To Love, Honor, and Vacuum: When You Feel More Like a Maid Than a Wife and Mother [Paperback]

Sheila Wray Gregoire (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: June 10, 2003

(Foreword by Carla Barnhill, Christian Parenting Today) A syndicated writer and popular speaker helps women grow and thrive in the midst of their hectic lives, even if their circumstances never change. (20040603)

Editorial Reviews

Review

To Love, Honor, and Vacuum is full of helpful, practical ideas that any mom can use to simplify and bring balance to her life, no matter how hectic it has become. (Living Light News 20040603)

To Love, Honor, and Vacuum offers encouragement for the overwhelmed, freedom from perfectionism, and a vision of life dominated by care. (Faithfulreader.com 20040603)

. . . A must read for any woman who finds herself too busy, too tired and too frustrated to enjoy and cherish the most important blessings in her life mainly her husband, her children and her Lord. (Author's Choice Book Reviews 20040603)

. . . Make[s] a great spring board for discussion groups. . . provides a stimulus to do practical things to make life happier for everyone and also shows that one's feelings of frustration and anger are shared by others in similar situations. (Christian Observer 20040603)

Before you give up and let cat litter take over, read this book and get ready for a whole new approach to home management. (San Diego Family Magazine )

If you find yourself stressed by housework, this is the book for you. (WRGN )

This book is about taking control. Itís too easy for a womanís day to be dictated by otherís needs; however, when a woman exerts some control over her activities, sheíll be happier, sheíll receive more respect and sheís even likely to get more help. Gregoireís enthusiasm, real-life examples, and emphasis on healthy relationships will encourage women to embrace their responsibilities. (CBA Marketplace )

From the Back Cover

This is no “women’s lib” book. Nor is it a five-step program for becoming a human doormat.

To Love, Honor, and Vacuum encourages women to deal with their hectic lives by prioritizing relationships and fostering responsibility and respect in all family members. When women apply these real-world, real-life insights, they will discover what it means to love and honor in spite of the vacuuming.

“Sheila is about to challenge your thinking about your role as a wife and mother. I don’t say that lightly. I read more advice about mothering and womanhood in a week than most people read in a year. But Sheila is on to something here.”

—Carla Barnhill
Editor, Christian Parenting Today

“In To Love, Honor, and Vacuum, Sheila speaks to both the heart and habits of the woman who is wife and mother. The lessons in this book are biblical, do-able and affordable! I highly recommend it.”

—Margaret B. Buchanan
Author of Famous Jerks of the Bible

"I was grabbed from the start . . . I think Ms. Gregoire has been peeking in my windows! This is a ‘must read’ for any woman who has wondered why she doesn't derive pure joy from her role as Domestic Goddess!”

—Mia Cronan
MainStreetMom.com

“Filled with spiritual wisdom and practical tips.”

—Karen Stiller
Associate Editor of Faith Today magazine

Sheila Wray Gregoire, a born entrepreneur, writes for numerous magazines and speaks to a variety of audiences across North America, combining the realities of a family with Scripture for real-world, real-biblical answers. In addition, she and her husband, Keith, “tag-team” homeschool their kids.

(20040603)

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 215 pages
• Publisher: Kregel Publications (June 10, 2003)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0825426995
• ISBN-13: 978-0825426995
• Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.5 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (13 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #740,278 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Sheila Wray Gregoire is a Christian speaker, columnist, and author. She's written five books, including To Love, Honor and Vacuum, and the upcoming The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex (out in January 2012 with Zondervan!). She loves speaking about marriage, parenting, and keeping our eyes on Jesus. She lives in Ontario, Canada, with her husband of 20 years and her two daughters, whom she homeschools.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars One of the Best Books I've Read in a Long Time, January 24, 2004

By 

FaithfulReader.com (New York, New York) - See all my reviews

This review is from: To Love, Honor, and Vacuum: When You Feel More Like a Maid Than a Wife and Mother (Paperback)

I admit I rarely read books that are targeted at married mothers. I'm not married and I'm not a mother. Go figure. But since I moved in with my parents and two younger brothers a few months ago (got laid off, minimizing expenses while looking for a job, you know the drill), my healthy, if distant, appreciation for home engineers has developed into downright deification. As an adult member of the household, I'm frequently overwhelmed by how much needs to be done on a daily basis.

Perhaps that's why TO LOVE, HONOR, AND VACUUM strikes me as one of the best books I've read in a long time. Written by home schooling mom and entrepreneur Shelia Wray Gregoire, the book is chock full of practical tips for doing everything around the home from cleaning to keeping spending in check to stoking the romantic fires. A lot of her suggestions aren't necessarily rocket science, but she presents them in a fresh way and gives the business of running a family a new spin.

