Amazon.com: Customer Reviews: Love In Abundance: A Counselor's Advice On Open Relationships
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Customer Reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
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on February 21, 2011
This is a very smart book, full of practical advice and many examples of real people successfully having more than one partner at the same time. Low on flowery rhetoric, and full of practical, real-world case stories of complex lives and relationships. She works as a counselor, and it shows.

The book is very low on, "This is what I think, and/or what poly theory says",
and very high on, "Here are relationships I've seen work (and not work!) in the real world".

She immediately deals with emotions like jealousy, envy, insecurity and compulsive behavior,
inevitable in any relationship, but more so in polyamory.
She's very practical and matter-of-fact, and provides useful models to develop relationship skills.
She's skilled, thoughtful and wise. I read the book in a single evening, unable to put it down.

If you are contemplating polyamory, this is a must-read.
I would also recommend a therapist experienced in polyamory, if at all possible.
It's a step that shouldn't be taken lightly.
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on October 25, 2011
This is a very practical book on polyamory and open relationships in particular, but is equally applicable to all relationships in general. Anyone in any style of relationship would find this book helpful.

The polyamory "look" does offer a language and framework for talking about the emotional issues that might come up in relationships, but this book is equally applicable to any other sort of arrangement where the people directly involved openly and honestly define the parameters of their lives together. And at the end of the day, what honest relationship doesn't do that?

For this reason, virtually anyone, involved in any style of relationship, would benefit from this book's clearheaded and openhearted discussion. Not just those involved in polyamory, swing lifestyle, or BDSM, but even traditional monogamous marriages. After all, what relationship of any kind hasn't had to deal with jealousy? Togetherness vs. autonomy? Trust issues? Sure, a multi-partner situation might bring these issues to the forefront sooner, but they come up in all relationships.

So a book like this, which offers practical discussion and tools for polyamory or open relationships, in the end can offer solid guidance for any relationship. Highly recommended.
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on August 13, 2013
Kathy Labriola's book, "Love In Abundance: A Counselor's Advice on Open Relationships" is a great contribution to the literature on polyamorous and/or open relationships. She gives excellent advice garnered from her extensive counseling experience, and backs up her recommendations with clear, helpful examples. Her topics are helpful and interesting, running the gamut from communication advice to suggestions for how to deal with jealousy, and much more. One especially unusual and helpful aspect to the book, in my opinion, is Labriola's commitment to sexual orientation inclusiveness. In her relationship examples, she seamlessly includes same-sex relationships as well as heterosexual ones. She discusses several kinds of relationship formations as well, and not just the "usual" heterosexual, primary-secondary/hierarchical model.

On the not-so-perfect side, some people have found her section on advice about communication between men and women to be a bit "gender-essentialist," and others find her advice in general to be somewhat "basic." I myself think she has observed some true patterns over the years regarding communication between men and women, and has some good communication advice that isn't limited to relationships between the gender binary, nor to any particular style of relating. I also find her advice to be grounded in reality, and a gentler introduction to the concepts than some of the books that came before.

I highly recommend this book to my clients and other people interested in polyamorous/open relationships. I think it fits in nicely, filling the gaps between the groundbreaking Polyamory: The New Love Without Limits : Secrets of Sustainable Intimate Relationships by Deborah Anapol, and the book touted for years as the "poly bible," The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy. Not as radical as Redefining Our Relationships: Guidelines For Responsible Open Relationships by Wendy-O Matik and far less dense than Ravencroft's Polyamory: Roadmaps for the Clueless & Hopeful, I think this book is a solid guide in an often confusing territory, especially helpful to those completely new to the concepts.

Highly recommended for relationship explorers of any sort, and a must-have for any counseling professional who serves these communities.
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on November 21, 2012
Of the several books on polyamory and non-monogamy that I've read over the past 7 years this has been my favorite. I've purchased and lent out multiple copies to friends, and remain surprised at how few reviews this has and how few people seem to have heard of it. It's one of the most concise and helpful reads on open relationships I've seen so far.
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on January 3, 2012
I can't say enough good things about this guide to navigating and negotiating open relationships. Her writing is clear and advice compassionate and full of wisdom from her experience as a counselor. I am excited to apply all of her advice to my open relationships, and talk more about her ideas with my partner.
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on August 14, 2013
Kathy Labriola's book, "Love In Abundance: A Counselor's Advice on Open Relationships" is a great contribution to the literature on polyamorous and/or open relationships. She gives excellent advice garnered from her extensive counseling experience, and backs up her recommendations with clear, helpful examples. Her topics are helpful and interesting, running the gamut from communication advice to suggestions for how to deal with jealousy, and much more. One especially unusual and helpful aspect to the book, in my opinion, is Labriola's commitment to sexual orientation inclusiveness. In her relationship examples, she seamlessly includes same-sex relationships as well as heterosexual ones. She discusses several kinds of relationship formations as well, and not just the "usual" heterosexual, primary-secondary/hierarchical model.

On the not-so-perfect side, some people have found her section on advice about communication between men and women to be a bit "gender-essentialist," and others find her advice in general to be somewhat "basic." I myself think she has observed some true patterns over the years regarding communication between men and women, and has some good communication advice that isn't limited to relationships between the gender binary, nor to any particular style of relating. I also find her advice to be grounded in reality, and a gentler introduction to the concepts than some of the books that came before.

I highly recommend this book to my clients and other people interested in polyamorous/open relationships. I think it fits in nicely, filling the gaps between the groundbreaking Polyamory: The New Love Without Limits : Secrets of Sustainable Intimate Relationships by Deborah Anapol, and the book touted for years as the "poly bible," The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy. Not as radical as Redefining Our Relationships: Guidelines For Responsible Open Relationships by Wendy-O Matik and far less dense than Ravencroft's Polyamory: Roadmaps for the Clueless & Hopeful, I think this book is a solid guide in an often confusing territory, especially helpful to those completely new to the concepts.

Highly recommended for relationship explorers of any sort, and a must-have for any counseling professional who serves these communities.
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on April 23, 2014
I found this book very calming to my anxieties. I'm in a struggle to accept myself and the need for an open marriage due to my newly recognized bisexuality. This book helped me look inward to learn about myself and eased some panic and jealousy. Many thanks!!!
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on December 10, 2013
This is a fine book by a person who is plainly an experienced hand at polyamory, both as a practitioner and a counselor. Strikingly orderly and coherent, it provides an excellent overview while also devoting a lot of quality time to jealousy, which is a common companion for people practicing polyamory. I highly recommend this work for anyone who is considering polyamory or already dipping their toes (or other parts) into these waters.
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on January 4, 2013
Kathy Labriola provides a great resource for those new to open relationships as well as those with open relationship experience. Most books on polyamory offer the same basics: they cover the different forms poly relationships may take, stress the importance of communication, and talk about how to deal with jealousy. Ms. Labriola certainly offers all of these basics, but as a relationship counselor who is polyamorous herself, she provides a unique perspective, and in my opinion she goes beyond the basics.

Although I have been practicing polyamory for twenty-ish years, there was much I found of value to use in my current relationships.
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on February 7, 2015
This is my new favorite book to recommend to not only people in open relationships, but also to therapists who work with partners that are exploring the idea of opening up.
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