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Love Is an Orientation: Elevating the Conversation with the Gay Community
 
 
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Love Is an Orientation: Elevating the Conversation with the Gay Community [Paperback]

Andrew Marin (Author), Brian McLaren (Foreword)
4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (42 customer reviews)

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Book Description

March 25, 2009
2010 Outreach Magazine Resource of the Year Award winner: culture category 2010 Golden Canon Leadership Book Award winner Relevant Magazine: Top 20 Best Overall Books of 2009 winner Englewood Review of Books: Top 20 Best Overall Books of 2009 winner Christian Manifesto 2009 Lime Award winner Andrew Marin's life changed forever when his three best friends came out to him in three consecutive months. Suddenly he was confronted with the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community (GLBT) firsthand. And he was compelled to understand how he could reconcile his friends to his faith. In an attempt to answer that question, he and his wife relocated to Boystown, a predominantly GLBT community in Chicago. And from his experience and wrestling has come his book, Love Is an Orientation, a work which elevates the conversation between Christianity and the GLBT community, moving the focus from genetics to gospel, where it really belongs. Why are so many people who are gay wary of people who are Christians? Do GLBT people need to change who they are? Do Christians need to change what they believe? Love Is an Orientation is changing the conversation about sexuality and spirituality, and building bridges from the GLBT community to the Christian community and, more importantly, to the good news of Jesus Christ.

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Love Is an Orientation: Elevating the Conversation with the Gay Community + Washed and Waiting: Reflections on Christian Faithfulness and Homosexuality + Homosexuality and the Christian: A Guide for Parents, Pastors, and Friends
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Editorial Reviews

Review

"I have to say I totally recommend this book. The church has not loved the GLBT community well and Andrew is helping to change that. Love Is an Orientation is a great book to read if you're interested in how bridges can be built between these two communities. It's well written and a pretty quick read. It is very informational and applicable but also stretching." (Imago Andei (andrewmeans.typepad.com), April 21, 2009 )

"In summary, this ultra-conservative, self-proclaimed 'homophobe' felt God draw him into conversation and ministry with Chicago's gay and lesbian community. He's been at it for about six years now, and with great success. His book is a guide for those of us who want to learn from his experience how best to engage the gay community." (Brandon O'Brien, Off the Agenda (blog.buildingchurchleaders.com), March 27, 2009 )

"Marin forced me to think outside my usual categories in ways that made me uncomfortable at times. But his bottom line offers a whole lot more hope than anything else on the subject I've read recently." (Cynthia Bezek, Discipleship Journal, May/June 2009 )

"I'm hoping to write a book in the next few months. I have something I want to say and I think it's important. But I want you to hear what I am about to say: If you had two books to choose from, whatever I will write and what Andrew Marin has written in Love Is an Orientation, I would want you to buy Andrew's book. What Andrew Marin has written in this book isn't just interesting. It is absolutely vital that evangelicals hear what Marin is saying about the state of things between Gays and Evangelicals. Love Is an Orientation is a must buy. In fact, buy two or three. Don't just read it; get someone else to read it. Marin's book isn't about exercising an agenda. It's a book that grows out of the Gospel, out of the incarnate God's love for all persons, out of refusal to be torn apart on the usual talking points and out of ministry to people who need Christ. Unhesitatingly recommended in the highest possible terms." (The Internet Monk (internetmonk.com), May 3, 2009 )

"I highly recommend this book as a must read for every Christian." (Armybarmy REMIX (armybarmyremix.blogspot.com), April 24, 2009 )

"I believe Marin is doing something truly extraordinary in his work and in this book. I think it's going to be very important in Evangelical and conservative-ish Christian circles. If you are someone who cares about the church and also longs for any sort of progress in a positive direction on the church's obsession with the gays (or--maybe I should say--overwhelming amount of energy focused on the issue) I would put this book at #1 on your priority of books to read." (Young Anabaptist Radicals (young.anabaptistradicals.org), May 17, 2009 )

