29 of 29 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Simply An Amazing Book, January 27, 2006
This review is from: Love Tactics: How to Win the One You Want (Paperback)
People under 30 might think of this book as "The Art of 'The Game'". For those over 30 or not so well versed in slang, Love Tactics gives step-by-step, (or more accurately point-by-point) practical, and duplicatable advice to becoming more successful in dating.
However, don't be fooled by my simplification above . The book does not espouse that people need to "play games" in dating in order to be successful. In fact, it opens by explaining that a successful relationship must have respect, passion, and love. Then it goes on to explain how all 3 of those things can be achieved!
The book is clearly written. It is niether a dry textbook nor a rambling manifesto. Information is easy to find.
One of the best things I like about the book is the fact that the key points are headlined and a reader could improve their "tactics" by simply reading the headlined points, yet, for those of us who want to truly understand the process behind the tactics, each headline is then broken down into important points. The authors actually make reasonable explanations to accompany each headline.
Here is an example of how the 2nd chapter is broken-down:
## = my analytical note
----------
Title: Acting With Self-Assurance
Principle: People are most readily drawn to those who radiate a positive self-image.
Intro
- Vibes: An explanation of the phenomenae of "vibes" and how that relates to potential success in dating
## How often have you heard or said "I like their vibe" or "he/she just doesn't have a good vibe"?
Headlines
1. Be Nice to Yourself
- Give yourself credit
## As a perfectionist, I found this an especially good reminder
2. Identify Your Goals
a. Decide what you want.
b. Write down your goals.
c. Know your priorities
d. Attach a timeframe
e. Break your goals down into daily tasks
3. Relax
## A challenge many daters encounter. While the book obviously can't tell you how to relax, it gives a good perspective and also good reasoning as to why you should try
4. Talk with confidence
- Starting A Conversation
- Conversation Anxieties
- What to Say
- Small Talk
- "Bigger" Talk
- Conversation Summary
5. Know What You Want In A Prospective Mate
6. Plan Out Where To Meet Others
- On The Job
- Special Interest Groups
- Referrals Through Friends
- The Singles Scene
- Meeting Online
** The ABCs of Developing Internet Prospects
a. E-mail
b. Online chats
c. Phone conversations
d. Face-to-face meetings
## Not only does this part show that the authors are up-to-date on dating, but it also defines a clear process. As someone who has met and dated people I have met online, I personally discovered this process to be successful some time ago. That being said, I can say that the authors' ideas are accurate. So if you are interested in meeting someone online, it's usually best not to try to go straight from emails / notes to immediately trying to meet in person.
Closing and Summary:
- A Word (or Two) To The Shy
- Some Final Thoughts
------------------
That is only the 2nd chapter!
Additionally, there is even a section on Winning Back the One You've Lost.
As someone who has studied interpersonal communication and relationships both academically and in my own personal life for years, most of this information was not new to me personally (though I would imagine for someone who was not so well-versed on "the game" it might be). However, even with my own prior knowledge of many of the topics in the book, it has been a great refresher for me.
If you look at my other book reviews, you see that I do not give out high-ratings easily. I whole-heartedly give this book 5 stars. Amust read both for people who are trying to "get the girl (or boy)" and for people who are trying to "keep the girl (or boy)".
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32 of 33 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Give me three steps, May 21, 2004
By A Customer
This review is from: Love Tactics: How to Win the One You Want (Paperback)
First a caveat, no book or skill set can make everyone fall in love with you or turn you into Don Juan or Helen of Troy if you look like Quasimodo. If you are of average or above looks this book will help you keep the one you want. The authors break down a successful relationship into its constituent parts. They are friendship, respect and passion. The first two parts are about becoming a better person who can attract people to them. If you're a good solid friend whom people become emotionally dependant upon for support, you will attract people. The second part is about earning and keeping respect from other people. Ask yourself if you would want to be with a clingy desperate person with no self-confidence or self-esteem who can barely tie their shoelaces by themselves. So don't be one yourself. This book shows you how. The third part about creating passion is the controversial part. You do this through the scarcity principle. Passion is created by Hope and Doubt. This means you play easy to lose and is slightly different than playing hard to get. Playing hard to get short-circuits the hope that a person can get you and creates disinterest. Easy to lose creates the doubt that causes a person to constantly think about you. If you don't create the passion you will hear the phrase you're a nice guy/girl but... over and over again. The only weak spot is that the book is silent on shared values. This may be because those are set hard and you just have to look for and find the person who shares the same types of dreams, values and yes sense of humor as you do by seeing a number of people. This book will lead you through the rest and is why I give it my highest rating.
Additional books that are helpful in this area are Superflirt by Tracy Cox, Romance the (woman/man) you want by Lucy Sanna and Conversationally Speaking by Alan Garner.
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37 of 40 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
A great book!, May 22, 2003
This review is from: Love Tactics: How to Win the One You Want (Paperback)
I purchased this book about 6 months ago with the intent of winning the heart of someone special I had met two months previously. Before applying any of the techniques I read the book from cover to cover trying to get a feel for the concept of the book and the reasoning behind them. Once I had a feeling of where my relationship stood at that point in time, I began to experiment with various techniques as described in the book.
It is my opinion that no book can actually make someone fall in love with you. But a book can help you make the other person, the object of your desires, realise that they have feelings for you, if they indeed exist below the surface.
Patience is required, however. Some of the techniques in this book take weeks or longer to play out effectively. But trust me, they do work.
And, while the object of my affections has yet to declare her love for me, I can see the day coming and have this book to thank for helping me not blow everything by being impatient.
This is truly a great book and I highly recommend it!
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