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Love in a Time of Homeschooling: A Mother and Daughter's Uncommon Year

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When I saw this book on our local library shelf, I was intruigued by it. As a homeschooler starting my third year, it was nice to see a book in the new release section that chronicled a "year and the life" of a mother and daughter homeschooling. However, as I found myself waiting for a very long time for the author to get to the actual story of their year. The first 100 pages are filled with statements about how different the author, Laura Brodie, is from the "traditional" or "typical" homeschoolers. She often mentions that she was not a religious fanatic or political zealot -- as if all homeschoolers need to fall into one of these 2 catagories. I kept thinking the author was going to explain how she gained a new respect for or persceptive of homeschoolers. However, she often mentioned how she read many homeschooling books and read about HSLDA -- but she didn't feel like she needed to follow any of the "norms" of homeschoolers. This is a beauty of homeschooling -- you can customize it to meet your child's needs. However, I didn't feel like this was the point she was getting at, I felt like she felt like she was better than everyone else. I just felt through reading the book that she was almost trying to apologize to her readers for making this important decision for her daughter and tried to justify herself against homeschooling critics. I just wish she had taken a more embracing approach to the homeschooling issue. I wish she left me feeling like she was on my side instead of being judgemental towards all homeschoolers that weren't her. It's obvious that her daughter, Julia, was and is an ideal canidate for homeschooling and that she benefited greatly from her year at home, so why try and downtalk the homeschooling community in general -- there's already too much misguided thoughts and information about this schooling option. I do understand that not everyone can stay home and educate their children, nor do I think everyone should. I decided to start because it was what was best for my gifted, ADHD child who would not have had his needs met in the school system. Through my experience, I've learned so much about homeschooling and I've also been judged by family and strangers alike. I didn't appreciate reading a book by a fellow homeschooler and feeling judged by her as well. I DO NOT recommend this book to any homeschoolers or non-homeschoolers. I think this book does not enlighten people about homeschooling in our country, but only encourages the misunderstanding between home-educators and the public schools.

As a memoir, I enjoyed reading "Love in a Time of Homeschooling". Ms. Brodie is an excellent story-teller and her writing vividly brings to life her and her daughter Julia's "sabbatical" to try homeschooling during Julia's fifth-grade year. As someone who has been homeschooling for 5 years, however, I was dismayed by the misleading impression that someone unfamiliar with home education might get after reading Ms. Brodie's memoir.

As far as I could tell from the book, the Brodies did not get involved in a homeschool support group, learning co-op, sports/music/theater/debate/etc. program, or any of the various classes offered to homeschoolers. I wonder if they might have continued homeschooling after the one year had they availed themselves of some of the wonderful group opportunities out there for homeschoolers these days. Homeschooled children don't have to be as socially isolated as Julia Brodie apparently was. I don't think it's healthy for homeschooling parents and children to spend all day every day with only each other. The good news is that these days they don't have to be- and I sincerely hope readers of Ms. Brodie's memoir will realize that.

It was also clear to me that Ms. Brodie ought to have better researched the curricular materials she used- her year might have gone much smoother had she chosen the delightful "Life of Fred" series for math rather than the dreary, overly repetitive Saxon. Additionally, Ms. Brodie made the mistake of deciding to follow the state curricular standards at home. She ought to have ignored the SOL's completely except in math. Just because some committee of bureaucrats in Richmond have dictated that public school students should study X, does NOT mean that she needed to cram it into her daughter's schedule.

Finally, much of the struggle Ms. Brodie had with Julia was more of a discipline issue rather than a homeschooling one. If Julia had difficulty staying on task without direct supervision, that's a signal that the Brodie parents need to work on habit-training with her. The conflict that she had with Julia over getting schoolwork done is not an inherent problem with home education but rather one specific to that family. IMHO Ms. Brodie ought to have focused a whole lot less on meeting arbitrary government curricular standards and a whole lot more on habit training during the family's year of homeschooling.

If you're a family considering homeschooling, don't be scared off by Ms. Brodie's experience. Please realize that it is not very representative of home education.

Laura Brodie did an experimental year of homeschooling with her daughter, and she wants to make sure her readers understand that homeschooling should be regulated more because other people who aren't as well-educated and self-aware as she might not do as good a job as she did. You know, during the one year during which she amassed all her experience with homeschooling - which limited her from learning about some of the most effective resources (which, it's hard for new folks to understand - frequently don't look anything like SCHOOL materials), understanding how to network with homeschoolers (especially in finding non-evangelicals), getting clear comprehension of the history and culture(s) of homeschooling, etc.