"I read this book in 24 hours. I could not put it down and have been recommending it to others ever since. Why? Simply because Andrew's life and ministry is a testimony of what love, God's unconditional love, looks like and should look like in His Church. This kind of love is about freedom: the freedom to love others without worrying about the outcome." (Karrie H., Book Bargains and Previews (bookbargainsandpreviews.com), July 2009 )

"I've been searching for a good Christian book that deals with the topic of gays and lesbians, and I believe this one is it. What I liked most about this book was that he brings back the word 'love' to the foreground. Marin emphasizes having true relationships with the GLBT community, not just lip service. He strongly encourages Christians to look past sexual orientation and focus on real friendships. And he reminds the church: it is not up to us to 'fix' gays, or even to make them Christian. All God requires of us is to love them. Can we trust Him to do the rest? This is a book that needs to be read by all Christians, I think, both gay and straight." (The Café in the Woods (tbonecafe.wordpress.com), July 12, 2009 )

"A courageous step forward in elevating the conversation on gay issues. It sings with a deep love for Christ, for gay people and for the Church. It is not a book that can be read with passive indifference. It offers tangible hope and practical steps forward for those who hear Christ's call to build a bridge toward their gay neighbors." (Wendy Gritter, New Direction Ministries, July 2009 )

"A simple and clear perspective of how authentic Christian love can help build bridges with an often abused or ignored portion of American culture." (Adam Griffin, YouthWorker Journal, July/August 2009 )

"Marin's call to 'be bold' is surprising, refreshing and life-giving." (Craig Detweiler, Outreach, March/April 2010 )

"Clear off all the other books on homosexuality and Christianity and make room for Love Is an Orientation. This is by far the best book I have read on the Christian response to the gay and lesbian community. Who knew it would take a straight, evangelical, white male and former homophobe to write it? Love Is an Orientation takes the conversation to an entirely different level. It is startlingly fresh. Marin's insights come from having done what few other Christians have done--complete immersion in the GLBT community. He is as incarnational in representing Jesus to this population as one can possibly get." (Pursue God (pursuegod.wordpress.com), April 30, 2009 )

"One of my mentors once told me, 'The hard thing about being a bridge is that you get walked on from both ends.' Thank God for those big-hearted people willing to be bridges . . . willing to suffer a lot of abuse and misunderstanding in trying to bring others together. Andrew Marin is one of those bridge-people, and he has laid himself across a huge gap to bring together people who need each other." (Brian McLaren, author, speaker and activist (brianmclaren.net) )

"This is a book unlike any other on the debate about homosexuality in the church. Andrew establishes a new starting place for us all--a definite must-read." (David Roberts, editor of Ex-Gay Watch )

"One of the most important conversations happening in the church. And one of the most divisive. Andrew Marin is a fresh, gracious, innovative voice in the dialogue. For Marin, this is not about a hot-button 'issue'--it is about a face, a friend, a child of God. It is about Jesus, whose love many find hard to grasp because of what they have felt from his followers. Andrew reminds us that, whether conservative or liberal, we can have great ideas and still be mean and self-righteous. And ultimately they will know we are Christians, not by our proof-texting, but by our love." (Shane Claiborne, author, activist, recovering sinner, www.thesimpleway.org )

"Homosexuality is more than a biblical debate about who's right and who's wrong. Everything converges in the pastoral and the personal context, and Andrew Marin--unlike any writer I've seen--deals with real humans in real human contexts. We desperately need this book; it has the potential to shift the evangelical movement in a more compassionate direction." (Scot McKnight, Karl A. Olsson Professor in Religious Studies, North Park University )

"The evangelical church, with a few exceptions, has been stuck with three options when it comes to our thinking and action concerning the gay community. Some remain silent because they're fearful and aren't sure what they believe. Others engage in loud and acerbic speech-making, convinced that they must first address 'conclusive' biblical truth on this special sin before any possible conversation could even begin. Still others attempt to adopt a 'love the sinner but hate the sin' perspective that sounds good on paper but seems to play out in reality as distancing from those perceived sinners. Andrew Marin, thankfully, breaks through these three options with the 'Why haven't we been doing this all along?' approach of love and dialogue. Reading this book feels like Marin just called a time-out, and asked us all to sit in a circle and talk turkey." (Mark Oestreicher, president, Youth Specialties )

"Andrew Marin speaks with a loving, clear voice about an issue that is dividing families, churches and our nation." (Michelle Strombeck, Moody Broadcasting Network )

Review

"Andrew Marin speaks with a loving, clear voice about an issue that is dividing families, churches and our nation."

