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Love Must Be Tough: New Hope for Marriages in Crisis Paperback – April 1, 2007

4.6 out of 5 stars 264 customer reviews

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From the Publisher

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From the Back Cover

Have you tried everything to save your marriage?

You've forgiven a thousand times. You've bent over backwards to make your partner feel loved and accepted. But the only reward for your loyalty has been anger, indifference, infidelity, or abuse. Your spouse may even be ready to walk out the door.

Do you feel like all is lost? Are you ready to give up? There is still hope.

Dr. James Dobson's "tough love" principles have proven to be uniquely valuable and effective. Unlike most approaches to marriage crisis, the strategy in this groundbreaking classic does not require the willing cooperation of both spouses. "Love Must Be Tough" offers the guidance that gives you the best chance of rekindling romance, renewing your relationship, and drawing your partner back into your arms.

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 238 pages
  • Publisher: Tyndale Momentum; 1 edition (April 1, 2007)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 141431745X
  • ISBN-13: 978-1414317458
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.8 x 8.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (264 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #15,342 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

By J. Snell on June 27, 2007
Format: Paperback
I got this book right when I discovered my husband was having an affair with a coworker. I was pregnant and taking care of two toddlers, and totally devastated as I went through the nightmare of shock and grief that infidelity causes. I started out clinging to my husband, begging him to come to his senses. Then I got this book, and immediately told him he was free to go. It took tremendous pressure off, but it was excruciating to really let him go at a time I desperately needed him. The hardest part was just getting through the denial stage. it takes so long to actually come to grips that your spouse is so far gone. But once I did that I was able to put Dobson's advice to work. That was six gruelling months ago, and I have just found Michele Weiner Davis' book, The Divorce Remedy, which I WISH I had known about from the beginning. She isn't christian, but her philosophy is near identical to Dobson's. She takes you through a very emotion stabilizing, proactive, productive journey at a time when you feel totally powerless. Her book is about finding solutions that work; Dobson's is more about just the 'tough love' philosophy, with christian sensibilities.
If you find yourself in a similar situation to me you will find both books incredibly inspiring and encouraging. All I can say is that the more self respect and detachment I can muster up, the more my husband seems interested in sticking around. The more I cling, the farther away he goes. I have now experienced this phenomenon repeatedly over the months. Every time I am tough, it gets my husband's attention. I have made some big mistakes, and had some triumphs. I am still trying to wait out my husband's mid life crisis, and I am learning so much about respecting myself while I do so.
If you are neither comfortable with filing divorce, or being a doormat, you will find lots of excellent advice here.
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Format: Paperback
Dr. Dobson is 100% correct in his methods. It IS guidance by the Lord. Showing TOUGH LOVE is the only way to help someone you love. Be it your spouse, a child or a relative. The methods in this book are not tricks. They delve into the psychology of what happens when someone feels "caged" in a relationship. It's based on the well known fact "the harder you try and hold on to someone, the harder they fight to get away."

And this book is not just for Marriage issues. Dr. Dobson lists 16 things you need to know when you enter into a relationship that can keep you from blowing it. Had I known then what I know now, I would be upset at myself. I blew 14 of the 16 things and it's no wonder she ran away calling me "clingy" and "soft." I was and Dr. Dobson showed me exactly why.

This book is NO GUARANTEE that you will win your spouse or significant other back. But, like anything else, if you don't do something you will more assuredly lose them anyway. Pray hard and read this book if you want to keep them. Learn to give them space.

While I may have blown my chances with my ex (and I think I have) at least I am sure I will never repeat the same mistakes again.

Single or Married, you need this book!
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Format: Hardcover
Dr. Dobson deals with another everyday issue that many of us don't know how to deal with. How to say no to the ones we love.
I read this book when I was dealing with an unfaithful wife. Everything I had said hold on to her and "force" her to come back. Dr. Dobson recommended giving freedom since in the end no one can force another into staying in a relationship. He also deals with rebellious children which is basically the same thing as a wayward spouse. Sometimes NO is the answer. Yes you have the freedom to act that way but NO I will not tolerate you acting that way toward me. Yes you have the freedom to leave, but, NO I will not be here when you get back. Yes you have the freedom to commit adultery, but, NO I will not stay married to you if you choose that route. Yes you have the freedom to stay out all night, but, NO you cannot live here and continue to practice that behavior.
A lot of the advice Dobson gives is common sense, that some of us can't see! ! when we are in the middle of those emotional situations that require us to think logically.
I highly recommend this book.
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Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
I was going through a terrible time in my marriage and my wife had left me and I did not know what to do. My wife said that she did not love me anymore and she did not think she could ever love me again. I was desperate and had tried everything imaginable to save my marriage. I read every e-book online and spent lots of money on so-called experts and prayed and pleaded with God to do anything to save my marriage. Then, as a last ditch effort, I purchased a used copy of this nearly 20-year-old book. After reading this book and applying the advice given by Dr. James Dobson, my marriage turned around completely. Within a week of reading this book my wife had moved back with me and we were once again working on the marriage. It is a practical and effective book with tried and true wisdom that goes to the heart of the matter with your marriage. If you feel like you have tried everything or even if you have not tried everything but are desperate to save your marriage, do not waste one more moment and buy this book. I have absolutely no financial incentive to encourage you to buy this book. I do not know the author personally or otherwise and my only interest is passing along the great benefit I have received in reading this book. The advice will be counter-intuitive to what you may be thinking but trust the advice and apply it in your marriage and watch as things begin to change. I was amazed at how quickly I started to see results. When I first got the book I was a little skeptical because it was published nearly 20 years ago and I doubted whether or not it would be relevant. Dr.Read more ›
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