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32 of 33 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
This book will change your life, and even better, everyone else around you, July 16, 2008
Love as a Way of Life by Gary Chapman is a book that could literally change the world. Chapman, who is most famous for his The Five Love Languages, has years of experience couselling couples and uses this knowledge to help us improve our own relationships. He breaks down love into several categories: forgiveness, honesty, kindness, generosity, forgiveness, and patience. He explains why each aspect of love is essential in showing true love in every part of our lives. Not just our marriage, but in parenting, at work, and even in the people we meet every day at the grocery store. I am truly humbled by how little love I show to other people in my life, and I'm working to make serious changes. If everyone read this book and incorporated the changes into their lives, it would change the world from home to city to country and beyond. I can't recommend this book enough.
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20 of 20 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Another wonderful book from Gary Chapman, July 16, 2008
Love as a Way of Life is another incredible book on love and relationships. It focuses on the true joy of loving others and giving without expecting to receive.
Chapman defines the seven characteristics of a loving person, touching on many aspects of each. He outlines how to become less involved with ourselves and shift our focus to reaching out to others in kindness. We learn patience in all areas of our lives. Chapman explains that justice and love must work together in forgiveness. The chapter on courtesy shows what it means to be `friendly-minded' and helps us recognize the struggles of others. He demonstrates true humility and sacrificing for others. Generosity is portrayed as the giving of oneself in all aspects of life. Finally, he discusses honesty and expressing it in a loving manner.
Chapman begins these seven chapters with a checklist and ends with ways to apply it to your own life. The final section of the book shows how to apply these characteristics to specific areas and relationships in our life, including marriage, children and work.
Love as a Way of Life is similar to The Five Love Languages in that it encourages us to seek ways to enrich the lives of others, but it goes much deeper. You cannot know the Love Language of every person you meet, but you can learn to treat them with love. Chapman breaks these principals down to everyday living, from complex family dynamics to situations such as driving or shopping. Love as a Way of Life is relatable to all ages and walks of life, as the principals are universal.
Chapman makes you think about doing the small things that really do matter. The checklists are thought provoking - when you find a characteristic that is one of your weak spots, it really makes you pause. The author offers practical solutions, as he understands that we all possess weaknesses and strengths, which elevates this beyond just another "you can do it" book.
The storytelling aspect keeps readers engaged. It demonstrates that we are not alone in our struggles and gives us a sense of community. Chapman outlines potential problems and people who have encountered these challenges, and his solutions give you actual things to try.
The Apostle Paul comes to mind as someone who truly adopted love as a way of life. While we may not be able to follow his incredible example of loving sacrifice, through Love as a Way of Life, we can all strive to do a little better!
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13 of 13 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Love as a Way of LIfe Review, July 25, 2008
This book is from the guy who wrote the 5 languages of love thing. He talked about the 5 ways we want to be loved: acts of service, gifts, quality time, words of affirmation and physical touch. In this book he is doing a sort of "prequel" to the 5 languages. He said that in counseling people he found that the 5 languages was a great revelation, but it did not push people to want to act. They were, in fact, sometimes put off by the fact that they discovered their husband/wife's love language was acts of service. They still weren't going to DO any of that stuff. This book discusses the 7 traits of a loving person, habits we need to cultivate in order to become loving people. Its not enough to KNOW what love language someone desires, we must BE a loving person in order to put that knowledge into action.
The first premise is a relief for me: love is an action, not a feeling. An action can be put into practice, or practiced. Feelings are fleeting and ever changing. I've always heard that love is a decision, you decide to love and this book explains that statement very well.
The seven secrets are: kindness, patience, forgiveness, courtesy, humility, generosity and honesty. Its easy to read that list and think, "well, yeah" but Chapman gives such practical advice mixed with illustrations that you find yourself learning without meaning to.
This is the book that will give you the proper motivation to love others (Christ) and the tools to pull it off better than you are currently. It will give you the tools to being a better parent, co-worker, spouse, friend. Most of all, its a simple reminder that your job here on earth is to love.
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