She is somehow grateful for this year of sabbatical from the stiflingness of school she can offer to her own daughter while making darn sure she doesn't embrace the total idea of unfettered homeschooling - and especially not for others.

She encounters bumps in the road, which we all do, but she fails to truly comprehend how many homeschoolers work these out over a couple years of homeschooling, and how she might have too. Her very idea of homeschooling for only a year essentially provides the escape route that allows her to avoid the real work of understanding and helping a child who seems to her to be lazy or unfocused. It allows her to avoid working things out with her daughter - she can go right back to sending her to school. It allows her to avoid the real discoveries about the homeschooling community and how it works. I read her book shaking my head at missed opportunity. She failed to examine her own underlying assumptions about the status quo -- public schooling -- and continues to hold up its practices as much more of a sure thing than homeschooling ever could be. Has she not read that 1/3 of all students who enter public schools fail to graduate? Does she not know that this reaches 50% in "minority majority" schools? Just how are school-oriented regulations or regulators going to provide guidance or a safety net for homeschooled kids when homeschoolers aren't even trying to emulate "school"? There is just not much credibility here.

Through the whole book, I kept thinking, "She's afraid." Her fears seem to include what would happen if: she truly gave herself over to homeschooling, she truly allowed her daughter to learn in ways that work with her learning style, she did not push her daughter into doing what *she* thought was good for her regardless of her daughter's readiness or interest, she is seen as being too supportive of homeschooling and somehow not progressive or academic enough.

The problem is, as a memoir, the material fails to recognize the true fear. If she'd gotten to the root of it, since she's a good writer, it might have been an authentic reflection on the wrestling parents do in making educational decisions for their kids.

Contrast this book with Kathleen Melin's By Heart: A Mother's Story of Children and Learning At Home. Melin is about six levels deeper than Brodie manages to get, while also managing to portray the imperfections of any educational approach, including the hardness that homeschooling can also have. The fear in Melin's book is palpable.

It's unfortunate that Brodie managed to make things worse in various blogs and commentary about homeschooling, where she continued to demonstrate her lack of understanding about the legal aspects in her own state and fails to get the culture of learning that many homeschoolers embrace. She seems to think homeschooling is about instruction, without ever coming to the understanding that it's about learning.

If Laura Brodie had let homeschooling rock her world, she could have rocked ours. Her prose is vivid and evocative. However, she's protected herself from any real growth or change, and homeschoolers can smell that because they've lived through their own resistance and pushed onward.

At night, I think about her and her daughter sometimes. I wish she'd not planned to homeschool only a year, had not given herself that arbitrary limit, so she would have had more time to understand the need to find that mentor who would have helped her find the right resources, helped her understand why regulating homeschooling risks it to the very school-ness she's taking a year off from, helped her see ways to both accept and challenge her daughter while managing her own fear - if she can't actually let it go.

Laura Brodie's book Love in a Time of Homeschooling: A Mother and Daughter's Uncommon Year completely changed my opinion about homeschooling. Before I read this book, the concept of homeschooling was foreign. It was something only very religious, stay-at-home moms did. It was not for me. This book opened my eyes to a whole new world, one accessible and feasible in my own life. After reading this book, I am considering homeschooling my own son who doesn't thrive in the traditional school system.

Brodie's daughter Julia struggled in the regimented public school system. She had lost her love of learning, and Brodie sought to reignite that joy once again. She set out to homeschool her daughter for one year, allowing her to explore, grow, learn. Although she had to fulfill certain requirements, Julie also got to set the pace of her own education by focusing on things that really interested her. Brodie and her daughter took knitting classes, visited museums, and went on countless field trips. Every day was a learning experience. They had their ups and their downs, their moments of bliss and their days of extreme frustration. Love in a Time of Homeschooling is the story of their year-long experiment.

No matter what your view on homeschooling is, you're sure to take something away from this book. I gleaned much from it. I learned that I can provide amazing learning experiences disguised as fun for my own children. Brodie would continue to offer homeschooling experiences to her three daughters long after their homeschooling year was over. "So long as children lived under our roof, ours would be a homeschooling family, turning off the TV to spend more time talking and reading and going for walks," Brodie wrote. I intend to apply the same philosophy to my family. I gained a whole new respect for those who homeschool from this book, as well as many ideas to use at home. This book shouldn't be missed!

by Jennifer Melville

for Story Circle Book Reviews

reviewing books by, for, and about women

I'm a working mother of three teenagers who thought of homeschooling at various times in my children's schooling. But I knew I couldn't do it long term, and like the author describes in the beginning of her book, found little out there that gave me a sense that short term homeschooling was a practical option for a 'not so perfect' mom like me. If this book had been available a few years ago, it would have provided both the inspiration and guidance to make it happen.

