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I Love Female Orgasm: An Extraordinary Orgasm Guide

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Book Review

I *Heart* Female Orgasm
By Dorian Solot and Marshall Miller

Reviewed by Shannon Pringle for Venus Envy

The cover seduced me. On a simple white background were three black words and one red heart presented with such simple enthusiasm that I was smitten at first sight. The title of the book read I Love Female Orgasm and I thought to myself, "Me too!" I am sure others will agree that this 3-15 seconds of unparalleled rapture is worthy of such a bold declaration.

I Love Female Orgasm: An Extraordinary Orgasm Guide is a fun, refreshing, demystifying and inclusive tour through the world of the female-bodied orgasm. Whether you are looking to have your first orgasm, are not sure if you have ever had an orgasm, are an orgasm connoisseur, or are a partner wanting to know more about women's orgasm, this book contains a wealth of information for you. There are a number of female orgasm books on the market, but this one captured my interest, beyond its frisky title, for its attempt to be inclusive, in its approach and use of language, of people of diverse genders and sexual orientations. There is just so much knowledge to be gained from people who experience their bodies and desires differently from what you may be accustomed to, and I Love Female Orgasm underlines the similarities in the human sexual experience rather than the differences.

There are always new things to learn, myths to deconstruct, and shame to squelch surrounding women's sexuality, and Solot and Miller take on this challenge. They have included chapters on the psychology and physiology of orgasms, masturbation, cunnilingus, intercourse, the g-spot and female ejaculation, sex toys, men and female orgasm, queer orgasms, [...] play, and safer sex and birth control. Their thoroughness has left me somewhat daunted in how to approach this review, so I am going to write about what I love and learned from I Love Female Orgasm.

I loved learning, in the chapter "The Lowdown on the Big O," that the plateau phase of the female sexual response cycle can sometimes last for what seems like an inordinately long time, but usually, if the arousing stimulation continues, an orgasm can be reached. So for those out there who feel that taking a long time to come somehow means that they are defective, well it just isn't so. Solot's and Miller's section "Eight Lies You May Have Heard About Masturbation" is a refreshing reminder about how persistent these myths are in our culture, despite the advances of sex-positive feminism. And I Love Female Orgasm contains lots of tips on how to masturbate to orgasm for those who are new to it and for those wanting to change up an old routine.

The chapter "Going Down, Down Baby: Oral Sex and Female Orgasm" is great for anyone going down on anyone with a clitoris, especially if you learned about performing oral sex by watching mainstream porn. Mainstream porn, its sexual techniques and angles, are designed to turn on the viewer, not the participants, which makes it a poor example of how to actually get off. For anyone who fears that they don't measure up to today's porn stars, I recommend the "Porn Alert" section for a reminder on what an artificially created and surgically enhanced world it is.

I also appreciated the reminder that although a person may have a sex partner they are still responsible for their own orgasm. This is Slott's and Miller's take-home point from the chapter on intercourse. It's not fair to put the burden of responsibility for your sexual pleasure on your partner, nor to blame them if you don't come. Penetrative intercourse, whether it is with a biological penis or a silicone dildo, is not physically well designed to produce female-bodied orgasms easily. Only 30 percent of female-bodied people will orgasm from intercourse alone; most will need to have some kind of clitoral stimulation to come. This fact of life does not reflect poorly on the receptive partner, the penetrative partner, nor diminish the intimacy of the act, though we have been culturally lead to believe otherwise.

I was delighted to see the two Venus Envy stores mentioned in the chapter of "Vibrators, Toys and Piercings, Oh My!" as part of a handful of North American, women-orientated, educationally based sex shops. The chapter also has some good ideas for including sex toys in partnered sex. Solot and Miller wrap up I Love Female Orgasm with some tips for being a great lover: there's a chapter titled "Let's Here It For The Boys" that is written largely for biological males who have been socialized as males and a great chapter called "Coming with Pride" which includes lesbian sex advice and information about orgasms for transgendered and intersexed folks. I was so pleased to see this last section as it is the first time I have seen this topic in a mainstream sex guide! I Love Female Orgasm was a great read, and many times it made me want to have an orgasm, give someone and orgasm, and buy the tee-shirt!

I actually picked up this book not because I was interested in what
it had to say (I thought the book was going to be a joke), but
because the title of the book made me laugh. I flipped through a few
pages and decided that I definitely wanted to read some more into it.
I sat down in a chair with my girlfriend and without even realizing
it, read all of the first chapter. I have to say, I learned more from
the first chapter of your book than I have from all of the books and
websites and references on sexuality that I have ever seen in my
life. I told my girlfriend that I HAD to have the book, so she bought
it for me. I read the entire book over the weekend. I made so many
footnotes, bookmarks, and had so many highlighted passages that it
looked like my college textbooks. I have since shared the books with
my family, friends, and girlfriend, all of whom have loved it. Not
only has it increased my sexual awareness by about a bazillion, it
has also brought my sex life to a whole new level.

