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Love for Grown-ups: The Garter Brides' Guide to Marrying for Life When You've Already Got a Life Paperback – July 19, 2011


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 240 pages
  • Publisher: Harlequin; Original edition (July 19, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0373892365
  • ISBN-13: 978-0373892365
  • Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.3 x 0.7 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (38 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,482,397 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Hot, candid, brilliant advice to the married-who-waited-a-bit."--Liz Smith
 
KIRKUS REVIEW
 "grown-up dating ...recognize and expressing what you want comes with age... practical guidance for dealing with partners that come with family and exes  Tips on moving in together, finances and weddings. ... it's never too late for love.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

It's a luscious experience, falling in love as a grown-up. You're wise to the relationship hazards that used to snag you, you know what's important in a partner and won't settle for anything less and you're ready to meet a man as an equal on every level, including horizontally!

And those are all good things.

We wrote this book just for you.

If you're single and wondering whether you'll ever find someone to love, if you're dating a special guy and not sure whether you should take your relationship to the next level or if you're on the fence about going after grown-up love with all the hope and passion in your heart, the Garter Brides say, "A thousand times yes!" We know, because we did it—and we're on a mission to show other women how.

The Garter Brides' Guide to Love for Grown-ups is a relationship book full of field-tested advice from us and from other women who found lasting love and happiness after our thirty-fifth birthdays had come… and gone. We're not psychologists or relationship experts, but honors graduates of the School of Relationship Hard Knocks: we've forged happy, successful, sexy, fun, grown-up marriages not when the storybooks predict, but when we and our husbands had histories, careers, furniture, sometimes children, ex-spouses and all kinds of responsibilities.

We knew there were lots of other women out there who had done what we did. We've sought them out, tapped into their insights about what works and what doesn't and want to share the tried-and-true wisdom of this special sisterhood with you.

What can we tell you about grown-up love? Between us and the many women we've interviewed, quite a lot. We won't insult your intelligence with babble about getting in touch with your inner beauty. Let's talk turkey: you're a hot babe with a busy life you'd love to share, a cozy bed into which you'd welcome a good man for some great sex and great fun, and a well-oiled BS detector you didn't possess in your twenties. You're mature enough to handle grown-up love, to move forward without looking back and to appreciate how great a gift that is.

Like you, we took some extra time to find our own true loves— and it was well worth the wait. But marrying later in life isn't as simple as finding Mr. Right, getting married and having a family. We know a lot of grown-up women whose relationships failed because they didn't know how to handle some of the situations they faced. We want to make sure that doesn't happen to you.

Who Are the Garter Brides (GBs)?

It all started, as many great adventures do, with girlfriends having dinner (i.e., drinks). Nina, Ann and Pat were business colleagues and longtime friends, all over the age of thirty-five. All had successful careers and were going on dates (approximately 9,000 of those by Pat alone, according to her), but none of them thought she'd get married.

But…

Six months later, Nina got married. Six months after that, Ann got married. Six months after that, Pat got married.

Nina said, "At my age you wear a garter, but you don't throw it." She slipped it off and gave it to Ann, who wore it at her wedding. Ann then gave it to Pat, who wore it at her wedding. They named themselves the Garter Brides—and a new tradition was born!

Today, this good-luck garter has been worn by girlfriends ranging in age from thirty-eight to fifty-seven, and it has traveled—in a FedEx box—all over the United States and even to that city of ultimate new-lywed bliss, Venice!

Everyone who's heard about the Garter Brides has been captivated by the story of how this little scrap of lingerie was part of so many happy endings—or shall we say beginnings? One of the many women who loved hearing the Garter Brides story was Tish Rabe, because she kept on believing in grown-up love when she found her own happy beginning: she married for the first time at thirty-six—to a man she'd known since high school! She encouraged Ann and Pat to share their stories, and thus the idea for The Garter Brides' Guide to Love for Grown-ups came to be.

From a Tiny Garter, a Sisterhood Grows

All of the Garter Brides have been questioned repeatedly about how they met their husbands and made new lives with the men they loved. How is a mature marriage different from when you get married in your twenties? Keep reading!

