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Love Is an Orientation: Elevating the Conversation with the Gay Community [Paperback]

Andrew Marin , Brian McLaren
4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (60 customer reviews)

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Book Description

March 31, 2009
2010 Outreach Magazine Resource of the Year Award winner: culture category

2010 Golden Canon Book Award winner

: Top 20 Best Overall Books of 2009 winner

Englewood Review of Books: Top 20 Best Overall Books of 2009 winner

Christian Manifesto 2009 Lime Award winner




Andrew Marin's life changed forever when his three best friends came out to him in three consecutive months. Suddenly he was confronted with the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community (GLBT) firsthand. And he was compelled to understand how he could reconcile his friends to his faith.

In an attempt to answer that question, he and his wife relocated to Boystown, a predominantly GLBT community in Chicago. And from his experience and wrestling has come his book, a work which elevates the conversation between Christianity and the GLBT community, moving the focus from genetics to gospel, where it really belongs.

Why are so many people who are gay wary of people who are Christians? Do GLBT people need to change who they are? Do Christians need to change what they believe? is changing the conversation about sexuality and spirituality, and building bridges from the GLBT community to the Christian community and, more importantly, to the good news of Jesus Christ.

Frequently Bought Together

Love Is an Orientation: Elevating the Conversation with the Gay Community + Torn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays-vs.-Christians Debate + Washed and Waiting: Reflections on Christian Faithfulness and Homosexuality
Price for all three: $40.96

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Editorial Reviews

Review

"I have to say I totally recommend this book. The church has not loved the GLBT community well and Andrew is helping to change that. Love Is an Orientation is a great book to read if you're interested in how bridges can be built between these two communities. It's well written and a pretty quick read. It is very informational and applicable but also stretching." (Imago Andei (andrewmeans.typepad.com), April 21, 2009)

"In summary, this ultra-conservative, self-proclaimed 'homophobe' felt God draw him into conversation and ministry with Chicago's gay and lesbian community. He's been at it for about six years now, and with great success. His book is a guide for those of us who want to learn from his experience how best to engage the gay community." (Brandon O'Brien, Off the Agenda (blog.buildingchurchleaders.com), March 27, 2009)

"Marin forced me to think outside my usual categories in ways that made me uncomfortable at times. But his bottom line offers a whole lot more hope than anything else on the subject I've read recently." (Cynthia Bezek, Discipleship Journal, May/June 2009)

"I'm hoping to write a book in the next few months. I have something I want to say and I think it's important. But I want you to hear what I am about to say: If you had two books to choose from, whatever I will write and what Andrew Marin has written in Love Is an Orientation, I would want you to buy Andrew's book. What Andrew Marin has written in this book isn't just interesting. It is absolutely vital that evangelicals hear what Marin is saying about the state of things between Gays and Evangelicals. Love Is an Orientation is a must buy. In fact, buy two or three. Don't just read it; get someone else to read it. Marin's book isn't about exercising an agenda. It's a book that grows out of the Gospel, out of the incarnate God's love for all persons, out of refusal to be torn apart on the usual talking points and out of ministry to people who need Christ. Unhesitatingly recommended in the highest possible terms." (The Internet Monk (internetmonk.com), May 3, 2009)

"I highly recommend this book as a must read for every Christian." (Armybarmy REMIX (armybarmyremix.blogspot.com), April 24, 2009)

"I believe Marin is doing something truly extraordinary in his work and in this book. I think it's going to be very important in Evangelical and conservative-ish Christian circles. If you are someone who cares about the church and also longs for any sort of progress in a positive direction on the church's obsession with the gays (or--maybe I should say--overwhelming amount of energy focused on the issue) I would put this book at #1 on your priority of books to read." (Young Anabaptist Radicals (young.anabaptistradicals.org), May 17, 2009)

"I read this book in 24 hours. I could not put it down and have been recommending it to others ever since. Why? Simply because Andrew's life and ministry is a testimony of what love, God's unconditional love, looks like and should look like in His Church. This kind of love is about freedom: the freedom to love others without worrying about the outcome." (Karrie H., Book Bargains and Previews (bookbargainsandpreviews.com), July 2009)

"I've been searching for a good Christian book that deals with the topic of gays and lesbians, and I believe this one is it. What I liked most about this book was that he brings back the word 'love' to the foreground. Marin emphasizes having true relationships with the GLBT community, not just lip service. He strongly encourages Christians to look past sexual orientation and focus on real friendships. And he reminds the church: it is not up to us to 'fix' gays, or even to make them Christian. All God requires of us is to love them. Can we trust Him to do the rest? This is a book that needs to be read by all Christians, I think, both gay and straight." (The Café in the Woods (tbonecafe.wordpress.com), July 12, 2009)

