Love Online: Emotions on the Internet [Hardcover]

Aaron Ben-Ze'ev (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 19, 2004 | ISBN-10: 0521832969 | ISBN-13: 978-0521832960

Computers have changed not just the way we work but the way we love. Falling in and out of love, flirting, cheating, even having sex online have all become part of the modern way of living and loving. Yet we know very little about these new types of relationship. How is an online affair where the two people involved may never see or meet each other different from an affair in the real world? Does online sex still involve cheating on your partner? Why do people tell complete strangers their most intimate secrets? What are the rules of engagement? Will online affairs change the monogamous nature of romantic relationships? These are just some of the questions Professor Aaron Ben Ze'ev, distinguished writer and scholar, addresses in the first full length study of love online. Accessible, shocking, entertaining, enlightening, this book will change the way you look at cyberspace and love forever. Aaron Ben Ze'ev is a Professor at the Univeristy of Haifa in the Philosophy Department and has been the Rector of the University since 2000. He has published articles for many journals such as Behavioral and Brain Sciences, Philosophical Psychology, and Theory & Psychology among others. He has also had numerous books published including The Subtlety of Emotions (MIT Press, 2000) and The Perceptual System: A Philosophical and Psychological Perspective (Peter Lang,1993), both of which have been translated into Hebrew.

Editorial Reviews

Review

'This clearly written and dryly witty book, though avowedly a work of scholarship, is also packed with anecdotes and smart quotes, and displays an evident empathy for its keyboard-clattering subjects.' The Independent

'Love Online manages to present a fine combination of engaging reading, comprehensive research and stimulating philosophical debate.' Jerusalem Post

'How better to enhance the higher pleasures of philosophy than with the gratifications of voyeurism? Just such an occasion for compound joys is afforded by Aaron Ben-Ze'ev's charming investigation into internet affairs and their implications for the future of love, sex and marriage.' Philosophy in Review

Book Description

Computers have changed not just the way we work but the way we love. Falling in and out of love, flirting, cheating, even having sex online have all become part of the modern way of living and loving. Yet we know very little about these new types of relationship. How is an online affair different from an affair in the real world? Is online sex still cheating? Accessible, shocking, entertaining, this book addresses these and many other questions and will change the way you look at cyberspace and love for ever.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 302 pages
• Publisher: Cambridge University Press (January 19, 2004)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0521832969
• ISBN-13: 978-0521832960
• Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 5.9 x 1.2 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #723,725 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Insightful, April 20, 2009

By 

Kimberly Brown "Kimberly Max Brown" (Williamstown NJ) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Love Online: Emotions on the Internet (Hardcover)

I thought this book was very insightful. I wanted to learn more about how people express affection on the internet. "Love Online" explained in a scholarly fashion just how the internet may encourage the kind of conversational yet increasingly intimate chat and e-mail that often gets people into trouble with their relationships.

Ben Ze'ev is a philosopher, much more so than a psychoanalyst. He is keen to demonstrate how the philosophical mores of the internet (independence, lack of censorship, etc.) break down the usual barriers to intimacy (shyness, vulnerability, truth, attraction, availability, etc.). Thus, the power inherent in internet communication fosters immense changes in traditional social relationships.

Ben Ze'ev reinforces the old adage that the mind is most sexual organ, while highlighting the ways the internet is conditioned to sustain romantic and sexual cerebral play. Once the communicators begin their online exchange, qualities that are most keenly activated among offline lovers emerge. However, the links between the two conversants remain tenuous and ephemeral. Out of this soup of verbal chat, IM, e-mail, web videos, and blogging, many of the real world circumstances that seem to contain offline relationship disappear. For instance, regarding marriage, the author describes in great detail how the internet may undermine a commitment by flooding it with illicit sexual and romantic communication without the knowledge or consent of both partners. Though emotional and sexual infidelity of this sort may be obvious to some, what is not so apparent are the mechanisms in the human psyche that make this so attractive and powerful in the first place. Further, the author also details how such verbal intimacy is introducing new norms in marriage, such as sexually open, internet-based relationships.

In the end, Ben Ze'ev is making a strong case for the transformation of modern marriage into a relationship that accommodates internet influenced intimacies. For those who have fallen prey to internet romantic and sexual love, and the unfulfilled hopes and expectations that usually arise, this book will help to understand what happened. Anyone who thinks that legislating marriage between one man and one woman is useful hasn't spent much time lately using the internet.

3 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The best book ever on the lures of the cyberspace, April 27, 2006

By 

Britta Bergemann (Germany) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Love Online: Emotions on the Internet (Hardcover)

This is, quite easily, the best book ever on the potential lures of the cyberspace; a unique analysis of one of the hottest topics of our times.

The book should be of tremendous value for academics and the interested public alike. The analysis of emotions - online and offline - is based on comprehensive academic research and previous work done by the author (Ben-Ze'ev, A. (2000). The Subtlety of Emotions. Cambridge, MA: MIT Press; also available at Amazon), and is combined with insightful perspectives on the aims and ends of online relationships. The style of writing is analytically sharp, witty and poetic at the same time.

0 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The Most Complete Book About Internet Relationships!, November 6, 2006

By 

Maria E. Oliveira (Rio de Janeiro, Brazil) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Love Online: Emotions on the Internet (Hardcover)

I liked very much this book, because it's the most complete book about the relationships that occur in the Internet I've ever found. It's helping me a lot in my post-graduation course.