Customer Reviews

Love Signals: A Practical Field Guide to the Body Language of Courtship

5 star:		(5)
4 star:		(5)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

This book is a blend of three parts: 1 - research studies on the subject of human behaviour, especially applied to courtship and mating; 2 - direct, field observations by the author; 3 - how-to manual to find a partner (how to wear, how to behave, how to speak, how to move... and so on).

I'm fascinated by human behaviour, I read other books on the subject. Soon after the purchase, I quickly delved into it. Although some of the studies described here are already well-known, others aren't - that's why appreciate it.

Did you know that courtship has five phases? They are: «(1) Attention, (2) Recognition, (3) Speech, (4) Touching, and (5) Lovemaking. Each phase has its own signs, signals, and cues. Since potential mates `test' each other before uniting as one, courtship is rarely hurried. Moving too fast - giving too many signals at once or showing them out of phase order - may frighten a partner away. Universally, patience is the key».

This a practical book. What's written here is feasible by everyone.

Caveat: when I say that what's written here is feasible by everyone, I don't mean this is an easy book. Many people will understand this book, but not everybody will. In this book, the author talks human behaviour, neuroanathomy, ethnography, anthropology; you find here things such as `conjugate lateral eye movements', `isopraxism'... and so on.

I think to this book as an example of the cultural divide - if you understand (and apply the findings of) this book, you have a wide advantage over those who don't understand it: but that's another story...

I give it four stars instead of five because here and there there are less interesting parts, the quality and the insightfulness of the prose is not even. Sometimes it's a rather dull reading.

Now, a few quotations:

"In courtship, palm-up gestures are psychologically friendlier than palm-down cues. (...) Our closest animal relatives, the chimpanzees, greet each other with compliant, upturned palms to show `I'm friendly'. For human beings everywhere, gesturing with an upraised, opened palm is a convincing and time-tested way to say `Trust me; I mean no harm.' Throughout the world, palm-up cues captivate, charm, and psychologically disarm partners who may be unsure of each other's intentions."

"(...) before speaking to an unfamiliar man or woman you [should] establish a baseline of familiarity. This prepares the partner by laying psychological groundwork in which a new relationship can germinate. Before you ask the nice-looking Safeway clerk for a date, go through the clerk's checkout line to build familiarity. Establish eye contact, smile, bow your head forward, head-nod in agreement, and show an open palm. Three visits in as many days activate the familiarity effect. The odds that he or she will agree to take an espresso break with you dramatically improve. Repeated physical proximity over short periods of time converts you from `just a stranger' to someone who is better known and `liked'."

"Courtship works on a principle of luring. Instead of chasing, cornering, and capturing a mate, you emit `come hither' signals and await a response. You hold back initially and play what amounts to a waiting game, in which lure, not seize, is the rule."

Enough said. To learn more, go have your copy.

In this fascinating book, anthropologist Dr. David Givens explains how body language and other silent signals and cues work in the different phases of courtship. Along the way, he explains what the various signals mean, and where they came from. He doesn't just look at gestures, but also at such things as colors, clothing, aromas and much more.

Overall, I found this to be a very fascinating book. Dr. Givens has produced the premier book on how to be successful at the game of human courtship, which applies to those who want to meet someone new and to those who want to maintain their bond with their spouse. I highly recommend this book!

Wow, what a fascinating book! When it comes to courtship among humans, the beginnings are all based on non-verbal cues - including posture, gestures and facial expressions. Everyone knows that first impressions are the most important, you really don't realize the impressions you are giving until you read this book!

Read this book to find out what you are saying about yourself through non-verbal communication, and what you can do to broadcast the message about yourself that you want to send. I found this to be a really great book, and I highly recommend it to everyone!