One feature of the book that I found especially insightful is a section profiling one day in the life of three women living at three different points in American history. These short fictional accounts reveal that while women over the years share many of the same concerns about the welfare of their families, the tangible nuts and bolts of running a household have evolved significantly. This will be an epiphany for the many modern women harboring guilt-inducing notions that the housewives of earlier generations were better at running their households despite the absence of the time and effort saving conveniences that clutter homes today. On the contrary, Gregoire convincingly points out that these technological advances have actually added more lines on today's to-do lists.

And while all of this is helpful, the real value of Gregorie's book is in its discussion of the principles that should guide the division of labor in the home.

As the back cover says, this is no "women's lib" book and Gregorie does not fail to mention biblical verses referring to wives submitting to husbands. Nevertheless, she does a masterful job of exposing how commonly held ideas about gender roles within the home are of a cultural construction and not a biblical construction. Furthermore, she points out that these traditional gender roles aren't effective for many families existing in our modern economy. With this in mind, she suggests innovative ways to devise a truly harmonious living and working environment.

This harmonious environment is ultimately the goal of everything that TO LOVE, HONOR, AND VACUUM proposes.

"As you change your emphasis to people's comfort, rather than keeping up appearances, your attitude toward housework will probably change as well. Having the 'perfect house' as a standard can be very debilitating, constricting our ability to share with others. Maybe you'd like to invite that new couple over after church, but you can't possibly let them in your home right now because there are still crumbs on the counter from breakfast and the kid's toys are lying on the stairs.

When we think this way, we are putting things ahead of people. Creating a family friendly home means creating a home where people feel comfortable. Pastor Kevin Dowling, a friend from our hometown says that Christians should aim to be hospitable, not to entertain. Our aim is to share our homes and our lives, not to put on a show. So instead of putting your energy into keeping a perfect home that few see, try creating a comfortable one the people feel welcome in."

And, as a result, TO LOVE, HONOR, AND VACUUM offers encouragement for the overwhelmed, freedom from perfectionism, and a vision of life dominated by care, not precision.

--- Reviewed by Lisa Ann Cockrel

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Creative ideas for today's overworked Moms, November 19, 2003

By 

MyParenTime.com "myparentimesfamily" (USA) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)   

This review is from: To Love, Honor, and Vacuum: When You Feel More Like a Maid Than a Wife and Mother (Paperback)

Stay-at-home and working moms often feel stressed about house chores, their spouse and their children. If you're a stressed-out mom and are feeling disconnected from your role of wife and mother, it's time to rearrange your priorities and focus on what's most important in your life.

"...To Love, Honor, and Vacuum," by Sheila Wray Gregoire, is just the book to help stressed-out moms learn how to improve their lives. It gives many examples, helpful tips and ideas, includes things to think about, and provides checklists to help manage your stressful life.

MyParenTime.com recommends this book -- although the book contains Christian-based ideas, this book is appropriate for Moms of all faiths. "When you feel more like a maid than a wife and mother," the suggestions in this book can help you change that :).

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Gregoire's book is wise, insightful and a great read, August 23, 2003

By 

Deborah Gyapong (Canada) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: To Love, Honor, and Vacuum: When You Feel More Like a Maid Than a Wife and Mother (Paperback)

Sheila Wray Gregoires "To Love Honor and Vacuum: When You Feel More Like a Maid Than a Wife and Mother" is an engaging read, packed with practical advice and original insights. Though this book is especially aimed at women trying to juggle children, households and husbands, even those like myself who only have the husband and the household can find useful tips on time management, re-ordering priorities, and spiritual balance.

The chapter In the Mood about sex and romance is worth the price of the book. Her gracious advice in this area will help women to understand their husbands very different responses to sexual intimacy. She explains the need for genuine independence and mystery as a key to keeping romance blooming.

The book applies timeless Christian principles to the thoroughly modern predicament of todays wives and mothers. Wray Gregoire traces the differences in the lifestyles and levels of support our grandmothers and mothers had to the lives we live now where the nuclear family is often isolated from other family members in anonymous neighborhoods. She tells how those principles can still work, despite these changed circumstances, if they are applied with a proper balance. She acknowledges that sometimes certain aspects of Christian teaching have been misinterpreted to promote the idea that a woman should be like a doormat or a maid in the home instead of a loving wife in a relationship of mutual respect. She effectively shows the difference between servanthood and subservience in a way thats penetrating and original.

I found this book hard to put down because Wray Gregoires style is so accessible and fun to read, but this is a book that would just as useful for a group study. At the end of each chapter are some deeper questions to ponder that would make ideal assignments between meetings. This book could be reread several times because so much wisdom is distilled into it, and its style is fresh enough to make rereading a pleasure.