If Love Is a Game, These Are the Rules: 10 Rules for Finding Love and Creating Long-Lasting, Authentic Relationships [Hardcover]

Cherie Carter-Scott (Author)

Book Description

Release date: October 12, 1999

Do you wish you knew the rules for the game of love?

In her #1 New York Times bestseller If Life Is a Game, These Are the Rules, Chérie Carter-Scott gave us ten rules for conquering life's challenges and managing its unpredictable ups and downs. Now, in If Love Is a Game, These Are the Rules, she presents ten simple rules to help us find true love and create long-lasting, authentic relationships.

After twenty-five years of conducting workshops and seminars, Chérie has discovered that the most important--and often the most difficult--part of the human experience is partnership. Everyone is either looking for love or trying to find a way to sustain and feed the love that they already have. Chérie's ten rules are universal truths that we inherently know but often lose sight of in the confusing game of romance--rules as simple as "You Must Love Yourself First," "Communication Is Essential," and "You Must Nurture the Relationship for It to Thrive." Once understood and embraced, her rules help us learn more about our true selves and our needs--and make us better able to meet the needs of others.

As the ten rules show, building and sustaining authentic love is a delicate process that requires negotiation and communication, and while love is often challenged by change, it provides a variety of opportunities for us to grow as individuals. In her inimitably warm and inviting style, Chérie shares her own insights into love's  journey, from building intimacy and taking the risk of commitment to rekindling the faded flame by bringing back the "sizzle factor." Her inspirational stories, coupled with practical exercises--such as creating a criteria list for a potential mate or making an outline for a formal relationship "check-in"--will bring out the authentic lover in each of us. Fresh and inspiring, If Love Is a Game, These Are the Rules is a perfect guide to living a real-life "happily ever after".

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

"Authentic love thrives on honesty and shimmers with truth ... [it] flexes and bends with the fluctuating needs and changes of each partner." Whether you're looking for a relationship or seeking to improve the one you're in, If Love Is a Game, These Are the Rules packs a wallop. Author Cherie Carter-Scott has figured out what makes relationships work--and fail--and she doles out insightful advice. Carter-Scott follows the same format as her successful If Life Is a Game, These Are the Rules; she presents the 10 rules and expands each in its own chapter, with plenty of anecdotes to clarify how these rules play out. The 10 rules may seem obvious at first glance (e.g., "Negotiation will be required" and "Your relationship will be challenged by change"), but Carter-Scott keeps scoping out deeper and deeper levels and teaching practical exercises for using the information. For example, rule 3 is "Creating Love Is a Process." Sure, we know that. But she describes each step of the process--1, connection; 2, exploration; 3, evaluation; 4, building intimacy; 5, commitment--and presents an array of strategies for making the most of each one. Following Carter-Scott's rules can't help but improve your relationship--or the likelihood of finding the right one! --Joan Price

Review

Advance Praise for If Love Is a Game, These Are the Rules:

"A delightful primer on love. Chérie Carter-Scott offers readers an expanded awareness on authentic relationships that can make daily life more fulfilling."
--John Gray, author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

"We can never have too much love in the world. If Love Is a Game, These Are the Rules gives us the guidelines we need to create truly authentic unions that really do last. All relationships can benefit from these valuable tools."
--Jack Canfield, coauthor of Chicken Soup for the Soul

"Even though we spend our whole lives trying to make relationships work, no one has ever been given an operator's manual with the directions for how to successfully have one. If Love Is a Game, These Are the Rules is a wonderful guide that clearly sets out the directions we need for keeping relationships healthy and alive."
--Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., author of Getting the Love You Want and Keeping the Love You Find

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 272 pages
• Publisher: Crown Archetype; 1 edition (October 12, 1999)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0767904249
• ISBN-13: 978-0767904247
• Product Dimensions: 6.8 x 5.5 x 1.1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (23 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #314,141 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

New York Times No. 1 best-selling author Dr. Cherie Carter-Scott is an international author, corporate coach, entrepreneur, consultant, lecturer, teacher, trainer, talk-show host, and seminar leader. Her company, Motivation Management Service Institute Inc., has reached millions of people worldwide. She has promoted her books internationally, including more than 400 appearances on television and radio. Her highly successful books include If Love Is a Game, These Are the Rules; If Success Is a Game, These Are the Rules; If High School Is a Game, Here's How to Break the Rules; The Gift of Motherhood; and Negaholics. Dr. Cherie Carter-Scott is available for speeches and personal and corporate coaching and training. Her Web site is www.themms.com.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

