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Love Me [Kindle Edition]

Danger Slater
4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (20 customer reviews)

Print List Price: $9.99
Kindle Price: $0.99
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  • Length: 168 pages
  • Prime members can borrow this book and read it on their devices with Kindle Owners Lending Library.
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Book Description

Do you like tales of Cold War espionage? Taut psychological thrillers? Science fiction as a metaphor for U.S. foreign policy? How about cute angst-filled teenage vampire toyboys?

Well, too bad. None of those things are in this book.

Instead you’ll join a guy in a Viking suit on an absurdly epic quest to figure out the meaning of life. There will be obstacles, of course: rabid gangs of disgruntled grannies, rival cults of pie-enthusiasts, toasters, anti-matter conversion do-hickeys, Shadow Men, bandits, hippies, annoying celestial bodies, the Department of Internationally Sexy Affairs, and probably way too many dick jokes for this book to ever be considered for any serious academic curriculum. You know, the usual.

So what are you waiting for? Light a few candles, pour another glass of wine, and grab the lube.

You’re about to LOVE ME.


Editorial Reviews

About the Author

DANGER_SLATER is the world’s most flammable writer! His work has appeared in several online magazines, offline anthologies, audio podcasts, porn dialogue voice-over sessions, dirty limerick collections, fortune cookie factories, websites featuring humorous misspelled tattoos, remedial English workshops, confusing furniture assembly instructions, police affidavits, losing presidential hopefuls' concession speeches, neon bar-front beer advertisements, cereal box ingredient lists and miniature golfing scorecards. Danger_Slater is also extremely toxic, so it is advised that you do not approach him unless you’re wearing a Level A hazmat suit or have had some sort of wizard cast a spell of protection on you.

Product Details

  • File Size: 799 KB
  • Print Length: 168 pages
  • Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
  • Publisher: Jersey Devil Press (July 16, 2011)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B005D4Y8WE
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #429,833 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Love This! December 28, 2011
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
If you haven't read the back cover/product description on Amazon for Love Me, my advice is this- don't take anything too seriously about the book. It's nothing more than a fun experience to read and there is a good moral to it all. It starts out with a strong opening and concludes with a better closing that really ties everything together and doesn't let the reader down. In between the opening and closing is the story of a protagonist who: is never really given a name-except for one chapter by accident, there is no real judgement of time, the setting consistently changes... none of these things matter though. The protagonist can and does do ridiculous things like talk to rats or the moon or the wind, but after awhile you just kind of stop questioning the absurdity and accept it for what it is.
To draw an analogy reading Love Me is a lot like life itself, it doesn't always have to make sense-like when you clean a toilet, really why are you cleaning a toilet when you're just going to end up crapping in it again? (which reminds me there is a decent amount of vulgar humor, laugh this off also). But like life itself the important thing about it to simply have fun, reading Love Me is nothing more than a fun experience. If you want a fun reading experience I strongly recommend this, if you don't pick up the Bible or a textbook or something and tell me Love Me isn't by far much better.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Never ending funny. November 5, 2011
By kati
Format:Paperback
This book is... Oh my wow. This has to be the most random crazy book I have EVER read. The story line has an important meaning but you have to read the whole book to get it. Its so bad its funny. The fact that it is crazy is what makes it so memorable. It actually reminds me a lot of my ex. It has many perverted things in it so its not for the faint hearted. Sorry this is all over the place. Hilarious. Whatever you're expecting forget about it. I challenge anyone to find a story like this anywhere. This book is for people who can laugh at anything and that doesn't take things so seriously. So 17 - 29 year olds maybe. 5 stars.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars , May 24, 2012
Format:Paperback
Discombobulated and otherworldly, this book sits very firmly within the genre of bizarro; meaning if you don't know what you're getting into there is no preparing you but if you are already a connoisseur there will be nothing to surprising you.

Funny, sexual, and crude this is the perfect beach read for those who drive to the beach only to prefer being locked in the car.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
This book is definitely intended for a narrow audience. But for that audience it is hilarious and awesome. But it's not just all zany humor. Slater also demonstrates a clear understanding and knowledge of the rise of Western society and culture. Underneath the humor and the allusions though what the book really is is a parable for anyone who ever searched for the meaning of life and wound up agnostic or atheist. The one drawback to the novel is that this work needs an editor (or another editing swoop from Slater). Although his writing itself is very good, there are a few misspelled words, typos, etc.... that, alas, interfere with the book's good qualities.

Overall this book is a delicious, zany, humorous parable of the agnostic/atheist journey through Western society in a search for the meaning of life. If that sounds like it'd appeal to you and swearing and dick jokes don't offend you, then I highly recommend it.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Laugh out loud funny - an experience to be shared! December 7, 2011
Format:Paperback
I'm a sucker for stories that push the edge, that take pop-culture obsessions and tear them to pieces, so when Danger Slater came to me with Love Me, describing is as "a tongue-in-cheek satire heavily steeped in speculative-fiction/absurdism/bizarro.....think Forrest Gump if it were directed by David Lynch," I was only too happy to take up the challenge. With a set-up like that, any book should be doomed to failure - except he tosses in just enough Monty Python, Douglas Adams, and even Looney Tunes to make it all work.