(Review of Love Signals : A Practical Field Guide to the Body Language of Courtship)

Dr. Givens presents us with a readable compendium of his research into non-verbal cues characterizing modern courtship. Although Givens rounds the bases on a number of topics, such as the importance of the face, the way & why we attract -- and why we are attracted to -- certain body types, as well as suggestions on how to remain together, the crux of the book is his discussion of the five phases of courtship: 1) Attracting Attention, 2) How to Read the Gleam in an Eye, 3) Exchanging Words, 4) The Language of Touch, and 5) Making Love.
At times, it is difficult to determine who the target audience is, especially when he juxtaposes scientific jargon and anthropoligical history with cue lists, anecdotes, & field notes --- this, however, shouldn't deter the would-be reader that shares Givens' perspective: "In courtship, knowledge is power. Knowing that gestures work better than words give you a clear advantage in finding a mate" (p.21).

This book is very detailed about body language and the interaction between men and women during courting. I have actually used some of the techniques and noticed a difference in people's reactions toward me. Now I understand how body language does play a major factor in all relationships.

I would absolutely recommend "Love Signals" to anyone who wishes to enjoy the intellectual discussion behind the science and psychology of attraction and/or for anyone who wishes to become better skilled at reading people's body language (as well as being aware of their own "signals" they are sending out).

As a professional matchmaker, I see that people who are cognizant of other people's "nonverbal" signals have a greater likelihood of success in dating and in their relationships. In this book, Givens provides valuable tips to his readers on how to recognize interest from members of the opposite sex (e.g. noticing that people lean towards whatever - or whomever - they find most important at the time, that people's eye blink more and tend to dilate when they are interested in someone, etc.) while also offering practical tips on how to "create" interest (e.g. how to use your voice, colors, etc. to create an attraction/send certain signals).

Occasionally, the read can be a little dry and - as one reviewer here comments - photo illustrations over drawings might have enhanced the book a little. Overall, however, I really enjoyed "Love Signals" and would highly recommend it.

Marni Galison, President and Founder
Sunday at Noon Matchmaking and Events

This book provides great insights into the nonverbal communications that take place in relationships, the dating process and in courtship. Written from an anthropological point of view, it's like a guidebook to the human mating process. I found it a fascinating, fun and easy to read book. The subject fascinates me and the author, an anthropologist, did a great job of outlining the process we all follow when we try to find love, regardless of culture or upbringing. As the book emphasizes, expressing love and interest in another person is largely nonverbal and reaches across the language barrier. Want to understand the process of how humans connect with one another, maybe even improve your ability to connect, then this is the book to read and absorb.

If you like to people watch, as I do, this book is also a great field guide to how people act and respond to others. It's great fun to take what you've learned in this book and use it to decode the actions of others as they struggle to meet, mingle and connect with others. With understanding comes enlightenment, and we can use the knowledge and insight provided in this book to be better at our relationships, both in establishing new ones and improving the ones we have now.

This book replied to many questions that I have wondered for long.
Though it won't make you a real Giacomo Casanova, it might be useful to become more confident and sexy and masculine

An accidentally humorous scholarly paper on human sexual selection behaviors... based primarily on his own empirical research in the field, specifically Seattle and bits of California (notably San Diego). So... what's the problem with that?

-limited information based on short-term exposure to closed social sets of particular tax brackets and age groups, leaving out the majority of the planet's populous that don't fall into those demographics (and therefore have different interests, tastes, turn-ons, reactions and modes of expression)
-hetero-centric
-statements contradict themselves at times

...and VERY importantly:

-as personal connections become private, his research subjects vanished... leaving a huge gaping hole in mating behaviors (including a personal bias against intensity or more aggressive sexual behaviors) and facial expressions that are never mentioned
-the added on tips and suggestions section on the back seems to have been added on as an afterthought, to fill in more pages and to attempt to make the research paper more accessible to laymen that are looking for a self-help dating book.

all the information in this book opened my eyes to the language of body language between people. this tells it all- makes everything crystal clear... and it makes sense! my perception of those who might be interested in me is heightened. for hetero- or homo- sexual individuals.
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