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Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires, The Respect He Desperately Needs Paperback – Large Print, April 16, 2010


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Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires, The Respect He Desperately Needs + Love & Respect Workbook: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs + The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 552 pages
  • Publisher: Christian Large Print; Lrg edition (April 16, 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1594153205
  • ISBN-13: 978-1594153204
  • Product Dimensions: 1.2 x 5.5 x 8.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1,524 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #5,846 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From the Inside Flap

Discover the Single Greatest Secret to a Successful Marriage

Psychological studies affirm it, and the Bible has been saying it for ages. Cracking the communication code between husband and wife involves understanding one thing: that unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It's the secret to marriage that every couple seeks, and yet few couples ever find.

Today, you and your mate can start fresh with the ground-breaking guidance that Dr. Emerson Eggerichs provides in this book. His revolutionary message, featured on Focus on the Family, is for anyone: in marital crisis...wanting to stay happily married...who's feeling lonely. It's for engaged couples...victims of affairs...pastors and counselors seeking material that can save a marriage.

Using Dr. Eggerich's breakthrough techniques, couples nationwide are achieving a brand-new level of intimacy and learning how to: - stop the Crazy Cycle of conflict - initiate the Energizing Cycle of change - enjoy the Rewarded Cycle of new passion

And if you'll take this biblically based counsel to heart, your marriage could be next! --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

About the Author

Emerson Eggerichs was the senior pastor of East Lansing’s thriving Trinity Church before launching the Love and Respect Conferences in August 1999, and devoting himself full-time to building healthy marriages. Dr. Eggerichs has a M.A. in communications from Wheaton College, a Masters of Divinity from Dubuque Seminary, and a Ph.D. in child and family ecology from Michigan State University. He and his wife, Sarah, live in Grand Rapids, Michigan, and have three adult children. He is the president of Love and Respect Ministries.
--This text refers to the Audio CD edition.

More About the Author

Emerson Eggerichs and his wife Sarah travel the country conducting the Love and Respect marriage conferences. Before launching Love and Respect Ministries, Emerson was senior pastor of Trinity Church in East Lansing, Michigan for nearly 20 years. Emerson received his B.A. in Biblical Studies and M.A. in Communications from Wheaton College and Graduate School. He was later awarded a Master of Divinity degree from Dubuque Seminary, and a Ph.D. in Child and Family Ecology from Michigan State University. Married since 1973, he and Sarah have three adult children. He is the president of Love and Respect Ministries and author of the best-selling book Love and Respect.

Amazon Author Rankbeta 

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#75 in Books > Self-Help
#75 in Books > Self-Help

Customer Reviews

I would highly recommend that any married couple reads this book.
NDGirl
This book helps men to understand how to better love their wives, while also teaching women how to better respect their husbands.
Gloria
This is the best book you can read to improve relationships and marriage.
Audrey Skaggs

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

548 of 606 people found the following review helpful By A. Cooper on September 21, 2006
Format: Hardcover
I thought the principal behind the book was something that will help virtually every married couple. My husband and I laughed at sections b/c we found some of the anecdotes so spot on to our daily lives. Eggerichs clearly explained to us why we keep going through the "Crazy Cycle." The Respect/Love needs in men/women is potentially a marriage saver or breaker.

I have 2 constructive criticisms of the book. I still recommend this book, however I do give these caveats:

1. This book talks as if men know how to love their wives. There may be a million books out there on how to do it, but we didn't have those. My husband and I were reading this one. And I grew weary of hearing how women needed to learn to respect their husbands. Frankly, I grasped the principal within the first few pages. After a few chapters, I felt like rolling my eyes a little. Because he paid so little attention to talking about how men should love their wives, it felt like that part was very trivialized. I understand that was not the point, however, the title was "Love & Respect", not just "Respect."

