Customer Reviews

Love Matters: A Book of Lesbian Romance and Relationships (Haworth Innovations in Feminist Studies)

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I love this book and I'm not a lesbian. In fact, I'm not even a woman. But I am in a relationship, and that's what this book is about.

Linda Sutton is wise, gentle, supportive, upbeat. Most of all, she shares herself as a living, breathing person, frequently offering her own experiences as vivid illustrations of her ideas. She even gives her partner and her daughter opportunities to make observations and suggestions of their own. All three have distinctive voices and personalities.

She offers down-to-earth advice and even measuring tools. For example, she introduces the intriguing concept of a "good enough relationship" and makes a convincing case for the value of a good cathartic fight once in a while. In a section called "Busyness," she writes that she and her partner "don't find time for our relationship so much as we make time." That one has really stuck with me.

The letters and responses are seasoned with wonderful quotes, poems, and--amazingly--beautiful color illustrations.

My wife and I both read this book, and it has already strengthened our relationship.

After reading Love Matters I was ready and willing to take a deeper look at all aspects of all of my relationships, and I am a heterosexual! Sutton has gone deep into her life work, exposing all aspects of her relationships. I have great respect for Sutton, and her partner Maureen, for taking the risk in the hopes of opening the hearts of lesbians and all others who want more fulfilling relationships. It has been a long time since I have even read a "relationship" book cover to cover- I couldn't put this one down! Thank you, Ms. Sutton, for the funny, insightful book. Consider your advice taken.

This book is more about the author's relationship than about lesbian relationships in general. I found her accounts of her own troubles in her own relationship hard to relate to. (Her partner Maureen must be a saint!) I caution heterosexual persons and "recently out" lesbians to take much of what is said here with a grain of salt. A lesbian relationship *can* be a fairy tale *if* two women are truly in love and devote themselves to their partners' happiness. (My partner and I have done so for 14 heavenly years.) If one is forever fighting the demons of an "evil twin" within herself, she will have problems no matter what kind or relationship she's in-- and, in fact, is probably better off being single. The author should think about this before writing a book about her problems.

I also have a problem with the politically incorrect language that crops up here and there. Words such as "lifestyle" and "sexual preference" do nothing but feed heterosexual stereotypes about us. (The author states that she "chose" to be lesbian. Puh-leeze!)

If a heterosexual person desires to learn more about lesbians (bless you!), you can easily find a better book (at Amazon, of course).