For women and (especially) men on the quest to better their sex lives, this is the book. On a spree (and after a few hours of research), I bought this along with some Betty Dodson books and Rubel's "Squirms, Screams and Squirts," and I have to say: this was the best--for couples AND singles. I recommend ALL of these books, but if you're on a budget, start here. GENTLEMEN, START HERE: This book has the most detailed information on the G-spot I have found as of yet, and (aside from the aid of your partner) is probably the most likely candidate to help you find it.

Dodson seems to cover more of the psychological side (i.e. getting over inhibitions, etc. to better enjoy your own sexuality), and Rubel's was more of a specific "how-to" book (great for ideas, not always medically accurate); Solot and Miller's was a nice mix between the two, medically accurate and laid out in a very reader-oriented style. No slogging through 30-page, under- or over-detailed chapters in novel-sized print.

Happy reading.

An excellent resource for both men and women! Well-written and very readable, this book is a very modern and comprehensive reference on female sexuality. It is open and nonjudgmental while providing a plethora of solid information in a very conversational, non-threatening format that also manages to not be terribly overwhelming. I've recommended it to several of my patients who have all come back with nothing but lavish praise.

I particularly recommend this book in conjunction with The Survivor's Guide to Sex: How to Have an Empowered Sex Life After Child Sexual Abuse for women who are healing from childhood sexual abuse or assault.

I just received my order of "I <3 Female Orgasm" today, and have been engrossed ever since. The amount of information found in the approximately 300 page book is incredible, as well as incredibly well written. I love the way that when the authors sometimes refer to a certain concept, they will also tell you the page number to get more detail about that concept. They also frequently recommend other books for more information. I also enjoy the wonderful anecdotes and little quotes that are constantly interspersed within the book. I frequently laughed aloud while reading some of the stories. ^_^

This book is an all inclusive book about female sex, not just female orgasm, and is helpful on many levels. If you are the least bit interested in females and sex put together, I definitely recommend this book for you to read and enjoy.

Apparently Solot and Miller are well-known for their tours on the college lecture circuit, but there's NO WAY this book is just for teens and young adults. In addition to their valuable, insightful and extensive review of sex studies and literature--which would be of interest to anyone who, um, has sex---the authors offer tons of fun sexual suggestions for anyone at any stage of experience.

And their suggestions work!!!

I completely loved this book...The fun, conversational tone, personal anecdotes from the authors (who are a real-life couple), inclusiveness to people of all tastes and persuasions, and, again, suggestions that truly work, make it a very valuable and entertaining read. It is also the exactly right size and length--not so comprehenive as to be awkward to hold or a chore to read, not so short that the fun ends too soon. I will definitely keep this book handy and refer to it again and again.

My son attended an event at Ohio State called Female Orgasm and could not stop talking about it. It was an extremely popular, informative sex program with an easy going, humorous bent to it. He got a lot out of it particularly that it revolved around women and it changed his way of treating women and relating about sex. It was so noticeable to me that I asked him about it and he recommended the book, I Love Female Orgasm.

I completely devoured this book in 2 days. I could see why it is so well received. The authors, Dorian Solot and Marshall Miller, are a stimulating combination of knowledgeable and amusing. The book covers all possible sexual topics such as safe sex, masturbation ("petting the bunny"), all types of info on the clitoris and of course, female orgasm, something you just don't hear very much about. My favorite chapter was, Let's Hear it for the Boys: Men and Female orgasm. It is all great information, things I wish I knew about when I was my son's age. I found it appropriately geared toward the young adult age group.

Having said this, I Love Female Orgasm definitely whets my appetite for more information on female orgasm. I scoured the internet. Anyone out there in the same boat, whom enjoyed the book and yet want to know tangible, researched technique of giving a woman an orgasm (every time, no less!) do not hesitate to check out the Welcomed Consensus online for great information, I also bought their DVDs here on amazon, especially Orgasm at the First Touch. Their information about Deliberate Orgasm is what I have always wanted to know but never knew what to even look for. I tried their DOing method with my wife and our sex life has never been better! And we have been married 26 years. I salute Dorian and Marshall...through their great book I also found The Welcomed Consensus.

I had heard a lot about this book (all of it good) from friends and decided to order it myself. I enjoyed it, and am now adding my praise to the rest. It's very informative, but also easy to read and humorous. There are pictures and diagrams explaining different things throughout the chapters, and it even gives insight from people other than the authors. I'll be purchasing this as a gift for the upcoming brides I know!

Absolutely great book, for anybody with an interest in human sexuality (personal or partner's). Written in straightforward (and often hilarious) language, the information provided is valuable for every woman.. and everybody who loves one.

Thank you for writing it!

... you'll LOVE this book! It's an honest, informative, and often funny guide to the female orgasm, and sexuality in general. Dorian Solot, Marshal Miller, and the thousands of women and men they have surveyed and worked with, provide personal anecdotes throughout the book, which serve as comfortingly real answers to the 'questions you always wanted to ask' as well as the ones you didn't even realize you had! The book is very inclusive of all genders, body types and sexual orientations.