This was a wonderfully absurd read, and one that had me frequently laughing out loud. It's twisted and perverted (which isn't a bad thing!), and wildly inventive. Every time you figure you've reached the heights of absurdity, and have found a rare lull in the story, he dangles something even more ridiculous in front of you . . . and then sneaks up behind you and macks you over the head with something even more unexpected. I could list a dozen favourite scenes from the book (none of them with a straight face), but I'm wary of spoiling the experience.

If you're not open to a read where tangents make the book, this will likely try your patience at times, but I still suspect it will make you beg for more. So long as you don't mind people staring at your public laughter, then give this a read.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars wild, imaginative, and humorous February 16, 2013
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
This book was actually a lot of fun. It is wild, imaginative, and humorous. It will give you the answers to all your questions and then give you all new questions. Though that'll end up really being a wash, your new questions will be highly superior to your old questions. Only a fool won't be able to tell the difference between your new questions and your old questions. Regardless, it's a fun book to read.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars An Entertaining Modern Read July 23, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition
To be perfectly honest I usually stick to the classics or books that are at least twenty or so years old. But, secretly, I've been looking for a book that honestly reflected more modern sentiments. I wasn't let down with "Love Me!"

There are a lot of clever little things going on in this novel so I'll name a few that most impressed me: the false histories (mismatched technology and references throughout create a unique and fun world), the modern pop-culture allusions, the alliterative prose style and the Freudian type symbolism. Freudian type symbolism? Yes. Look: He's lonely. He lives in a really tall tower (phallic symbol) and he talks to the Moon (the symbol for woman). And there are a bunch of things like that going on in the text. It's like another novel going on simultaneously.

This novel did have it's difficult moments for me at times. Danger_Slater's sense of play is so carefree and experimental that, at times, I did lose track of what was happening and have to reread a sentence or two. But is that really such a fault? Shouldn't novels be novel and strain our ability to comprehend a bit? At times the protagonist was a bit too powerful for my liking. The hero did struggle in this story but for my liking he could have sweated his obstacles more.

I would describe the over-arching theme of this work as "the malaise of modern life." That might sound like a downer but it's handled with plenty of humor.

If you enjoy irreverent, satirical modern stories like those of Kurt Vonnegut there's a very good chance you'll enjoy "Love Me."
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Because it is the best one and no others will be as good
If you haven't read a bizarro book before, do not start with this one. Why? Because it is the best one and no others will be as good. Read more
Published 2 months ago by JO
5.0 out of 5 stars This block of paper has a perfect arrangement of words in it
This block of paper has a perfect arrangement of words in it. It'll make the corners of your mouth point up. Read more
Published 3 months ago by Anti-Films Bill
2.0 out of 5 stars Self-aware, yes; satirical, yes; interesting, somewhat; still...
Let's get one thing out of the way immediately. I'm not taking this novel any more seriously than it intends or desires to be taken. Read more
Published 15 months ago by tkreviewer
5.0 out of 5 stars Loved it!
Have you ever met someone that is so pompous, arrogant and narcissistic that you can't help but love them? Me neither. The protagonist in the book is that guy. Read more
Published 16 months ago by Rodney Gardner
4.0 out of 5 stars Have You Hugged Your Viking Today?
Funny, twisted & sad all rolled into one face-paced entertaining read. Great outside lawn-chair stuff! Just don't drink the water at the bottom of the mountain.
Published 21 months ago by Scootietoots
5.0 out of 5 stars Laughter to the end
Do you like crunchy peanut butter. How bout a man willing to be your refrigerator and vomit out your food on demand. Read more
Published 24 months ago by Donald Armfield
4.0 out of 5 stars Crude humor done well
Overall I found this book to be a quick, funny and entertaining read. There were a few times that it just seemed a little too reaching for the punch line, but that was not often. Read more
Published on March 10, 2013 by Dawn Albertson
4.0 out of 5 stars Interesting read
Enjoyable, stream-of-consciousness book with a good absurdist streak. Worth a read. Plus it's quick. Six more words, seriously? Alright... poo.
Published on March 3, 2013 by djp
5.0 out of 5 stars With All of My Heart
'Love Me' by Danger Slater (with whom I share a publisher) is philosophical, filthy and funny. The novel is about a god-like being's existential quest for Answers to the Question. Read more
Published on February 24, 2013 by Matt Hlinak
3.0 out of 5 stars I like you but I don't like-like you
I've read about a dozen Bizarro books by around a half dozen different authors, so I'm familiar with the Bizarro genre to a point. Read more
Published on February 13, 2013 by John Lemut
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More About the Author

Danger_Slater is the world's most flammable writer! He writes with a lot of exclamation points! He is your favorite writer! You love him!

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