Customer Reviews

Love & War in Afghanistan

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Laying in my hammock, warm from the late August sun and surrounded by the sounds of bird songs, waves lapping against the beach and children playing, I found myself pulled, fascinated, into Love and War in Afghanistan. The contrast between my comfortable, summer surroundings and the world of hunger, fear, displacement and pointless brutality served up by the book couldn't have been starker.

Love and War in Afghanistan is a collection of life stories from people in Northeastern Afghanistan, individuals and, in some cases, families, who have lived through invasions by Soviets, the mujahedin, the Taliban, and now the American and Northern Forces. The book introduces us to women who are covertly heading households while their husbands are off fighting; professors forced to make a living through manual labour; school teachers caught in the ideological tug of war between invading forces; a Soviet soldier who converted and joined the mujahedin in the 1980s; and a returned refugee who had lived in Iran during the worst of the fighting and moved back to his hometown only to realise that his family has been spread around the world. Their descriptions of how they experienced a continual ebb and flow of armed conflict during the last twenty years - and in some chapters their longing for the modern society they had experienced briefly during the 1970s and despair that their children have grown up in a society so strikingly different from it - paint a vivid picture of how devastatingly all-consuming simple survival becomes when a country is thrown into war. Each chapter is an individual's account of life during wave after wave of invasions, and how life does go on despite war, one simply learns to live according to the new rules and the new local commanders who have come to power - give a deeper, personal, understanding of how the international conflicts in Afghanistan play themselves out at the local level. And the narrators don't mince their words. One of the men in the book sums up the years of war by telling us, "What most people don't understand is that most of [the victims of war have] died as a result of personal vendettas. Everything else - being a communist or a Taliban or a mujahedin or whatever - that was just a pretext. Those who had power used their authority to murder their enemies, their family's enemies, their friends' enemies, and their neighbors' enemies. And then when the survivors got power, they in turn seek retribution. This is how the cycle of violence perpetuates itself."

Rather than resorting to the stereotypical images of women in burqas, men with Kalashnikovs and children with dirty faces that we are usually confronted by in the media when a story about Afghanistan appears, this book lets us read first hand how people make sense of their lives when most of the last twenty years have been a struggle that demanded both ideological and practical pragmatism. Thanks to Gulchin's cultural background, language skills and gender, she was able to collect stories from women in rural Afghanistan who otherwise are seldom heard from, only spoken about. Often, when the authors would be invited into one of the family compounds where their interviewees lived, Alex would be served tea in the men's guestroom and Gulchin would be brought into the women's quarters. Because of this, parts of the book give fascinating insights into how rural women carve out space to manoeuvre as individuals in a system which repeatedly treats them as objects to be traded between families, with bride prices, travel restrictions, guarded chastity, and distinct restrictions on their presence in the public sphere. At the same time, perhaps inadvertently, the book shows how men experience the women in their surroundings, both at home and on the street.

The topic of the burqa, which has received so much attention in the West, comes up as well. Some of the men and women - those who were educated in the cities before the Soviet invasion - talk about how wrenching it is to be forced to wear it and be forced to make their daughters put it on. Others - women who have only lived in the rural areas - speak instead about how embarrassing it was to be seen without their burqas when their homes were invaded by bands of soldiers. And interestingly, one of the interviews Alex conducted belies the whole idea that the burqa hides its wearer from public view when the man told him, "When I drive my taxi around town, I get to see many girls. You might think it's hard to tell them apart because of the burqa, but it's actually quite easy. You can tell if a girl's young or old, beautiful or ugly by the way that she walks, by her shoes, her hands, and her ankles. Actually, everything you want to know about a girl can be seen in her ankles."

Apart from the fascinating glimpses into daily life in rural Afghanistan, the tales of the conflict in Love and War are chilling. Yet, the stories of heartbreak are even more gripping. The narrating women and men understand that what they are saying is terrible, but they seem to have become almost numb to the horrors they are relating. Almost. As I worked my way through the twelve different accounts in the book, I gradually understood that this book differs from others on the Afghan conflict because it shows that the real pain of war comes when the violence hurts those one holds dear. Though, I suppose, this is a result of who is doing the telling. The authors confess in their introduction that they were concerned the stories they were hearing would be too depressing to read. One of their Afghan friends, however, assured them the opposite was true. "These are happy stories," they were told. "These people survived. I'm sure that many of the millions of people who didn't survive the last twenty-five years would have had much worse stories to tell!"