Reading this book was a delightful experience as I found myself chuckling out loud, tearing up, and deeply identifying with the self-questioning that we mothers so often do. The author's writing style makes for smooth reading with humor and thoughtfulness woven into the ups and downs of this mother-daughter experience. She does a great job of voicing her 10 year old daughter's experience and highlighting the different perspectives of the various family members.

Even for those not interested in homeschooling, this book is a great reflection of family life - including the emotional ups & downs of raising children, maintaining a relationship, and respecting individual interests and pursuits. I highly recommend it.

This book inspired me to think seriously about homeschooling my soon-to-be fifth grader. Having taught for several years in the public school system, I have an insider's view of its flaws and advantages, so I've toyed for years with the idea of trying homeschooling as an alternative, my only question being whether or not my daughter could stand an entire year with me as her only teacher. This book addressed many of my concerns regarding family conflicts as well as some basic information and resources for beginning a homeschooling experience. I especially loved the informal, fun, and honest way that Brodie relates her experiences homeschooling her daughter for a year. This book is a wonderful read for anyone interested in the topic and provides insights that other homeschooling books do not.

Reading Love in a Time of Homeschooling is totally delightful. Brodie is a master of entertaining sentences and uses word combinations that continually caused me to chuckle, and sometimes even slap my knee and laugh out loud. The entire book is throughly engaging, while at the same time deeply thought provoking about issues on many levels, both at home and within our culture.

It was clear that mother and daughter benefited from the year of home study. The time together, while often challenging, clearly changed both of their lives (and the entire family's lives) for the better. And there will undoubtedly continue to be beneficial consequences that ramify throughout all their lifetimes.

While reading Homeschooling, I couldn't help but think about my own public school experience. In many ways, I was a lot like the daughter, Julia; often bored with the classroom lessons, and usually off in my own little private magical world. I struggled through many classes. Especially in grade and middle schools, I felt that so much of my time was being wasted...and it was. But I go through it.

So about my life now? What about your life now? Is "schooling" ever finished?

Whether you acknowledge it or not, schooling and learning -- no matter what your age -- continues. The tests just come indifferent forms than multiple-choice, written exams. Because of reading Brodie's book, I'm pondering about homeschooling myself. Not only to help prepare the future me, but also taking time to learn about things haven't made their way into my my life thus far. Have I been nurturing and paying enough attention to my "inner child"? Am I taking Joseph Campbell's advice to "follow my bliss"?

Could a pre-formatted, self-designed, homeschooling program (complete with lesson plans and learning objectives) help me to find, and "follow my bliss"? Well, why not? Perhaps it's time for all of us to think about adult homeschooling and retreading for new times. In these dynamic times, we can all benefit from gaining new life skills.

Read Brodie's book irregardless if you have children, or are considering homeschooling. You'll find a lot of provocative ideas about life learning and the true meaning of education. I unconditionally and highly recommend this book.

I was not crazy about this book. If you want to read about the pros and cons about homeschooling then read another homeschooling book. There will be many positive raves about homeschoolers but not every book contains this as suggested by the author.

I think all parents could benefit from a quick read of this book. It is always good to get a new perspective and really consider what our kids experience during their days and years in school. This book is very diplomatic; talking over the good things and bad about both traditional schools and home schooling.

I enjoyed reading through her change from thinking that homeschooling was 'crazy' to a realization that spending hours each week arguing over homework might be crazy. School is so expected in our culture that we often don't stop to question it at all.

My thanks to the author for sharing her story!

Love in a Time of Homeschooling: A Mother and Daughter's Uncommon Year by Laura Brodie is a mother's memoir of one year she spent homeschooling her eldest daughter, whom she felt needed a break from traditional schools that didn't seem to fit her style. I am not a big memoir person and wouldn't have picked this on my own but found it to be a quick read and one that I enjoyed. I appreciated the realistic assessment of the attempt which noted both successes and failures. I also like the quotes from the daughter that opened each chapter. I think it would be best for a parent either considering home-schooling or thinking about other ways to supplement a child's learning

(review based on an advance paperback copy supplied by Harper Collins)