Beyond the basics of polyamory lies a complex web of negotiations, agreements, pitfalls and rewards. Kathy Labriola, a relationships counselor who has worked for many years with singles, couples and groups in polyamorous and open relationships, sets forth some of the realities of alternative lifestyles: dealing with some of the common relationship-disrupters, managing jealousy, choosing compatible partners, combining BDSM with polyamory, distinguishing between sex addiction and polyamory, and much more.
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Book Description
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Editorial Reviews
About the Author
Kathy Labriola has extensive experience assisting people with the challenges of non-traditional relationships, sexual orientation crises, political activism, and class struggle. A counselor and nurse, she has written articles for LovingMore, Polymatchmaker.com, and many other publications and websites.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
11 of 12 people found the following review helpful
By Gina Corsi
Format:Paperback
This is a very smart book, full of practical advice and many examples of real people successfully having more than one partner at the same time. Low on flowery rhetoric, and full of practical, real-world case stories of complex lives and relationships. She works as a counselor, and it shows.
The book is very low on, "This is what I think, and/or what poly theory says",
and very high on, "Here are relationships I've seen work (and not work!) in the real world".
She immediately deals with emotions like jealousy, envy, insecurity and compulsive behavior,
inevitable in any relationship, but more so in polyamory.
She's very practical and matter-of-fact, and provides useful models to develop relationship skills.
She's skilled, thoughtful and wise. I read the book in a single evening, unable to put it down.
If you are contemplating polyamory, this is a must-read.
I would also recommend a therapist experienced in polyamory, if at all possible.
It's a step that shouldn't be taken lightly.
The book is very low on, "This is what I think, and/or what poly theory says",
and very high on, "Here are relationships I've seen work (and not work!) in the real world".
She immediately deals with emotions like jealousy, envy, insecurity and compulsive behavior,
inevitable in any relationship, but more so in polyamory.
She's very practical and matter-of-fact, and provides useful models to develop relationship skills.
She's skilled, thoughtful and wise. I read the book in a single evening, unable to put it down.
If you are contemplating polyamory, this is a must-read.
I would also recommend a therapist experienced in polyamory, if at all possible.
It's a step that shouldn't be taken lightly.
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
This is a very practical book on polyamory and open relationships in particular, but is equally applicable to all relationships in general. Anyone in any style of relationship would find this book helpful.
The polyamory "look" does offer a language and framework for talking about the emotional issues that might come up in relationships, but this book is equally applicable to any other sort of arrangement where the people directly involved openly and honestly define the parameters of their lives together. And at the end of the day, what honest relationship doesn't do that?
For this reason, virtually anyone, involved in any style of relationship, would benefit from this book's clearheaded and openhearted discussion. Not just those involved in polyamory, swing lifestyle, or BDSM, but even traditional monogamous marriages. After all, what relationship of any kind hasn't had to deal with jealousy? Togetherness vs. autonomy? Trust issues? Sure, a multi-partner situation might bring these issues to the forefront sooner, but they come up in all relationships.
So a book like this, which offers practical discussion and tools for polyamory or open relationships, in the end can offer solid guidance for any relationship. Highly recommended.
The polyamory "look" does offer a language and framework for talking about the emotional issues that might come up in relationships, but this book is equally applicable to any other sort of arrangement where the people directly involved openly and honestly define the parameters of their lives together. And at the end of the day, what honest relationship doesn't do that?
For this reason, virtually anyone, involved in any style of relationship, would benefit from this book's clearheaded and openhearted discussion. Not just those involved in polyamory, swing lifestyle, or BDSM, but even traditional monogamous marriages. After all, what relationship of any kind hasn't had to deal with jealousy? Togetherness vs. autonomy? Trust issues? Sure, a multi-partner situation might bring these issues to the forefront sooner, but they come up in all relationships.
So a book like this, which offers practical discussion and tools for polyamory or open relationships, in the end can offer solid guidance for any relationship. Highly recommended.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars
a book that deserves far more attention than it has gotten so far
November 21, 2012
By Eli
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
Of the several books on polyamory and non-monogamy that I've read over the past 7 years this has been my favorite. I've purchased and lent out multiple copies to friends, and remain surprised at how few reviews this has and how few people seem to have heard of it. It's one of the most concise and helpful reads on open relationships I've seen so far.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars
An Excellent Resource!
Kathy Labriola provides a great resource for those new to open relationships as well as those with open relationship experience. Read more
Published 4 months ago by Maka Hansen
1.0 out of 5 stars
There are much better books for open relationships
This book relies heavily on generalizations, over-simplification, outdated stereotypes and "us vs. them" reasoning in many of the so-called advice and examples. Read more
Published 16 months ago by Christina M. Sears
5.0 out of 5 stars
Compassionate & Practical: A Must Read
I can't say enough good things about this guide to navigating and negotiating open relationships. Her writing is clear and advice compassionate and full of wisdom from her... Read more
Published 16 months ago by PDXReader
5.0 out of 5 stars
a great counselor, with great advice
a great read for those who want a professional's perspective on redefining the possibilities for experiencing love in any relationship.
Published on November 11, 2010 by kate sassoon