2. I would have liked more tangible examples of exactly what it means to "Respect" my husband. I want to do it. And he made it clear that "nagging, complaining, and whining" at him were disrespectful. But I need more examples. What are the active things I can do? Is it disrespectful to remind my husband to take the garbage out the night before? If it is, then how do I make sure the task gets done w/out reminding him? It isn't an issue of control, but I have to get the kids out the door in the morning and I need help and I need him to do this one thing. Make sense? I need to know how to have those discussions w/out disrespecing him.
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75 of 79 people found the following review helpful By Amazon Customer on May 4, 2006
Format: Paperback
This book is full of insight. I've been married for 17 years to a wonderful man that I have always respected. I never realized, however, how many little things I said and did that made him feel so belittled. (And he certainly didn't know how to share that with me!) It really is like learning to speak a different language. And although I KNEW he loved me, I also felt that something was missing. It's not easy to change so many years of habit, but understanding why we each react the way we do has made it easier to connect with one another. I whole-heartedly recommend this book, especially if your goal is to make your spouse more happy, and so have a more peaceful marriage. Even if you think you can never respect your husband, or your wife is unlovable, there is valuable knowledge to be gained here.
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707 of 803 people found the following review helpful By Brian K. William on March 24, 2009
Format: Hardcover
The good:

1) I like the connection between love and respect. Every time he says husbands need respect and wives need love, you have to translate that mentally into *both* husbands *and* wives need love *and* respect, but the basic premise is a good one -- the Christian understanding of love indicates an attitude of honoring, respecting, and blessing the other person.

2) The crazy cycle and reward cycle. This is one of the most important things most couples could learn. Our behaviors are self-reinforcing and good things to lead to more good things in a cycle. Likewise, bad things often lead to more bad things. The good news is that we serve a God of redemption and just as the gospel message teaches us that Christ breaks us out of a cycle of sin, God can redeem broken marriages and break them out of destructive cycles.

3) For *some* couples, a disrespectful attitude toward the husband or an unloving attitude toward the wife *is* the problem. For those relationships, I imagine they would benefit greatly from this book.

The not-so-good:

1) As mentioned by several reviewers already, the book is incredibly sexist. I started making a `W' in the margins when Dr. Eggerichs blamed the wife for the problem and a `H' when he blamed the husband. Skimming back through, it's about 90% W's. Just about any time he says something negative about the husband, you are almost guaranteed to get a follow-up sentence about how his wife's pettiness or nagging or belittling comments or criticizing or bitterness or whatever was really the root cause of the husband's behavior.
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173 of 215 people found the following review helpful By Christianwifemom on March 19, 2011
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
While the overall idea is a good one, I strongly agree with other reviewers that the way the author excuses sinful behavior is unacceptable. I found his pride and the repetitive nature of his message to be irritating but was willing to focus on the positive in the book. However after reading that men cheat because their wives don't have sex with them enough and that women should listen to their men's admiration of other women's "assets" with compassion and not judgement, along with multiple other situations where men's actions are excused as "natural" and "to be expected" I find I absolutely can NOT recommend this book to anyone.

In fact I am extremely disappointed by the many positive reviews by Christian couples seen here. How can anyone in good conscience recommend a book that so degrades women? I understand that men are turned on by the visual, but Jesus challenges them to fight those urges, and I absolutely do not agree that women should accept that their husband will look lustfully at another woman as "natural" and encourage him to share those struggles with her! Should women be sympathetic of their husband's struggles...yes! Should they pray that God give their husbands the strength to resist temptation...yes! Is it easier on husbands if their needs are met...perhaps. However I know plenty of couples with healthy sex lives whose husbands still struggle with pornography, flirting with other women, looking at other women lustfully etc. The issue is the MAN's heart and the MAN's walk with his Lord and Saviour, not his wife's ability and willingness to sleep with him every 72hrs on schedule. Seriously. If nothing else this book will only allow men struggling with the above issues to excuse, not own up to and change, their behavior.
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