen and her family and her story.

As a devoted fan of the Ellen show in the past, I loved this book for all of it's depth and meaning. Betty Degeneres tells of how it was first hard for her to accept Ellen as being gay, and then having to find a way to acceptance.

Betty DeGeneres tells in the book, about the media's scrutiny of their family life, and other stories which are inspiring, that she's heard on the road as the first nongay spokesperson for the Human Rights Campaign.

It is also quite a story about their own family life. A very good read for anyone concerned about their child's sexual orientation, the coming out process, and reaching love and accptance.

Motherhood challenges all of us. It can be the most frustrating, exhilirating, terrifying and powerful experience any woman can undergo. Betty DeGeneres brings her experience of sharing the journey of her daughter, Ellen, to new heights with her positive, uplifting style. Regardless of the challenges we meet along the way, all mothers can learn from the humility, courage and openness of Betty DeGeneres to take what is given to us in this life and make the most of it. All relationships are hard work, and all are learning experiences. Betty Degeneres teaches well what she has learned. May we all learn so much from our children, and be so blessed.

Ellen's mom is candid and self effacing; her story is well told and insightful. Makes a great gift for any supportive parent, or a parent who needs to learn tolerance.

This book was an excellent source of encouragement and education for those who are gay and their family members. Betty Degeneres looks at sexuality and the issues that it brings in society today. She speaks of her journey after finding out her daughter Ellen is gay and the acceptance and closeness that came along afterwards through the years. This book is excellent reading for anyone with gay family members or friends, and for those of us who are still struggling with our own sexuality. I loved this book! Thank you Betty!

As a straight man who had to come to terms with having a gay family member, I could really relate to DeGeneres' description of going through a process of acceptance that didn't happen overnight. This is a book I will buy for other family members who haven't gotten to that place yet. I also enjoyed reading about the development of Ellen's career from a parent's point of view. The book is hard to put down -- funny, uplifting, moving -- with a message about tolerance I hope to pass on to my young son.