When Shelina Janmohamed, an Oxford-educated Muslim living in the bubbling ethnic mix of North London, opted for the traditional “arranged” route to finding a partner, she never suspected it would be the journey of her life.
Through ten long years of matchmaking buxom aunties, countless mismatches, and outrageous dating disasters, Shelina discovers more about herself and her faith. Along the way, she learns that sometimes being true to her religion means challenging tradition, while readers learn much about Islam that may surprise them.
Love in a Headscarf
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Editorial Reviews
Review
“An Islamic spin on the ‘Looking for The One’ genre.”—Harper’s Bazaar
“A delightful memoir that celebrates spirituality, self-empowerment, female agency, and resistance to cultural (both ‘Eastern’ and ‘Western’) dictates on women’s roles and identities.” —Randa Abdel-Fattah, author of Does My Head Look Big in This?
“What a fun glimpse into the courting rituals of a traditional South Asian British Muslim community! Janmohamed’s colorful and often humorous memoir shows us how those of another culture and religion might navigate the search for love, that most universal of themes. Perfect for the bedside table, but enlightening, as well.”—Sumbul Ali-Karamali, author of The Muslim Next Door: The Qur’an, the Media, and that Veil Thing
“A gripping and enjoyable read.”—Leila Aboulela, author of Minaret
“With honesty and humor, Shelina Zahra Janmohamed navigates the complicated world of being a British Muslim woman in our modern society. Love in a Headscarf is a rich and full exploration of her choice to uphold her Islamic traditions, while maintaining her own identity in her search for love and spirituality. Along the way, Janmohamed enlightens readers and reminds us all of our common humanity, with, or without, a headscarf. A thoughtful and captivating read!”—Gail Tsukiyama, author of Street of a Thousand Blossoms
“A forthright, charming tale of unraveling the ‘overwhelming contradictions and tangles’ of identity.”—Kirkus Reviews
“Her journey is at times hilarious, but also a rare and fascinating insight into what it means to be a Muslim woman.”—The Good Book Guide
“There is also a lot that appeals to me about Janmohamed. She isn’t just out to get married; she works, buys a sports car, climbs Mt. Kilimanjaro, visits Egypt and goes on Hajj. I can definitely relate to the wanderlust…The book has many moments of wit, especially in relating the descriptions of the “buxom aunties” that set up matches…”
—HijabTrendz
“Janmohamed weaves humor and emotion in her memoir as she enchants readers with tales of past suitors who didn’t make the cut...This is a beautiful, heartfelt memoir that gives insight into the depths of the author’s soul. It offers insight into her culture and its practices, while making it relatable to any reader."—Teen Voices
“Love in a Headscarf is a breath of fresh air in the genre of Islam-related non-fiction. Not only is it about Love, but it also exhibits a positive, uplifting and inspiring view of Muslim women. This is a godsend in a time when mass media is plagued with negative stereotyping and an overall misunderstanding of Muslim women.”—Azizah Magazine
About the Author
Shelina Zahra Janmohamed is an influential commentator on British Islam: a columnist for EMEL magazine, a regular contributor to the Guardian and the BBC, and author of the award-winning blog, Spirit21. Named one of the UK’s hundred most influential Muslim women by the Times of London, Janmohamed lives in London.
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More About the Author
Shelina Zahra Janmohamed graduated from New College, Oxford, and has become one of the UK's hundred most influential Muslim women, as named by the Times of London. In her role as an influential commentator on British Islam, she is a columnist for EMEL magazine, and a regular contributor to the Guardian and the BBC. Her blog, Spirit21, has won several awards, including the Brass Crescent Award for Best Blog. Janmohamed lives in London and has appeared on numerous British television networks.
Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
10 of 10 people found the following review helpful
By D. Beatty
Format:Paperback
Love in a Headscarf is a memoir written by award-winning UK Muslim blogger Shelina Zahra Janmohamed, light-heartedly depicting her decade-long spouse hunt. Her fantasy as a 13-year-old of marrying John Travolta (after he converts to Islam, of course) and of finding Prince Charming is juxtaposed with the difficult realities of modern young Muslims in the West trying to get married. All the lectures from the imam at the masjid about marriage notwithstanding, she reports that her community finds itself in a situation of large numbers of Muslim girls being unable to find spouses, with too many of the boys marrying "back home", seeking marriage primarily for residency purposes, being uninterested in marriage, or being wholly unprepared to be husbands. The match-making Aunties fret over the possibly too-high education levels and aspirations of the girls while the girls fret over the contrast between the Islamic teachings on love and marriage and the cultural realities.
