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Love Is an Orientation: Elevating the Conversation with the Gay Community

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In a world that increasingly welcomes and accepts those of the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transsexual (GLBT) orientation, Christians must open their eyes and ears to what GLBT people are saying about God, the Scriptures, the church, and human sexuality. This is especially true if we want to minister among them.

Furthermore, the GLBT issue is increasingly being brought up on television and in politics. Numerous states are passing laws legalizing same-sex marriage. Therefore, it is vitally important for Christians to know how to respond to these situations, not only in truth, but also in love.

Andrew Marin is one Christian who is pioneering the way.

In his book, Andrew Marin provides an excellent overview of the absolute necessity for Christians to build bridges to those people who are in the GLBT community. As Christ took the initiative and came to us, we must take the initiative in building bridges of hope and love to others.

Thankfully, Andrew Marin is not writing theoretically, but from yeas of experience from living among the GLBT community as the "gayest straight person in the world."

The book provides excellent insights and guidelines for working alongside and developing relationships with people in the GLBT community. For example, Andrew advises the four of the most important things Christians can do are (1) love, (2) listen, (3) don't judge, and (4) seek friendship and conversation. Also, he recommends we stop saying "Love the sinner; hate the sin" and referring to those in the GLBT community as "homosexuals." Both, he explains, are derogatory.

One helpful feature of the book is the answers to the five main questions that are on the minds of most Christians. The questions are:

1. Do you think that gays and lesbians are born that way?
2. Do you think homosexuality is a sin?
3. Can a GLBT person change?
4. Do you think that someone can be gay and a Christian?
5. Are GLBT people going to hell?

I imagine that as you read this short review, one or two of these questions crossed your mind as well. I believe that Marin provided some excellent answers to these questions in his book. Sadly, I don't have room to reproduce the answers here...so I guess you'll just have to buy and read the book for yourself.

It's become one of the main issues of our time. It's a spiritual question, a relational question, and, in past decades, a highly politicized one. You'll find extremely strong opinions on both sides, and these polarized opinions can lead to confrontation, heated argument, broken relationships, even violence.

The issue: homosexuality.

The complexity of the issue is sometimes hidden beneath the same old rhetoric from both sides. One side tends to boil it down to a simple injunction to stop, often in very insensitive ways. The other side, defensive and angry, has its own tendencies to resort to inflammatory language and hate of its own. How can a bridge be built between these two communities?

Enter Andrew Marin and his book, Love is an Orientation.

Let me be clear about something up front. As a conservative (both theologically and politically), bible-believing Christian, I found a decent amount in this book that I disagreed with. I even found myself answering some of Marin's statements out loud. For the most part, however, I found myself challenged to take on a quality that the Christian community claims to value: empathy.

That's really the strength of this book. You might not agree with all that Marin says (I certainly didn't), but his ability to put you in the shoes of members of the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered (GLBT) community is powerful. This is a quality missing from much of the discussion Christians have regarding the issue of homosexuality. It's easy to look at the passages in the bible that condemn homosexuality and think things are clear-cut; don't do it. The issue isn't really that simple, however, for GLBT people who desire to walk with God, but struggle to reconcile their sexual desires with God's revelations in scripture. Others who don't want anything to do with God simply hear a condemnation of their identity from Christians, which only confirms they want nothing to do with the God of those people.

Andrew Marin has learned empathy by immersing himself in Boystown, the GLBT neighborhood in Chicago, and forming The Marin Foundation, which works to build bridges between the GLBT community and the Christian community. Marin draws from this experience throughout the book, sharing stories of GLBT people he's encountered, detailing their stories and struggles. Some are powerful. Some give hope. Some of downright depressing. The same can be said of people from any group. Marin successfully and powerfully puts a human face on the issue, which is sorely needed for many to see.

There are a few problems with the book, though. For one, Marin never really articulates accurately what the gospel is and how it applies to the GLBT community. He talks about them having an "authentic relationship with God," but there's no discussion of specifically how Jesus' death on the cross saves people from God's wrath against their sin, enabling that relationship to happen. I'm certain Marin understands this, but I would have loved to hear a discussion of this in the context of the GLBT community. He's just a little too vague on the gospel for me.

He also refuses to really answer the question of whether or not homosexuality is a sin. I understand why he does this for the purposes of the book, but it just left me thinking that it eventually has to be answered for GLBT people at some point. He seems content leaving that decision up to the individuals and letting the Holy Spirit speak to them on the validity of their sexuality. I agree the Holy Spirit is the one who convicts of sin, but we're also called to help each other identify sin in our lives.

These issues aside, I think this is an important book for furthering (and elevating, as Marin puts it) the discussion. There are still many questions that beg for answers, and I believe those answers are there, but the discussion needs to be re-framed. I believe that happens when Christians really put themselves in the shoes of GLBT people, really love them regardless of whether or not they ever change their lifestyle. We don't have to water-down the truth, but love for the people that truth is affecting needs a more prominent place. That's the main thrust of the book, and it's an important message.

first of all let me say that i'm a muslim, and a happy one at that. i truly connected with, however, the spiritual love that is present in andrew marin's message. i think the reason i can feel so connected to this christian message is that i have met many gay christians or former christians who felt so spiritually alienated by other christians. and here is a straight man working in the gay community to bring love. talk about being a pioneer. and his message is not a blind love for the gay community, either. i love that andrew marin is able to bring a balanced, real, straight (no pun intended) message full of love to people on both sides on this issue. he covers a lot of particular issues in his book. he deals with the subject of coming out. he talks about the political, stigma, and the shame glbt people experience in the culture. he talks about the fact that we are all seeking validation, all of us - queer or straight. and then he launches his program of how to reach the community, how christians can bring the love back-- so to speak. can you feel the love?