"A courageous step forward in elevating the conversation on gay issues. It sings with a deep love for Christ, for gay people and for the Church. It is not a book that can be read with passive indifference. It offers tangible hope and practical steps forward for those who hear Christ's call to build a bridge toward their gay neighbors." (Wendy Gritter, New Direction Ministries, July 2009)

"A simple and clear perspective of how authentic Christian love can help build bridges with an often abused or ignored portion of American culture." (Adam Griffin, YouthWorker Journal, July/August 2009)

"Marin's call to 'be bold' is surprising, refreshing and life-giving." (Craig Detweiler, Outreach, March/April 2010)

"Clear off all the other books on homosexuality and Christianity and make room for Love Is an Orientation. This is by far the best book I have read on the Christian response to the gay and lesbian community. Who knew it would take a straight, evangelical, white male and former homophobe to write it? Love Is an Orientation takes the conversation to an entirely different level. It is startlingly fresh. Marin's insights come from having done what few other Christians have done--complete immersion in the GLBT community. He is as incarnational in representing Jesus to this population as one can possibly get." (Pursue God (pursuegod.wordpress.com), April 30, 2009)

"One of my mentors once told me, 'The hard thing about being a bridge is that you get walked on from both ends.' Thank God for those big-hearted people willing to be bridges . . . willing to suffer a lot of abuse and misunderstanding in trying to bring others together. Andrew Marin is one of those bridge-people, and he has laid himself across a huge gap to bring together people who need each other." (Brian McLaren, author, speaker and activist (brianmclaren.net))

"This is a book unlike any other on the debate about homosexuality in the church. Andrew establishes a new starting place for us all--a definite must-read." (David Roberts, editor of Ex-Gay Watch)

"One of the most important conversations happening in the church. And one of the most divisive. Andrew Marin is a fresh, gracious, innovative voice in the dialogue. For Marin, this is not about a hot-button 'issue'--it is about a face, a friend, a child of God. It is about Jesus, whose love many find hard to grasp because of what they have felt from his followers. Andrew reminds us that, whether conservative or liberal, we can have great ideas and still be mean and self-righteous. And ultimately they will know we are Christians, not by our proof-texting, but by our love." (Shane Claiborne, author, activist, recovering sinner, www.thesimpleway.org)

"Homosexuality is more than a biblical debate about who's right and who's wrong. Everything converges in the pastoral and the personal context, and Andrew Marin--unlike any writer I've seen--deals with real humans in real human contexts. We desperately need this book; it has the potential to shift the evangelical movement in a more compassionate direction." (Scot McKnight, Karl A. Olsson Professor in Religious Studies, North Park University)

"The evangelical church, with a few exceptions, has been stuck with three options when it comes to our thinking and action concerning the gay community. Some remain silent because they're fearful and aren't sure what they believe. Others engage in loud and acerbic speech-making, convinced that they must first address 'conclusive' biblical truth on this special sin before any possible conversation could even begin. Still others attempt to adopt a 'love the sinner but hate the sin' perspective that sounds good on paper but seems to play out in reality as distancing from those perceived sinners. Andrew Marin, thankfully, breaks through these three options with the 'Why haven't we been doing this all along?' approach of love and dialogue. Reading this book feels like Marin just called a time-out, and asked us all to sit in a circle and talk turkey." (Mark Oestreicher, president, Youth Specialties)

"Andrew Marin speaks with a loving, clear voice about an issue that is dividing families, churches and our nation." (Michelle Strombeck, Moody Broadcasting Network)

Review

"Andrew Marin speaks with a loving, clear voice about an issue that is dividing families, churches and our nation."

Product Details

  • Paperback: 205 pages
  • Publisher: IVP Books (March 31, 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0830836268
  • ISBN-13: 978-0830836260
  • Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.5 x 0.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (60 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #27,898 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Andrew Marin is the President and Founder of The Marin Foundation (www.themarinfoundation.org). He has a BA in Applied Psychology from the University of Illinois-Chicago, and an MA in Urban Studies with concentrations in Social Change and Theology from Eastern University. Andrew is the author of the award winning book Love Is an Orientation (2009), and its interactive six-session DVD Curriculum (2011). Since 2010 Andrew has advised various agencies of the United Nations on issues of faith, sexuality and cultural aspects of reconciliation. He has recently spoken before world leaders at the United Nations International Headquarters in both Geneva, Switzerland and New York City, and to members of the US Senate on Capitol Hill. Andrew's speech Homophobia and Bridging from within the Evangelical Church--given on Capitol Hill the night before the Inauguration of President Barack Obama in 2009--is archived in the Smithsonian Museum in Washington, DC. Andrew has been featured on the BBC World News, NPR, CBS, ABC, GLAAD, 700 Club, Dallas Morning News, Christian Post and is a regular guest on American's most listened to Christian radio program, The Frank Pastore Show, among others. He lives in the LGBT Boystown neighborhood of Chicago with his wife Brenda, and blogs on cultural issues, faith and sexuality at www.loveisanorientation.com. You can connect with him on Facebook (Facebook.com/AndrewMarin01) and Twitter (@Andrew_Marin).