Product Details

  • Paperback: 205 pages
  • Publisher: IVP Books (March 25, 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0830836268
  • ISBN-13: 978-0830836260
  • Product Dimensions: 8.1 x 5.5 x 0.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (42 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #13,611 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Andrew Marin is the President and Founder of The Marin Foundation (www.themarinfoundation.org), a non-profit organization that seeks to build bridges between the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender (LGBT) and religious communities through scientific research, biblical and social education, and diverse community gatherings. Andrew has been featured on BBC World News, NPR, ABC Family, the 700 Club, GLAAD and 365gay.com among many others. Since 2010 Andrew has been asked by the United Nations to advise their various branches on issues of faith and sexuality. He has recently spoken before world leaders at the UN's International Headquarters in both Geneva, Switzerland and New York City; as well as on Capitol Hill to members of the US Senate. In 2009, on the night before the Inauguration of President Barack Obama, Andrew gave a speech on Capitol Hill called Homophobia and Bridging within the Evangelical Church--which has been archived in the Smithsonian Museum in Washington, DC. Andrew is the author of the award winning book Love Is an Orientation (2009) and a Six Session Love Is an Orientation DVD Curriculum with Participant's Guide (2011). He blogs regularly on cultural issues, faith and sexuality at www.loveisanorientation.com, and lives in the LGBT Boystown neighborhood of Chicago with his wife Brenda. You can connect with him on Facebook (Facebook.com/marin.andrew) and Twitter (@Andrew_Marin).

 

Customer Reviews

42 Reviews
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Average Customer Review
4.7 out of 5 stars (42 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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57 of 64 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Gay Love, April 24, 2009
This review is from: Love Is an Orientation: Elevating the Conversation with the Gay Community (Paperback)
In a world that increasingly welcomes and accepts those of the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transsexual (GLBT) orientation, Christians must open their eyes and ears to what GLBT people are saying about God, the Scriptures, the church, and human sexuality. This is especially true if we want to minister among them.

Furthermore, the GLBT issue is increasingly being brought up on television and in politics. Numerous states are passing laws legalizing same-sex marriage. Therefore, it is vitally important for Christians to know how to respond to these situations, not only in truth, but also in love.

Andrew Marin is one Christian who is pioneering the way.

In his book, Andrew Marin provides an excellent overview of the absolute necessity for Christians to build bridges to those people who are in the GLBT community. As Christ took the initiative and came to us, we must take the initiative in building bridges of hope and love to others.

Thankfully, Andrew Marin is not writing theoretically, but from yeas of experience from living among the GLBT community as the "gayest straight person in the world."

The book provides excellent insights and guidelines for working alongside and developing relationships with people in the GLBT community. For example, Andrew advises the four of the most important things Christians can do are (1) love, (2) listen, (3) don't judge, and (4) seek friendship and conversation. Also, he recommends we stop saying "Love the sinner; hate the sin" and referring to those in the GLBT community as "homosexuals." Both, he explains, are derogatory.

One helpful feature of the book is the answers to the five main questions that are on the minds of most Christians. The questions are:

1. Do you think that gays and lesbians are born that way?
2. Do you think homosexuality is a sin?
3. Can a GLBT person change?
4. Do you think that someone can be gay and a Christian?
5. Are GLBT people going to hell?

I imagine that as you read this short review, one or two of these questions crossed your mind as well. I believe that Marin provided some excellent answers to these questions in his book. Sadly, I don't have room to reproduce the answers here...so I guess you'll just have to buy and read the book for yourself.
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32 of 37 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars Love Is An Orientation - Andrew Marin, November 13, 2009
This review is from: Love Is an Orientation: Elevating the Conversation with the Gay Community (Paperback)
It's become one of the main issues of our time. It's a spiritual question, a relational question, and, in past decades, a highly politicized one. You'll find extremely strong opinions on both sides, and these polarized opinions can lead to confrontation, heated argument, broken relationships, even violence.

