Customer Reviews

Love by Mail: The International Guide to Personal Advertising

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All the questions you have about about finding the woman of your dreams are answered here. This book even has a chapter on deciding if this is a good strategy for you. After that, the book tells you tactics which he used in finding his wife. Also contains a chapter on visas, immigration, etc.

When I wrote this book in 1991, it was the state-of-the-art guide to the subject of creating a successful cross-cultural / international marriage. Its advice from that perspective remains unmatched. However, for all practical purposes, the Internet did not exist at that time (!!) and the methods of contacting future partners overseas were limited to writing paper letters. Quaint as this may seem, it gave people time to reflect and think carefully about such an important matter. Having said that, my book is technologically obsolete now, and many others have been written. But for the person searching for a mate overseas,(usually men) and for the women they meet, I would caution both that cross-cultural relationships are much more complex that are presented in most "mailorder bride" books, and that the failure (divorce) rate is high in ANY hastily-arranged marriage. By the way, I practiced what I preached in the book. My wife, from Colombia, South America, and I have been happily married here in the United States now for eighteen years. I wish my publisher had been so faithful. He hasn't paid me my royalties for over a decade, and continues to sell this book! Richard N. Cote', author of "Love By Mail."

The Internet is not even mentioned in this book. And that's where the biggest action now is, as far as personals advertising is concerned. The old print sources that are listed are for the most part not current. The advice is so elementary (don't write about sex in your first letter, don't be late for your first date, be sure to meet in a public place the first time and the like) as to be virtually useless. And finally -- let's face it -- the fact that the author has gone through hundreds of women during a period of several years and still not met his match does not speak very highly of his frequently touted "system." The title is catchy, though ... and the cover is nicely designed!

I bought this book several years ago -- and found it fascinating. At that point, I had already met the man of my dreams thru the personals, and wanted to find pen pals and friends. I found this book very helpful, but, alas, the pen pals I made have since faded.The only negative thing I could say about this book is that even a year after its publish date, some of the organization addresses were out of date!The most positive thing I can say about this book is the author's positive, go-for-it attitude. A superb resource for those of us who enjoy writing letters!!