My husband recently deployed to Afghanistan and I found a peak of interest of the people there. Of course the only way I can do this is to read a book. I purchased this book and is one of three which I am reading in respect to Afghanistan. I really like this book because it has given me a close look into the people of Afghanistan. The love and respect these people have for their country is comparable to that of the U.S. How can we fault them for this? I think a big point of this story is some people can't see or understand the 'greener grass' of the other side. Even though some of the writing is brutally honest, I truly appreciate it. I didn't want a painted picture, I wanted the truth and I have found it in this book from the people first hand. I appreciate this book and those who contributed to this writing. Thank you.

This book gives amazing insight to anyone wanting to know more about Afghanistan from a personal perspective. It has several stories from women and men alike. Stories from men who served in the Taliban, the mujahadin and even a Soviet soldier turned mujahadin. Every story told stories of love, family and life as it happened during the many years of war this country has seen. Many stories made me cry, laugh and think. All were very touching and personal. I absolutely loved this book.

This book is a collection of page-turning and thought-provoking insights into the lives of men and women living in Afghanistan. Universal themes of romantic and familial love, loss and growth are explored through they eyes of individuals whose daily experiences starkly contrast to those of Americans. I found it extremely helpful in understanding some of the challenges facing people living in conflict situations. Additionally, I am grateful for the way this collection of stories humanized Afghanis for me in a way that the nightly news never could.

The authors have created a splendid work. As amateur anthropologists, they have collected life histories from a number of individuals which illustrate rags-to-riches and back again to rags, marriage and divorce, etc., all against the backdrop of dramatic and drastic civil conditions. The underlying saga of the desire of the human spirit to seek to overcome and prevail over harsh conditions was quite moving. The stories illustrate how brutal the acts were of various players over the past decades, and how no side has been pure in the several decades of conflict.

It seems to me that as Americans we have a moral imperative to learn and understand Afghanistan, in order to comment rationally about our policy vis-a-vis that country. This book illustrated so many points about that country in its very human portrayal of those who participated in the oral history project. It was hard to put down.

I highly recommend this book for it very much reflects the day to day realities of average Afghans and their families over the past several years...during the Taliban regime and Russian occupation. It also clearly demonstrates their resilience under very extreme circumstances, physical and emotional. After reading, one can only walk away with a totally fresh view of the life of the average Afghan.

A fascinating read! The stories are more in-depth than I've read elsewhere. The selection of interviewees gives one a chance to see inside the lives of those who supported the "freedom fighters" as well as those who supported the Soviets, and even the story of one ex-Soviet soldier who remained in the country after being captured. After reading this book I saw that there were no "good" sides and "bad" sides, only individuals and their stories about how they dealt with this particular time in history. This book gives one a more balanced and nuanced view of Afghanistan and a variety of Afghan People. I only wish it had a sequel--more stories and updates on the ones told. I highly recommend it.

"Love and War in Afghanistan" is a series of 12 "life stories" as told to the authors by various individuals living in war-torn Afghanistan. The stories are told by both women and men from a wide variety of economic and educational backgrounds. The similarity is that each story involves "love," whether romantic or familial, and each storyteller has been affected by the war taking place.

From the beginning of the Soviet invasion in the late 70's through the chaos of the mujahedin to the extreme repression of the Taliban and the current U.S. occupation, Afghan life has come to dominated by violence and warfare. When peace will finally be restored is uncertain. Bur the true life stories told in this book demonstrate quite compellingly how war destroys the lives of innocent people no matter what the political orientation of those doing the killing. The typical Afghani, like people everywhere, wants to live a normal life - working hard and raising a family. But many, like the mother Mahtabgul who lost a young daughter to crossfire during a mujahedin street battle, are left to grief and misery. What purpose does all this killing serve? Obviously, none worth fighting for, as Afghanistan remains one of the world's poorest and most backward nations.

The saddest part to me is how the murders of these innocent people are written off as mere "collateral damage" by the various military factions. It's tragic that thousands of American soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan are being sent home in body bags. But what is just as bad, if not worse, are the 10's of thousands of ordinary Iraq and Afghani citizens being killed, the majority of whom have no role whatsoever in the conflict besides the bad fortunate of living in a war zone.

This book is a thoughtful and emotionally powerful collection of the joys and sufferings of regular folks as they try to survive in the most difficult circumstances imaginable.

Collected by newly wed couple Alex Klaits and Gulchin Gulmamadova-Klaits, Love and War in Afghanistan is an anthology of true stories about fourteen ordinary women and men living in northeastern Afghanistan. The tales range from narratives of feuding wives to a Ukrainian defector from the Soviet army struggling to survive, eloped lovers, and much more. An inset selection of black-and-white photographic plates illustrates this highly recommended collection of glimpses into modern-day life in Afghanistan. A portion of the proceeds from Love and War in Afghanistan will be donated to support educational programs in the nation.

Have not yet read book but am sure it will be very interesting. Your services are much appreciated since professionalism very much displayed in all areas.