The issue: homosexuality.

The complexity of the issue is sometimes hidden beneath the same old rhetoric from both sides. One side tends to boil it down to a simple injunction to stop, often in very insensitive ways. The other side, defensive and angry, has its own tendencies to resort to inflammatory language and hate of its own. How can a bridge be built between these two communities?

Enter Andrew Marin and his book, Love is an Orientation.

Let me be clear about something up front. As a conservative (both theologically and politically), bible-believing Christian, I found a decent amount in this book that I disagreed with. I even found myself answering some of Marin's statements out loud. For the most part, however, I found myself challenged to take on a quality that the Christian community claims to value: empathy.

That's really the strength of this book. You might not agree with all that Marin says (I certainly didn't), but his ability to put you in the shoes of members of the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered (GLBT) community is powerful. This is a quality missing from much of the discussion Christians have regarding the issue of homosexuality. It's easy to look at the passages in the bible that condemn homosexuality and think things are clear-cut; don't do it. The issue isn't really that simple, however, for GLBT people who desire to walk with God, but struggle to reconcile their sexual desires with God's revelations in scripture. Others who don't want anything to do with God simply hear a condemnation of their identity from Christians, which only confirms they want nothing to do with the God of those people.

Andrew Marin has learned empathy by immersing himself in Boystown, the GLBT neighborhood in Chicago, and forming The Marin Foundation, which works to build bridges between the GLBT community and the Christian community. Marin draws from this experience throughout the book, sharing stories of GLBT people he's encountered, detailing their stories and struggles. Some are powerful. Some give hope. Some of downright depressing. The same can be said of people from any group. Marin successfully and powerfully puts a human face on the issue, which is sorely needed for many to see.

There are a few problems with the book, though. For one, Marin never really articulates accurately what the gospel is and how it applies to the GLBT community. He talks about them having an "authentic relationship with God," but there's no discussion of specifically how Jesus' death on the cross saves people from God's wrath against their sin, enabling that relationship to happen. I'm certain Marin understands this, but I would have loved to hear a discussion of this in the context of the GLBT community. He's just a little too vague on the gospel for me.

He also refuses to really answer the question of whether or not homosexuality is a sin. I understand why he does this for the purposes of the book, but it just left me thinking that it eventually has to be answered for GLBT people at some point. He seems content leaving that decision up to the individuals and letting the Holy Spirit speak to them on the validity of their sexuality. I agree the Holy Spirit is the one who convicts of sin, but we're also called to help each other identify sin in our lives.

These issues aside, I think this is an important book for furthering (and elevating, as Marin puts it) the discussion. There are still many questions that beg for answers, and I believe those answers are there, but the discussion needs to be re-framed. I believe that happens when Christians really put themselves in the shoes of GLBT people, really love them regardless of whether or not they ever change their lifestyle. We don't have to water-down the truth, but love for the people that truth is affecting needs a more prominent place. That's the main thrust of the book, and it's an important message.
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18 of 20 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars yes, it is all about love, June 2, 2009
This review is from: Love Is an Orientation: Elevating the Conversation with the Gay Community (Paperback)
first of all let me say that i'm a muslim, and a happy one at that. i truly connected with, however, the spiritual love that is present in andrew marin's message. i think the reason i can feel so connected to this christian message is that i have met many gay christians or former christians who felt so spiritually alienated by other christians. and here is a straight man working in the gay community to bring love. talk about being a pioneer. and his message is not a blind love for the gay community, either. i love that andrew marin is able to bring a balanced, real, straight (no pun intended) message full of love to people on both sides on this issue. he covers a lot of particular issues in his book. he deals with the subject of coming out. he talks about the political, stigma, and the shame glbt people experience in the culture. he talks about the fact that we are all seeking validation, all of us - queer or straight. and then he launches his program of how to reach the community, how christians can bring the love back-- so to speak. can you feel the love?

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unconditional behaviors, someone into heaven, cognizant decision, gay pastor, fourth ideal
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