Drawing on their expertise on personal growth in the workplace and from their experience with couples in their popular workshops, Morrie and Arleah Shechtman present a new approach that challenges common notions about what makes a good marriage work. They recognize that myths about marriage often lead people to aim for unrealistic ideals. Examining eight myths about relationships—including “Love will carry you through the hard times,” “You need to work on your relationship if you want it to be good,” and “Spending lots of time together is very important”—the book also presents contrasting realities to help strengthen the bond. For those working to build a relationship or struggling to hold one together, this book provides powerful new ways to overcome old behaviors and create a new connection that springs from a shared understanding of one another's needs.
Love in the Present Tense
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Book Description
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Editorial Reviews
About the Author
Morrie Shechtman is a psychotherapist, a teacher, and a counselor who now runs a successful management consulting company. Arleah Shechtman is a psychotherapist with a clinical specialization and works with adolescents, small groups, and people experiencing grief and loss.
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Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
By Morphology
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
My husband and I were on the brink. We didn't really have strong role models in terms of marriage, and after the honeymoon period, we struggled. Nagging, criticism, communication shut downs and feelings of rejection began creeping into the marriage. This book took an interesting approach: It helped us figure out our own personal issues, and then helped us work on the relationship. It took a lot of time and effort, but we put some of their ideas into practice, and now our relationship has never been better. I recommend this book with all my heart. I also wish you luck for whatever reason it is that brings you to search for this book.
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
"Love in the Present Tense" by Morrie and Arleah Shechtman presents ideas that are so intuitively obvious (at least in retrospect) that I found myself wondering why I hadn't written the book myself. With more reflection, I wondered why I hadn't been following their precepts for years. I suppose the answer, at least to the second question, is that what they propose is hard -- it demands more than probably most of us are willing to give. But having acknowledged the difficulty involved, I believe they have written the best "relationship self-help" book of recent years. They are "on to something", and the prospective reader would be well-served by finding out what it is.
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
By L. Sartwell
Format:Paperback
This book is fantastic for everyone as it helps promote ways to improve upon all relationships, not just that of couples. If read with an open mind, suggestions are made for more effective parenting, listening, articulation/communication for all interpersonal interactions of our daily lives, not just with our partner/spouse. Real examples are used to aid readers in the application of the principles Morrie and Arleah suggest, including examples from their own relationship! Additionally, the manner in which "High Intimacy, Low Maintenance" is written allows for a quick read, as well as easy reference of chapters/concepts.
It is so refreshing to hear confirmation that codependence is not a healthy way of life, and that setting limits and boundaries is in fact not only self-preserving, but also begets positive relationships all around. So many people believe that more time equates to more intimacy, when in fact it is not quantity that is most significant, but rather the quality of the time spent.
I plan on buying quite a few additional copies to give to friends who I know would value the advice as much as I did. I love this book and plan to keep it close-at-hand for easy reference in the future; the next time I am experiencing tension in a relationship, I plan to refer to it to help get a fresh, objective perspective on it. Thanks Morrie and Arleah for having the `courage' to put your advise out there in an easy and fun to read book!
It is so refreshing to hear confirmation that codependence is not a healthy way of life, and that setting limits and boundaries is in fact not only self-preserving, but also begets positive relationships all around. So many people believe that more time equates to more intimacy, when in fact it is not quantity that is most significant, but rather the quality of the time spent.
I plan on buying quite a few additional copies to give to friends who I know would value the advice as much as I did. I love this book and plan to keep it close-at-hand for easy reference in the future; the next time I am experiencing tension in a relationship, I plan to refer to it to help get a fresh, objective perspective on it. Thanks Morrie and Arleah for having the `courage' to put your advise out there in an easy and fun to read book!
Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars
Great book for any relationship
I'd recommend this book to anyone in a relationship - whether you're married, engaged, or thinking about getting engaged/married, and also whether you feel happy in your... Read more
Published 13 days ago by AbramJ
5.0 out of 5 stars
Awesome book!
For me, this book provided a fresh, new way to look at conflict, the causes and how to resolve. I'm so glad I found this book. Life changing.
Published 2 months ago by I love my kid
5.0 out of 5 stars
Required reading for my couples!
After two unhappy marriages and painful divorces, I went on a rampage to figure out relationships, especially since I realized in retrospect that I had recreated my parents'... Read more
Published 3 months ago by Mk Middleton
5.0 out of 5 stars
Outstanding resource for rational people
Love in the Present Tense is an incredible self-help book for people who are wanting to work on their own issues behind their relationship woes and not merely "pray" for a miracle. Read more
Published 19 months ago by Mark Frost
5.0 out of 5 stars
A welcomed perspective
The book arrived without a hitch...all the way to Australia. The information, although not all new to me, was exactly what I needed right now. Read more
Published on October 8, 2007 by Jason D. Cheetham
5.0 out of 5 stars
Great read, makes you think about your relationship!
I ended up giving the first book to my best friend while I was back home for a weekend. I really connected with the way the authors linked the childhood and the present. Read more
Published on May 10, 2007 by B. Anderson
5.0 out of 5 stars
The Best Relationship Book Ever
I was drawn to this book after reading about it in Scott Martineau's book, "The Power Of You". He spoke so highly of the authors, I wanted to read what they said. Read more
Published on December 23, 2006 by Peter Ayers
5.0 out of 5 stars
Learning to Understand Ourselves
The writers are good communicators. They teach us that we all have underlining reasons that we haven't identified for ourselves which we must learn to do so that we can... Read more
Published on November 9, 2006 by Jo Ann Galla
5.0 out of 5 stars
Personal discovery + intimate relationship = peace of mind!
Let me began by saying although I love to read and have read many interesting fiction and non-fiction books, this is the first time that I've wanted to take my time to write a... Read more
Published on July 20, 2005 by Passionate Reader
5.0 out of 5 stars
Subscribe to the theory of plenty and read this book
The authors have done a great job creating a guidebook for how to get the most out of marriage while enhancing your own life. It is such a refreshing read. Read more
Published on February 24, 2004 by David Hauptman
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