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Love Signals: A Practical Field Guide to the Body Language of Courtship
 
 
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Love Signals: A Practical Field Guide to the Body Language of Courtship [Paperback]

David Givens (Author)
3.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (15 customer reviews)

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Book Description

January 10, 2006
A world renowned anthropologist explores the nonverbal signs, signals, and cues human beings exchange to attract and keep their mates. As a medium of communication, Love's silent language predates speech by millions of years. Today, we still express emotions and feelings largely apart from words. The postures, gestures, and facial cues of attraction are universal, in all societies and cultures.

According to Dr. Givens, courtship moves slowly though five distinct phases: attracting attention, recognition phase, conversation phase, touching phase, making love. Since potential mates "test" each other before uniting as one, courtship is a choreographed give and take of signs granting physical and emotional closeness.

Love Signals is part enthnography and part how-to. Dr. Givens documents the little courting rituals witnessed in elevators, on subways, and in the workplace. He examines the essential role the face plays in courtship and how it can be optimally displayed. He decodes the body to find silent messages given off by shoulders, neck, arms, hands, waist, calves, ankles, feet, and toes. Dr. Givens analyzes expressive shapes, colors, and markings encoded in arm wear, shoulder wear, leg wear, and shoes. He deciphers the background messages of spaces, places and interiors to learn how environs help or hinder in the meeting process. Chemical cues emanating from aromas, tastes, steroids, sterols, and hormones strongly shape a partner's feelings, so they are explored as well.

The book suggests ways to gaze, ways to read eyes across a room, and ways to sit, stand, align, walk dress, and lift a drink to participate in the fascinating adventure of finding, winning, and keeping a mate. Knowing the unspoken vocabulary of love signals will give readers an edge. What this means for courtship is that the reader becomes able to read unspoken motives, emotions, and feelings with great clarity and precision. The more readers know about the nonverbal idiom of attraction, the more likely they will find a loving, lasting partner.

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Love Signals: A Practical Field Guide to the Body Language of Courtship + What Every BODY is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Speed-Reading People + The Definitive Book of Body Language
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Editorial Reviews

From the Inside Flap

Praise for Dr. Givens` on-line Nonverbal Dictionary:

"A masterful piece of work."
- American Library Association

"Highly recommended."
- New Scientist

"It`s contents will enlighten you."
- Discover Magazine`s "Pick of the Web"

"Site of the Day."
- Good Housekeeping

"Tells all you need to know--and much, much, much more."
- San Francisco Examiner "Website of the Week"

"Very interesting reading."
- Houston Chronicle

About the Author

David Givens began studying body language at the University of Washington in Seattle. He served as Resident Anthropologist and Director of information services and programs at the American Anthropological Association in Washington, D.C. for more than a decade. He is currently Director of the Center for Non-Verbal Studies in Spokane, Washington. He teaches in the Department of Communication Arts at Gonzaga University. He offers seminars on nonverbal communication to diverse audiences, including lawyers, judges, social workers, salespeople, physicians. He works with law enforcement agencies and the U.S. Intelligence community.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 256 pages
  • Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin (January 10, 2006)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0312315066
  • ISBN-13: 978-0312315061
  • Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.6 x 0.7 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8.5 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (15 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #273,447 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

15 Reviews
5 star:
 (5)
4 star:
 (5)
3 star:
 (1)
2 star:
 (2)
1 star:
 (2)
 
 
 
 
 
Average Customer Review
3.6 out of 5 stars (15 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

35 of 37 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars How to find your love - and keep it, January 29, 2006
By 
Giancarlo Nicoli "Pharmacist and Publisher" (Appiano Gentile, close to Como Lake, Italy) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This book is a blend of three parts: 1 - research studies on the subject of human behaviour, especially applied to courtship and mating; 2 - direct, field observations by the author; 3 - how-to manual to find a partner (how to wear, how to behave, how to speak, how to move... and so on).

I'm fascinated by human behaviour, I read other books on the subject. Soon after the purchase, I quickly delved into it. Although some of the studies described here are already well-known, others aren't - that's why appreciate it.