Her tales of potential matches gone wrong are humorous, candid, and disconcerting. From the brother who announces up front he will not consider marrying her because she is only 5'3" but wants to meet her for dinner anyway, to the one who agrees to meet her at 5 p.m. for introductions over coffee, only to show up at 7 because he was busy watching a soccer match on T.V., and who then proceeds to pocket her change from the Dutch-treat evening along with his, to the one who admits that he is only meeting her and her family because his mother insisted it was time for him to get married although he has no interest, Sister Shelina is left to wonder where the "good men" are and why aren't they interested in her and her friends. Over time, she and her friends begin to contemplate the possibility of never getting married, a fate met with sad clucks, admonitions, and shakes of the head at the masjid.
She goes through a mild rebellion by climbing Mount Kilimanjaro, traveling to Egypt with her girlfriends, and buying a fancy car - the kind of car boys, not "good girls", get - all the while trying to balance her independence against the possibility of ruining her reputation with the match-making Aunties. Initially her searches are entirely traditional, but she gradually expands her methods to include online matchmaking sites and even disastrous Muslim "speed dating" events in London. Eventually, she does meet "Mr. Right" at an Islamic conference, but it appears only perseverance and good fortune or blessings from God, rather than any solution to the marriage problem of the Muslim community, gets the credit.
Love in a Headscarf is a fast, easy, almost frivolous read and would primarily appeal to young women. Janmohamed supposes a non-Muslim audience and addresses it with occasional, generally engaging monologues on why she wears hijab or about her post 9/11 experiences that do not quite fit seamlessly into her theme, but may nevertheless serve to educate. Her delineation of Islam vs. culture is perhaps not always clear enough for that non-Muslim or different cultural-background audience, particularly early in the story, and might create some confusion or monolithic interpretation of Islam and marriage that is not fully warranted. Some, like myself, may be a little uneasy with her implicit depiction of the marriage problem as primarily a male one, but perhaps others will claim she hits the nail on the head. If the Muslim women have some contribution to the problem, she seems unable to get a good grasp on it, aside from blaming general cultural matters. She does not come across as a male-bashing feminist, but all the failed matches in her tales have either fate or men to account for them, with the women merely victims- a fact which becomes wearisome and may even invoke pity or concern for the long list of potential matches whose private conversations with her during the matching process end up aired publicly in this book. Perhaps the men were made anonymous through name and/or detail changes or were fictionalized, but if so, this was not announced, and members of the community the author is part of could likely easily still determine who is being talked about. Although the stories are nothing out of the ordinary, the unflattering depiction of some men left me to wonder if they had been backbitten, which, if true, would be cause enough to avoid recommending this book.
Although this memoir contains humor and seems to be light-hearted, it is not uplifting. To the contrary, for those single Muslim men and women who are enduring the struggle to find mates or are preparing to embark on that journey, it is not helpful and is even rather despairing at times, although that was clearly not intended by the author. The unwounded in the modern Muslim marriage plight may miss that negative tenor, but the potential emotional drag for those with real-life experience in this arena may be enough to recommend passing over this book. Those with plenty of optimism and with time on their side may yet be able to thoroughly enjoy this energetic, youthful true tale.
Her tales of potential matches gone wrong are humorous, candid, and disconcerting. From the brother who announces up front he will not consider marrying her because she is only 5'3" but wants to meet her for dinner anyway, to the one who agrees to meet her at 5 p.m. for introductions over coffee, only to show up at 7 because he was busy watching a soccer match on T.V., and who then proceeds to pocket her change from the Dutch-treat evening along with his, to the one who admits that he is only meeting her and her family because his mother insisted it was time for him to get married although he has no interest, Sister Shelina is left to wonder where the "good men" are and why aren't they interested in her and her friends. Over time, she and her friends begin to contemplate the possibility of never getting married, a fate met with sad clucks, admonitions, and shakes of the head at the masjid.
She goes through a mild rebellion by climbing Mount Kilimanjaro, traveling to Egypt with her girlfriends, and buying a fancy car - the kind of car boys, not "good girls", get - all the while trying to balance her independence against the possibility of ruining her reputation with the match-making Aunties. Initially her searches are entirely traditional, but she gradually expands her methods to include online matchmaking sites and even disastrous Muslim "speed dating" events in London. Eventually, she does meet "Mr. Right" at an Islamic conference, but it appears only perseverance and good fortune or blessings from God, rather than any solution to the marriage problem of the Muslim community, gets the credit.