35 of 36 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Love Potion # 8 April 26, 2000

By Truth is Out There

Format:Hardcover

At times, even the most successful people in business... can be failures at love. That's often because, once the web has been spun, the enchantment put in place, that spell we call "love" has been cast, people usually throw all cares to the wind in hope of finding something that is everlasting. In the follow-up book to her widely acclaimed title, "If Life is a Game, These are the Rules", Dr. Cherie Carter-Scott has identified some basic knowledge that can help a person find, create and maintain authentic, long-lasting relationships. Some of these truisms may seem familiar, but as is the case with her other titles, a reader is bound to find a gem of wisdom, or two that may change their perspective and impact their lives.

Like many other types of relationships, Dr. Carter identifies the element of 'excellent communication' as a necessary ingredient to success. Knowing what you want to communicate, 'releasing' the emotion surrounding the message you wish to convey, expressing your feelings without passing judgement, and choosing a right time and place are details that are commonly highlighted in this book. In fact, communication is a common denominator that is weaved throughout this title.

An interesting chapter is entitled 'Partnering is a Choice'. It seems simple enough, yet it is extremely powerful to understand that the choice to be in a meaningful relationship is up to you and you alone. Some people may have some kind of a mental block or fear. Fear of losing his/ her bachelorhood, fear of rejection, fear of not being good enough, fear of being hurt, fear that they'll end up divorced like their parents, fear... fear... fear. It is this fear that projects the kind of energy that attracts the wrong type of people, and it is up to each of us individually to recognize this process and redirect the course we are navigating. To find a soulmate, one must address their fears, accept and love themselves, and make a conscious decision to be receptive to a significant other.

Once you have found someone, the real work has just begun. The author spells out the importance of nurturing your relationship in Chapter 8, in what's, arguably, the best part of the sermon. As we know, many relationships lose their 'shine' or luster when both parties get so involved with their every day life that they lose the perspective of what brought them together in the first place. The author reminds us that relationships are like gardens... ever growing and requiring attention. We need to make a conscious decision to tend to our 'garden' on a daily basis. Try and have a daily check in, the author suggests. In fact, it is prescribed that couples should schedule a periodical relationship tune-up. This is a time when both parties can express how they feel about their relationship, their needs and wants. A time to basically just step outside and analyze what components of the relationship bring a couple happiness, and where they feel some areas may be somewhat deficient. This scheduled tune-up helps one avoid being in a relationship that just goes sour with the parties never knowing exactly where it all went wrong! Simple wisdom with profound effects. Mark it down... 3,000 miles... take the car in to have the oil changed and make time for a relationship tune-up... it's what the Doctor ordered.

12 of 12 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars MEN TAKE NOTE November 20, 2001

By Bob

Format:Hardcover

As a man, I am critical of some of the self-help books written by women. Invariably, I find elements that either misrepresent men's attitudes or totally ignore them. "If Love Is A Game, These Are The Rules," is a wonderful exception. Every man interested in learning how to find and maintain a long-lasting relationship should read this book. More importantly, it should be read, reread and discussed by both partners, as often as questions or issues arise in the relationship. Cherie Carter Scott doesn't mince words; examples are short and to the point; each chapter covers a major rule so it is easy to follow and return to for a refresher. Too many of us, men and women, have been too ignorant, too disinterested, too willing to enter relationships based upon the wrong assumptions and expectations. This book lights the path towards establishing relationships that can grow and withstand the changes time will inevitably bring. Good luck...

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Great book! Not boring at all... November 22, 2005

By Monika

Format:Hardcover

(Sorry, English is not my mother-tongue.)

This is a great relationship-book! You won't find boring advice that you need to be supportive to your partner, you need to cherish him / her as often you could... but straightly to the point, Cherie will tell you that you need to differentiate being supportive and controlling... etc.

Those things commonly happened in our relationships, and it's nice to have someone reminded us to be a better person for our beloved one. Worth to collect. Recommended for you who're still single, also for married couple.

I'm finished reading this book, but I still use this book as reference, when I feel my relationship start getting trouble. And however, it helps!