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Love in the Present Tense: How to Have a High Intimacy, Low Maintenance Marriage Paperback – December 1, 2003


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Love in the Present Tense: How to Have a High Intimacy, Low Maintenance Marriage + Fifth Wave Leadership: The Internal Frontier + Working Without a Net (Silhouette Special Edition)
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 196 pages
  • Publisher: Bull Publishing Company (December 1, 2003)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 092352181X
  • ISBN-13: 978-0923521813
  • Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.4 x 9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (19 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #505,655 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Morrie Shechtman is a psychotherapist, a teacher, and a counselor who now runs a successful management consulting company. Arleah Shechtman is a psychotherapist with a clinical specialization and works with adolescents, small groups, and people experiencing grief and loss.

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Customer Reviews

4.9 out of 5 stars
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I recommend this book with all my heart.
Morphology
This book was wonderful at helping to learn more about myself and be better prepared for marriage.
Amazon Customer
Myth: Trusting your partner is essential to a good relationship.
Mark Frost

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful By Morphology on December 7, 2005
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
My husband and I were on the brink. We didn't really have strong role models in terms of marriage, and after the honeymoon period, we struggled. Nagging, criticism, communication shut downs and feelings of rejection began creeping into the marriage. This book took an interesting approach: It helped us figure out our own personal issues, and then helped us work on the relationship. It took a lot of time and effort, but we put some of their ideas into practice, and now our relationship has never been better. I recommend this book with all my heart. I also wish you luck for whatever reason it is that brings you to search for this book.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful By Mark S. Jordan on July 27, 2005
Format: Paperback
"Love in the Present Tense" by Morrie and Arleah Shechtman presents ideas that are so intuitively obvious (at least in retrospect) that I found myself wondering why I hadn't written the book myself. With more reflection, I wondered why I hadn't been following their precepts for years. I suppose the answer, at least to the second question, is that what they propose is hard -- it demands more than probably most of us are willing to give. But having acknowledged the difficulty involved, I believe they have written the best "relationship self-help" book of recent years. They are "on to something", and the prospective reader would be well-served by finding out what it is.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By L. Sartwell on July 18, 2005
Format: Paperback
This book is fantastic for everyone as it helps promote ways to improve upon all relationships, not just that of couples. If read with an open mind, suggestions are made for more effective parenting, listening, articulation/communication for all interpersonal interactions of our daily lives, not just with our partner/spouse. Real examples are used to aid readers in the application of the principles Morrie and Arleah suggest, including examples from their own relationship! Additionally, the manner in which "High Intimacy, Low Maintenance" is written allows for a quick read, as well as easy reference of chapters/concepts.

It is so refreshing to hear confirmation that codependence is not a healthy way of life, and that setting limits and boundaries is in fact not only self-preserving, but also begets positive relationships all around. So many people believe that more time equates to more intimacy, when in fact it is not quantity that is most significant, but rather the quality of the time spent.

I plan on buying quite a few additional copies to give to friends who I know would value the advice as much as I did. I love this book and plan to keep it close-at-hand for easy reference in the future; the next time I am experiencing tension in a relationship, I plan to refer to it to help get a fresh, objective perspective on it. Thanks Morrie and Arleah for having the `courage' to put your advise out there in an easy and fun to read book!
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By Amazon Customer on July 20, 2005
Format: Paperback
Let me began by saying although I love to read and have read many interesting fiction and non-fiction books, this is the first time that I've wanted to take my time to write a review. I read this book in less than 2 days because what I was learning from it was just that motivating to me. I found this book a wonderful tool in helping to learn more about the person I am. Many things I knew in some fashion but this book helped to put them into perspective and give me ways to better articulate them with others. Although I'm currently not married, I would highly recommend this book for anyone thinking about getting married. It would lay a wonderful foundation so, as a couple, you can formulate what you want and do not want for your marriage, starting with your common values and avoid mistakes that plagued many marriages today. As one reviewer wrote, I too plan to keep this book readily available so I can refer to it often, especially when I find myself over reacting to a given situation. This book was wonderful at helping to learn more about myself and be better prepared for marriage. I brought a copy for my boyfriend to read and when he's done, we plan to discuss it together so that we grow both individually and together.
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5 of 6 people found the following review helpful By David Hauptman on February 24, 2004
Format: Paperback
The authors have done a great job creating a guidebook for how to get the most out of marriage while enhancing your own life. It is such a refreshing read. I found myself stopping to reflect on how each section of the book related to how I live my life and interact with my spouse. Further, I found this book also applies to relationships beyond marriage including business and throughout other personal relationships. Subscribe to the theory of plenty, take the risk and read this book, then live it! You will be happy you did!
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5 of 6 people found the following review helpful By Caroline Hughes on February 11, 2004
Format: Paperback
With divorce rates so high in this country, it's about time for a new approach to relationship maintenance. The authors explain how personal growth, quality communication, and personal responsibility can keep marriages together. It's not all about love and all that feel-good hoopla. It's about personal accountability and growth. Kudos to the authors for digging down to the roots of good relationships.
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9 of 12 people found the following review helpful By Tori Clark on February 11, 2004
Format: Paperback
This book takes a fresh approach at determining and explaining exactly what holds marriages together. We've all heard time and time again that love is the ultimate binding force, but Morrie and Arleah Shechtman assert that Shared Values are what keep relationships strong. They pinpoint eight core values that might be considered radical by some, but after reading and understanding, I have to agree with the authors.
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