Where dating books leave off (although we talk about dating, too), the Garter Brides' book continues. We know that a grown-up woman's wedding is just the beginning of a rich, rewarding life— one she probably couldn't have handled when she was twenty-five. (As one woman we know says, "Thank God I met my mother-in-law when I was thirty-five—at twenty-two, she would have eaten me alive!")

We're writing this book on the best authority: our own life experiences and those of women we've interviewed around the world, from ages thirty-seven to eighty, who have applied their grown-up life experiences to forge happy, sex-filled marriages in all types of circumstances. We are producers, lawyers, actresses, teachers, masseuses, psychologists, yoga teachers, agents, writers, fashionistas, art critics, financial advisers, nurses, real estate brokers and even a dancer of the bump-and-grind variety!

Some of us are first-timers at marriage; for some it's husband number two and for others it's husband number three. Some became step-moms, first-time moms or stepgrandmoms and a number of the brides adopted children. We met our true loves in all sorts of ways—blind dates, parties, online dating, the commuter train, even while taking flying lessons. Our dream weddings ran the gamut from ultra-glam to super-casual; our households are filled with everything from antiques to running toddlers to crazy Jack Russell terriers. And we have great "here's how I did it" stories to share about moving in together, becoming a stepfamily, navigating finances and the art of joining two full and complex lives.

As a result, we have a unique handle on what it takes to make grown-up relationships work. We and our fellow brides are living proof that finding the right guy and making a wonderful marriage is possible at any stage of life. We've learned a lot, we're still learning (as Pat says, one great thing about being married is that there are plenty of do-over opportunities) and we're still laughing. It's this mix of real-life lessons and strategies for staying flexible and enjoying the humor along the way that we want to share with other grown-up brides and brides-to-be.

We know how woman-to-woman support—being able to turn to others who've been there—helped our own loves flourish. Grown-up life is both wonderful and complicated. Sometimes it may feel lonely when you're dealing with relationship challenges. What we've learned from connecting with so many women is that you are never alone. We've laughed and cried together as we've shared experiences and insights. We've become more convinced than ever of the importance of our mission to gather and share women's wisdom about this unique time in life. We've formed a sisterhood of women—all Garter Brides— who want to encourage all women to take a chance on grown-up love and have the life they always dreamed of.

What to Expect from This Book

If you're still looking for that special someone, we'll show you how to take a fresh approach to dating, stay open to the promise of grown-up love and have fun—whether the next date is Mr. Right or Mr. What-Was-I-Thinking?

If you've found the terrific guy you deserve, we'll share ideas for developing your relationship and combining two busy lives.

Grown-up love raises a lot of questions: Are one or both of you divorced, or widowed? Are exes in the picture—and just how pretty is that picture? What's the best way to welcome stepchildren and build these new relationships? Speaking of children, does anyone hear a biological clock ticking? What's important to know about living together before getting married—and should the new "we" live in your place or his? Who makes the move if it's a long-distance relationship? How should grown-up finances be handled?

To help you quickly pick up the take-home info, each chapter is organized by the key questions women commonly ask (or should). We reveal the issues and answers women need to keep in mind as they find true love and build a life together. We flesh out our ideas with anecdotes and examples from our experiences and those of other grown-up brides, all served with a double scoop of Garter Bride attitude. We've also created a website www.thegarterbrides.com where we offer additional up-to-the-minute tips and advice on real-life situations and you can visit us on Facebook and Twitter. On our site you'll also get to meet other Garter Brides who share their stories and you can share yours. We want to get to know you, too! We also invite you to ask us questions so we can help you in creating a new life with the man you love.

So get ready to meet The Garter Brides because for every woman seeking the love of her life or embarking on a special relationship, we are here to bring hope, help and hilarity.