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
63 of 68 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Love Is An Orientation - Andrew Marin November 13, 2009
Format:Paperback
It's become one of the main issues of our time. It's a spiritual question, a relational question, and, in past decades, a highly politicized one. You'll find extremely strong opinions on both sides, and these polarized opinions can lead to confrontation, heated argument, broken relationships, even violence.

The issue: homosexuality.

The complexity of the issue is sometimes hidden beneath the same old rhetoric from both sides. One side tends to boil it down to a simple injunction to stop, often in very insensitive ways. The other side, defensive and angry, has its own tendencies to resort to inflammatory language and hate of its own. How can a bridge be built between these two communities?

Enter Andrew Marin and his book, Love is an Orientation.

Let me be clear about something up front. As a conservative (both theologically and politically), bible-believing Christian, I found a decent amount in this book that I disagreed with. I even found myself answering some of Marin's statements out loud. For the most part, however, I found myself challenged to take on a quality that the Christian community claims to value: empathy.

That's really the strength of this book. You might not agree with all that Marin says (I certainly didn't), but his ability to put you in the shoes of members of the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered (GLBT) community is powerful. This is a quality missing from much of the discussion Christians have regarding the issue of homosexuality. It's easy to look at the passages in the bible that condemn homosexuality and think things are clear-cut; don't do it. The issue isn't really that simple, however, for GLBT people who desire to walk with God, but struggle to reconcile their sexual desires with God's revelations in scripture. Others who don't want anything to do with God simply hear a condemnation of their identity from Christians, which only confirms they want nothing to do with the God of those people.

Andrew Marin has learned empathy by immersing himself in Boystown, the GLBT neighborhood in Chicago, and forming The Marin Foundation, which works to build bridges between the GLBT community and the Christian community. Marin draws from this experience throughout the book, sharing stories of GLBT people he's encountered, detailing their stories and struggles. Some are powerful. Some give hope. Some of downright depressing. The same can be said of people from any group. Marin successfully and powerfully puts a human face on the issue, which is sorely needed for many to see.

There are a few problems with the book, though. For one, Marin never really articulates accurately what the gospel is and how it applies to the GLBT community. He talks about them having an "authentic relationship with God," but there's no discussion of specifically how Jesus' death on the cross saves people from God's wrath against their sin, enabling that relationship to happen. I'm certain Marin understands this, but I would have loved to hear a discussion of this in the context of the GLBT community. He's just a little too vague on the gospel for me.

He also refuses to really answer the question of whether or not homosexuality is a sin. I understand why he does this for the purposes of the book, but it just left me thinking that it eventually has to be answered for GLBT people at some point. He seems content leaving that decision up to the individuals and letting the Holy Spirit speak to them on the validity of their sexuality. I agree the Holy Spirit is the one who convicts of sin, but we're also called to help each other identify sin in our lives.

These issues aside, I think this is an important book for furthering (and elevating, as Marin puts it) the discussion. There are still many questions that beg for answers, and I believe those answers are there, but the discussion needs to be re-framed. I believe that happens when Christians really put themselves in the shoes of GLBT people, really love them regardless of whether or not they ever change their lifestyle. We don't have to water-down the truth, but love for the people that truth is affecting needs a more prominent place. That's the main thrust of the book, and it's an important message.
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67 of 78 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Gay Love April 24, 2009
Format:Paperback
In a world that increasingly welcomes and accepts those of the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transsexual (GLBT) orientation, Christians must open their eyes and ears to what GLBT people are saying about God, the Scriptures, the church, and human sexuality. This is especially true if we want to minister among them.

Furthermore, the GLBT issue is increasingly being brought up on television and in politics. Numerous states are passing laws legalizing same-sex marriage. Therefore, it is vitally important for Christians to know how to respond to these situations, not only in truth, but also in love.

Andrew Marin is one Christian who is pioneering the way.

In his book, Andrew Marin provides an excellent overview of the absolute necessity for Christians to build bridges to those people who are in the GLBT community. As Christ took the initiative and came to us, we must take the initiative in building bridges of hope and love to others.

