Customer Reviews

Love, Infidelity, and Sexual Addiction: A Codependent's Perspective

5 star:		(6)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

After reading many other books about sexual addiction, I was becoming learned about the addiction and why my significant other may have gone down the path to sexual addiction. What I wasn't understanding was ME. Then I found this book.

I feel Love, Infidelity and Sexual Addiction (A CoDependent's Perspective) should be the first book read by anyone struggling with being in a relationship with a sex addict. It certainly helped me understand MY emotion and behaviors instead of the addict's emotions and behaviors. Who CAN we try to help after all; only ourselves. (Keep the focus on yourself)

It's more important to first make the choice to be personally healthy and then "try" to understand the addict's behaviors. This is a must read.

This book gives a very good insight into sexual addiction and the cause. It also covers in depth the role of the codependent.It is written in a very straightforward manner and easy to understand. A good book for anyone looking for information on sexual addition.

This is the best book I have read, so far. I have read most out there - but this is the first I read that wasn't geared towards understanding the addict. This one sure helped me understand, but it's a book for ME - a CO-Sex Addict. It's short, concise, and easy to understand. Some books get a bit technical for my liking. I don't want to know statistics - I want to heal! Good luck, and take care of you! Don't forget you are not alone. [...]

Good healthy info here, but the information should be updated to include the internet age!

The author provides very valuable information about sex addicts and about codependents. Her personal story gives readers a chance to be cautious if they are faced with a relationship with a sex addict. She gives complete descriptions of codependent behavior. What I liked best was the spiritual touch of the book. She emphasizes the importance of having a relationship with God and using prayer to stay on the right track. If you are involved in relatinship with a sex addict, or if you know someone who is, this book is helpful. Although the author's relationship with the sex addict ended, she doesn't believe it has to be that way.

It's written for those who are the spouse of an addict (referred to as co-addicts). While reading the book, I was bothered that the author kept generalizing that co-addicts have a low self esteem and therefore keep going back to the addict, even after they've been hurt over and over. They cling to people that are bad to them for fear of no one else loving them.

Tried to see how that applied to me, but couldn't. Figured I'm in denial or just not understanding something correctly.

After finishing the book, I realized that at no point did the author recognize that maybe, just maybe, the co-addict keeps going back - or trying to make things work - because one day they (I) stood in front of God and everyone and said, "till death do us part", and meant it. The author constantly refers to needing a healthy relationship with God and yet completely missed the mark on the wedding vows.

It's understood that everyone needs to process the information in regards to their specific situation, but something about this book really bothered me and I couldn't quite put my finger on it. The revelation came when I realized the author's perspective; acknowledging the need for God, but not recognizing a commitment to God through marriage vows.

Having said that, the book is also packed with insightful information about self, and self-healing. I have taken away many things that I CAN apply, and for that, I'm very appreciative.

The description of the addict-coaddict cycles really hit home, especially the part about the coaddict becoming overvigilant. That was me! I can't quite give up the idea that I might be able to control his behavior by reading his emails, questioning his every move, etc., but I feel I can get there after discussion with him about letting go. The best thing about this book is the theme of changing MY behaviors, not his. Decide what I can and cannot tolerate and stick to my guns. If he screws up, decide how I will deal with it. It was helpful too to read that it is important to make a decision (to stay or go) rather than wallowing in indecision forever. There is no right or wrong answer, but whether I stay in this relationship or not, I need to change my way of thinking in order to be stronger going forward. Obviously, I thought this book was helpful!

After reading this book I was very very disappointed. I liked it at first. Then it said I the coaddict was as bad or worse than the sex addict. I find that to be very disturbing.

When I first received this book and saw the truly awful graphics on the cover, I began questioning my judgement in ordering it. It looks like something that was produced prior to the computer age.

Then I started reading and was, initially, pleasantly surprised. It was well-written and the information was much more research-based than what I had feared finding. But as I kept reading, I realized that this book is not for all codependents of sex addicts.

The book is specifically (and, ultimately, only) for those whose partners are: (1) addicted to the emotional aspects of their affairs, (2) unwilling to admit they have a sex addiction, and (3) exceedingly manipulative.

For those in that situation, I think this book would be great. But for those of us with a different set of circumstances... not so much.

This is a wonderful, hopeful book for those living with someone with sexual addiction. It helped me understand it's not my fault. Explains behaviors and why they occur. The book got me through a really rough period in my life. Would recommend it to anyone who has sexual addiction in their relationship.