Meet the GBs

Before we launch into our advice, you should get to know us better. The first things you need to know about us are that (1) we laugh a lot—especially at ourselves—and (2) although we have opinions about everything, we're far from perfect. Our lives are full of the usual stuff: work complications; kid crises; pesky relatives; missed deadlines; messy drawers; unruly hair; pounds gained, lost and regained; purchases we regret; girlfriends we can't live without.

One thing we all also have—which both delights and humbles us—is husbands who absolutely adore us, regardless of the aforementioned usual stuff. The wonder of being adored by a man for everythin...


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Customer Reviews

4.9 out of 5 stars
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Makes you feel hopeful about mature love!!!
Ro
I lent it to my cousin, who is in her 40s, and she just loved it.
Amazon Customer
It was a very easy read and I could relate to a lot of it.
Jeff

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Shawna on January 23, 2012
Format: Paperback
This informative and well-written book addresses all the concerns one might have when finding love later in life, and it does so with a much appreciated sense of humor. It takes readers through all the steps: From dating, learning how to integrate busy lives, and finally, how to combine families. All the advice was heartfelt and supplemented by interesting real-life stories from women who've 'been there & done that' successfully. I'm thankful that there are women like the Garter Brides who are willing to share their life lessons--I love this book!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Sarit on January 23, 2012
Format: Paperback
LOVE FOR GROWN-UPS is as hilarious as it is helpful! The Garter Brides talk about everything you need when breaking back into the dating world in the second half of life--finding Mr. Right and learning to keep him once you've got him. The book gives advice on meeting and building a relationship with your new beau's kids, blending families, learning to get along with the ex, moving in together, planning your wedding, and more. I highly recommend this book if you're looking for love! Also, The Garter Brides' Facebook page, (...), is a great resource. The authors answer any questions you have and constantly post helpful advice!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Pam on August 15, 2011
Format: Paperback
The Garter Brides have written a hilarious how-to-love-as-a-grown-up guide book. A must read for anyone even a bit tentative about getting back out there looking for love, again or for the first time.
I loved it.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Ali on August 15, 2011
Format: Paperback
Length: 3:16 Mins
This is a must read if your looking for a book to inspire you to find love when you're over 35! Loved reading "The Garter Brides" tips on everything from getting back out there in the dating scene to preparing to meet your boyfriend's kids. So enlightening and empowering!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By matt on August 12, 2011
Format: Paperback
This book was just what I was looking for! There is nothing on the market that spoke to my questions and concerns when addressing joining my family and my partners' This small witty book offered practical solutions and the advice was right on!
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Format: Paperback
I was very curious about this book even though I knew I wasn't the target audience. Love for Grown Ups is a self-help book for women still searching for their special one whether they have never been married or looking for love after divorce.

The first third of the book reminded me of motivational "You can do it!" message while the rest gave concrete bits of advice for women running into the maze that is dating and marriage. I love how the brides contrasted what they would have done in their twenties versus their thirties, though at times, I thought it came across as a bit condescending (but again, I'm not the target audience). The format was very easy to read with large titles, and boxes for specific tips. I was able to get through this in no time. Some of the advice touched on issues I had never considered and I think it would be useful in all marriages and relationships. My only critique is that the advice was over-simplistic at times and failed to discuss the hard issues/situations where it isn't so easy to follow the logical path.

Overall, I enjoyed this read and think it would be motivating at the very least, and it is awesome if you are potentially dealing with blending families and kids.
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By Addie on October 1, 2012
Format: Paperback
This is a wonderful book, easy to read, comforting if you have doubts about having a relationship when you are grown. It is full of anecdotes from people interviewed. If you have no relationship, have fears or doubts about a new relationship, the book will make you feel better and will gently give confirmation of your situation (you are not alone with this problem). Then, you will have counsel on solutions. It's helpful and fun.
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By Jackie on September 28, 2012
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Love For Grown-ups is insightful, entertaining, and uplifting all in one! Whatever your circumstances, you will gain perspective and enjoy these real life stories and experiences. Reading this book feels like spending time with a great girlfriend. It is filled with hope, contains fabulous advice, and you walk away feeling like your cup is full :))) A definite winner!!
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