Thankfully, Andrew Marin is not writing theoretically, but from yeas of experience from living among the GLBT community as the "gayest straight person in the world."

The book provides excellent insights and guidelines for working alongside and developing relationships with people in the GLBT community. For example, Andrew advises the four of the most important things Christians can do are (1) love, (2) listen, (3) don't judge, and (4) seek friendship and conversation. Also, he recommends we stop saying "Love the sinner; hate the sin" and referring to those in the GLBT community as "homosexuals." Both, he explains, are derogatory.

One helpful feature of the book is the answers to the five main questions that are on the minds of most Christians. The questions are:

1. Do you think that gays and lesbians are born that way?
2. Do you think homosexuality is a sin?
3. Can a GLBT person change?
4. Do you think that someone can be gay and a Christian?
5. Are GLBT people going to hell?

I imagine that as you read this short review, one or two of these questions crossed your mind as well. I believe that Marin provided some excellent answers to these questions in his book. Sadly, I don't have room to reproduce the answers here...so I guess you'll just have to buy and read the book for yourself.
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23 of 25 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Very helpful approach to a very divisive issue September 2, 2009
Format:Paperback
This book is a welcome contribution to the discussion about the rift between Jesus' conservative followers and the mainstream gay culture. I believe it will speak to people all across the spectrum. For instance, I am a Christian. I also happen to be gay. I also have chosen to be celibate. But my choice to do so doesn't mean I think that's the best way for all gay people. I grew up a conservative evangelical, and that's the world I know best and am most comfortable in. But I identify as gay, and I am post-belief that God's intent for me is to change my orientation. So where does someone like me go?

Believe it or not, the self-described "straight, white, Bible-banging, conservative evangelical" former homophobe Andrew Marin has a great deal to offer me. I first heard Andrew speak at the National Pastor's Convention in San Diego 2009. I can't tell you how excited and hopeful it made me to hear a voice from the conservative evangelical community advocating for a new approach from Christians toward LGBT people - he had me in tears that day.

I believe this, one of Andy's fundamental principles established in the book, rings very true: that if there is to be any change, mitigation, or lessening of the verbally (and sometimes physically) violent culture war between gay people and Christians, it is the Christian's responsibility and call to lay down our arms and take a new, humble approach to loving the gay community. Mainstream gay culture has no motivation to do so; Christians, however, have the greatest sort of motivation - the love Jesus has given us to share.

I don't care who you are or where on the spectrum you find yourself - if you care about this issue at all, Andy's story and message will benefit you.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars A must read for those in ministry
EVERYONE should read this book. If you are a pastor, youth worker or a parent this should be on your list to read and understand!
Published 6 days ago by camcolwill
5.0 out of 5 stars Simply awesome
If I had a million bucks, I'd buy a copy for every Christian I know. Andrew's message is SO needed, now more than ever.
Published 7 days ago by R. ANDRESCIK
5.0 out of 5 stars Thank goodness
As an LGBT individual from an evangelical family, the majority of the people I love the most are either gay or Christian and I have long struggled to explain and nurture these... Read more
Published 1 month ago by Paige
5.0 out of 5 stars Thought provoking
Very well written. I would suggest watching the videos that go with the study guide as well. Thank you for this perspective.
Published 1 month ago by Agnes OK
4.0 out of 5 stars This is an insightful alternative way to look at this relationship...
The book was recommended by my pastor and it was a great read.
Whereas it did not change my understanding of the bible. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Eric Ramlow
5.0 out of 5 stars An Important Piece for a Confusing Time in History
Andrew Marin has hit the nail on the head. My church is walking in the Portland AIDS Walk this fall (September 2013), and I've been asked the question, "What if someone says,... Read more
Published 2 months ago by Pastor Tim
1.0 out of 5 stars Waited a while, but it's time for a review
It is hard to critiqe a book by a person who seems to have a passion to reach out to the homosexual community with the love of Christ, but I must because it is the concept of the... Read more
Published 2 months ago by J. WHITE
5.0 out of 5 stars Much More than I Expected Gained From Reading this Book
I read this book open to its mission, and hopeful that it could deliver. It not only greatly exceeded my expectations, it gave me some food for thought that transcend the topic at... Read more
Published 2 months ago by Astronomy Student's Mom
5.0 out of 5 stars I loved this book
I gave this book five stars because it challenges us to do exactly what Jesus asks us to do - love others as ourselves. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Tonya Whitman
5.0 out of 5 stars LOVE IS AN ORIENTATION BY ANDREW MARIN
This book shook the very foundations of my understanding the basics of the Christian faith. I don’t mean to sound melodramatic, but my Biblical position, attitude and opinion of... Read more
Published 3 months ago by HRGILL
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