Love in a Headscarf is a fast, easy, almost frivolous read and would primarily appeal to young women. Janmohamed supposes a non-Muslim audience and addresses it with occasional, generally engaging monologues on why she wears hijab or about her post 9/11 experiences that do not quite fit seamlessly into her theme, but may nevertheless serve to educate. Her delineation of Islam vs. culture is perhaps not always clear enough for that non-Muslim or different cultural-background audience, particularly early in the story, and might create some confusion or monolithic interpretation of Islam and marriage that is not fully warranted. Some, like myself, may be a little uneasy with her implicit depiction of the marriage problem as primarily a male one, but perhaps others will claim she hits the nail on the head. If the Muslim women have some contribution to the problem, she seems unable to get a good grasp on it, aside from blaming general cultural matters. She does not come across as a male-bashing feminist, but all the failed matches in her tales have either fate or men to account for them, with the women merely victims- a fact which becomes wearisome and may even invoke pity or concern for the long list of potential matches whose private conversations with her during the matching process end up aired publicly in this book. Perhaps the men were made anonymous through name and/or detail changes or were fictionalized, but if so, this was not announced, and members of the community the author is part of could likely easily still determine who is being talked about. Although the stories are nothing out of the ordinary, the unflattering depiction of some men left me to wonder if they had been backbitten, which, if true, would be cause enough to avoid recommending this book.
Although this memoir contains humor and seems to be light-hearted, it is not uplifting. To the contrary, for those single Muslim men and women who are enduring the struggle to find mates or are preparing to embark on that journey, it is not helpful and is even rather despairing at times, although that was clearly not intended by the author. The unwounded in the modern Muslim marriage plight may miss that negative tenor, but the potential emotional drag for those with real-life experience in this arena may be enough to recommend passing over this book. Those with plenty of optimism and with time on their side may yet be able to thoroughly enjoy this energetic, youthful true tale.
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
I was initially interested in the book to see the matchmaking process in another culture besides my own, but ended up realizing how similar we all are. This book will touch anyone who is striving to grow spiritually and wanting love to be part of that journey. This is all done in a very humorous and accessible way. I am looking forward to hearing more from Shelina Janmohamed.
P.S. if you enjoyed this book, check out the movie Arranged.
P.S. if you enjoyed this book, check out the movie Arranged.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
I won this through a Goodreads giveaway and was pleased to receive it since I had my eye on it after seeing it in a bookstore. This memoir does an excellent job of tearing down misconceptions about Muslim women. The author is modern, intelligent, outspoken, and spiritual--there is nothing repressed about her. The main gist is that Shelina is on the lookout for a husband who will not compromise her comfort or religious beliefs. It was interesting to read about how she and her family set up meetings with prospective men in the day and age of text messages and email. The title led me to believe that this was going to be a story mainly about romance, but the author also discusses religion, travel, adventure, history and so much more. The author left no stone unturned, making this a satisfying read. It's educational and I learned a great deal about the British-Muslim-Asian experience.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars
Conveys the lighthearted fun of being a modern muslim woman
I was reticent to this book because the description and title seemed kind of trite and flippant. But I bought the sample and it was exceedingly well written and the first piece of... Read more
Published 19 days ago by Miss D
5.0 out of 5 stars
Great book, shows the complexities of mixed cultures
I love this book. It really shows how complex it can be to be born in the West and have parents from the East, mixing 2 cultures in ones everyday life.
Published 3 months ago by newmslma
5.0 out of 5 stars
Love in a headscarf
It was a very interesting book. I am putting it into my church's library for our reading program. I rated it 5 stars
Published 5 months ago by Doris ABel
5.0 out of 5 stars
A worthwhile read
This explains Muslim practices in a way that makes them seem like the people next door (which they are, but we don't always think of them that way).
Published 5 months ago by Luan Bland
5.0 out of 5 stars
Everyone should read this
This book is a good one for non-Muslims to read and have a better understanding of what Islam is all about. Read more
Published 5 months ago by R. Oliver
5.0 out of 5 stars
Cultural background on the life of a Pakistani Muslim
I enjoyed this book. I read the preview on Kindle and then decided to buy the paperback. I am Muslim, but not Pakistani, so it was interesting to me to read her perspective to... Read more
Published 5 months ago by AZOMAMA
3.0 out of 5 stars
Lighthearted read
Arranged marriages or match-made marriages are not quite as black and white as they used to be. These days, arranged marriages come with some flexibility that allows for both the... Read more
Published on December 16, 2010 by Caroline Lim
4.0 out of 5 stars
All You Need Is Love
In this insightful and often humorous look at love and marriage, author Shelina Janmohamed explores her experiences in the search for a significant other, which lead her to places... Read more
Published on December 7, 2010 by Ada's Accomplice
4.0 out of 5 stars
From arranged introductions to speed dating: finding love is NEVER...
"At the age of thirteen I knew I was destined to marry John Travolta. One day he would arrive on my north London doorstep, fall madly in love with me, and ask me to marry him. Read more
Published on November 21, 2010 by labfs39
5.0 out of 5 stars
Shatters stereotypes of Muslim women
This memoir was a delightful surprise. As the title suggests it is about finding love; the author, Shelina, is a British-born Asian Muslim who is choosing to allow her community to... Read more
Published on November 20, 2010 by Live2Cruise