I can't put this book down! Andrew blends wisdom, experience and the Biblical message of truth to teach people how to love those who are different from the reader. He explains how to bridge the gap that will create open dialogue and possibly build relationships. I can now envision a day when hate doesn't divide the GLBT community from anyone; including Christians.

Andrew Marin has done a fantastic job of providing the Christian community with a better jumping board into conversation with and interaction with the GLBT community. Most Christians I know aren't uncompassionate toward the GLBT community, but they have no idea how to relate to them without feeling like they're compromising their own beliefs. Andrew provides his own testimony of following Jesus' example of incarnational relationship and ministry to those who are different from us, oppressed by society, and often condemned by the church at large. The book will scare you and encourage you. Something has to change in the Christian-GLBT dynamic, and Andrew has provided a path to a better, and I believe more Christ-like, way to engage.

This book is a welcome contribution to the discussion about the rift between Jesus' conservative followers and the mainstream gay culture. I believe it will speak to people all across the spectrum. For instance, I am a Christian. I also happen to be gay. I also have chosen to be celibate. But my choice to do so doesn't mean I think that's the best way for all gay people. I grew up a conservative evangelical, and that's the world I know best and am most comfortable in. But I identify as gay, and I am post-belief that God's intent for me is to change my orientation. So where does someone like me go?

Believe it or not, the self-described "straight, white, Bible-banging, conservative evangelical" former homophobe Andrew Marin has a great deal to offer me. I first heard Andrew speak at the National Pastor's Convention in San Diego 2009. I can't tell you how excited and hopeful it made me to hear a voice from the conservative evangelical community advocating for a new approach from Christians toward LGBT people - he had me in tears that day.

I believe this, one of Andy's fundamental principles established in the book, rings very true: that if there is to be any change, mitigation, or lessening of the verbally (and sometimes physically) violent culture war between gay people and Christians, it is the Christian's responsibility and call to lay down our arms and take a new, humble approach to loving the gay community. Mainstream gay culture has no motivation to do so; Christians, however, have the greatest sort of motivation - the love Jesus has given us to share.

I don't care who you are or where on the spectrum you find yourself - if you care about this issue at all, Andy's story and message will benefit you.

I literally read this book in 24 hours... I could not put it down and have been recommending it to others ever since. Why? Simply because Andrew's life and ministry is a testimony of what love, God's unconditional love, looks like and should look like in His Church. This kind of love is about freedom: the freedom to love others without worrying about the outcome... the freedom to be loved by others without worrying about the outcome. Oh how I wish that we all could love this way... our world would be turned upside down!

If you love someone in the GLBT community, or even if you do not but want to better know how to engage as a Christian, THIS IS A MUST READ. It will give you hope and understanding in how to walk along side your loved one and the GLBT community. I was totally engrossed. At times I was tearfully moved. Andrew's book has given me clarity. I have been challenged and encouraged. Now I am terrified but hopeful! READ this book. You too will learn how to live in the tension.

I have been following Andrew Marin since 2006 & met him that year. I read his blog, I have heard snippets from messages he has spoken, & now have an e-mail & facebook relationship with him & seek to help him. I had been waiting months to read the book! I am not quite finished with it, but want to say that it is different than I expected. I expected more about his personal life, more liveliness in the writing style, & equal adressing to the GLBT & religious community.
However, what he says needs to be said. He is addressing the evangelical community & teaching us his approach in bridging the gap with GLBTs through somewhat detailed steps/concepts. I already agree with him, but apparently there are many evangelicals who need to hear his message. I think this would make a good textbook for Bible colleges in classes dealing with contemporary issues or sociological/psychological issues. It is reasonably priced & should be part of every evangelical church to make the leaders more aware of the need to bridge these gaps & show more awareness & compassion to this group that has been around for ages, but has been marginalized in Christian thinking for many ages. Let's become more aware. Let's make Love our orientation!

"Love is an Orientation" could have been written by many of us. My last 18 years as out gay man, being involved in of the many diversities of the LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) community and 22 years living totally within a Christian context certainly have given me the insights to pen this work. What makes this book so remarkable is that it is written by a straight, evangelical young man.

Author Andrew Marin's begins his journey when three of his close Christian friends secretly confide in him that they are gay. He realises his only knowledge of homosexuality is based on what others have said; believing that it was a choice and his friends just needed to pray the gay away.

Surprisingly, Andrew feels a call of Gods Spirit to 'immerse' himself into the LGBT community. And here is the key. For over 12 months Andrew lives and socialises in Boystown (LGBT neighbourhood of Chicago) and goes to gay bars, cafes, venues, support groups, political events and social clubs. And so begins his education through real life relationships and God's Spirit challenging him to face his own prejudices.

Within the LGBT community Andrew is an enigma. A straight Christian who doesn't preach but listens; often to heart wrenching stories of rejection and pain. experienced by LGBT people within and outside the church. His heart is touched for ever as he falls in love with the people his previously preconceived concepts would have judged and condemned.

There are valuable lessons and insights in these pages for straight Christians who are sick of the debates and embarrassed by the condemning, insensitive comments of church leaders and right wing extreme groups. There is a growing number of Christian people who believe there is a more Christ-like way to engage and be like the Jesus we read about in the Gospels.; a man who shunned religious exclusivity and reached out to real human beings no matter what their background. Andrew shows them the way.

Andrew's book is both refreshing and touching. I was moved to tears several times as a gay man who spent many years struggling to resolve the perceived conflict between his faith and sexuality. For the LGBT reader, let me reassure you that Andrew gets us and shows there is not only a better way, it's a new day.