Did you know that courtship has five phases? They are: «(1) Attention, (2) Recognition, (3) Speech, (4) Touching, and (5) Lovemaking. Each phase has its own signs, signals, and cues. Since potential mates `test' each other before uniting as one, courtship is rarely hurried. Moving too fast - giving too many signals at once or showing them out of phase order - may frighten a partner away. Universally, patience is the key».

This a practical book. What's written here is feasible by everyone.

Caveat: when I say that what's written here is feasible by everyone, I don't mean this is an easy book. Many people will understand this book, but not everybody will. In this book, the author talks human behaviour, neuroanathomy, ethnography, anthropology; you find here things such as `conjugate lateral eye movements', `isopraxism'... and so on.

I think to this book as an example of the cultural divide - if you understand (and apply the findings of) this book, you have a wide advantage over those who don't understand it: but that's another story...

I give it four stars instead of five because here and there there are less interesting parts, the quality and the insightfulness of the prose is not even. Sometimes it's a rather dull reading.

Now, a few quotations:

"In courtship, palm-up gestures are psychologically friendlier than palm-down cues. (...) Our closest animal relatives, the chimpanzees, greet each other with compliant, upturned palms to show `I'm friendly'. For human beings everywhere, gesturing with an upraised, opened palm is a convincing and time-tested way to say `Trust me; I mean no harm.' Throughout the world, palm-up cues captivate, charm, and psychologically disarm partners who may be unsure of each other's intentions."

"(...) before speaking to an unfamiliar man or woman you [should] establish a baseline of familiarity. This prepares the partner by laying psychological groundwork in which a new relationship can germinate. Before you ask the nice-looking Safeway clerk for a date, go through the clerk's checkout line to build familiarity. Establish eye contact, smile, bow your head forward, head-nod in agreement, and show an open palm. Three visits in as many days activate the familiarity effect. The odds that he or she will agree to take an espresso break with you dramatically improve. Repeated physical proximity over short periods of time converts you from `just a stranger' to someone who is better known and `liked'."

"Courtship works on a principle of luring. Instead of chasing, cornering, and capturing a mate, you emit `come hither' signals and await a response. You hold back initially and play what amounts to a waiting game, in which lure, not seize, is the rule."

Enough said. To learn more, go have your copy.
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22 of 23 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Highly recommended, June 1, 2005
In this fascinating book, anthropologist Dr. David Givens explains how body language and other silent signals and cues work in the different phases of courtship. Along the way, he explains what the various signals mean, and where they came from. He doesn't just look at gestures, but also at such things as colors, clothing, aromas and much more.

Overall, I found this to be a very fascinating book. Dr. Givens has produced the premier book on how to be successful at the game of human courtship, which applies to those who want to meet someone new and to those who want to maintain their bond with their spouse. I highly recommend this book!
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13 of 14 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Really great!, February 16, 2006
This review is from: Love Signals: A Practical Field Guide to the Body Language of Courtship (Paperback)
Wow, what a fascinating book! When it comes to courtship among humans, the beginnings are all based on non-verbal cues - including posture, gestures and facial expressions. Everyone knows that first impressions are the most important, you really don't realize the impressions you are giving until you read this book!

Read this book to find out what you are saying about yourself through non-verbal communication, and what you can do to broadcast the message about yourself that you want to send. I found this to be a really great book, and I highly recommend it to everyone!

(Review of Love Signals : A Practical Field Guide to the Body Language of Courtship)
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Inside This Book (learn more)
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First Sentence:
LOVE SIGNALS IS a practical field guide to the body language of courtship. Read the first page
Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
infantile schema, neck dimple, jaw droop, love signals, contrapposto stance, companionate love, recognition cue, sexual traits, nonverbal signs, orienting reflex, chemical cues, stranger anxiety, facial cues
Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
Conversation Phase, Attention Phase, Recognition Phase, Phase Five, Leather Vest, Charles Darwin, New York, Marilyn Monroe, United States, Edward Hall, San Diego, Touch Phase, Venus de Milo, Elvis Presley, James Dean
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