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Love as a Way of Life: Seven Keys to Transforming Every Aspect of Your Life Paperback – July 21, 2009


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Love as a Way of Life: Seven Keys to Transforming Every Aspect of Your Life + The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts + Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 272 pages
  • Publisher: WaterBrook Press; Reprint edition (July 21, 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 140007259X
  • ISBN-13: 978-1400072590
  • Product Dimensions: 9 x 6 x 0.7 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (52 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #79,270 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Review

Praise for LOVE AS A WAY OF LIFE

“Chapman follows up his five-million-copy bestseller The Five Love Languages with this wise, heartfelt guide to cultivating seven traits that lead to loving relationships. Whereas his work on love languages explored the primary ways people give and receive love, this book explores the nitty-gritty of an entire "attitude of love," with chapters on kindness, patience, forgiveness, courtesy, humility, generosity, and honesty. Each chapter includes quizzes, questions for reflection, and ideas for applying that chapter's teachings. All self-help books run the risk of cliché, but Chapman manages to make tried-and-true material feel fresh through carefully chosen examples from his pastoral counseling practice and his own life…. This book is head and shoulders above the bulk of self-help literature precisely because it is not about ‘self’ so much as helping others.”
- Publisher’s Weekly (starred review)

Review

Advance Praise for LOVE AS A WAY OF LIFE

“Chapman follows up his five-million-copy bestseller The Five Love Languages with this wise, heartfelt guide to cultivating seven traits that lead to loving relationships. Whereas his work on love languages explored the primary ways people give and receive love, this book explores the nitty-gritty of an entire "attitude of love," with chapters on kindness, patience, forgiveness, courtesy, humility, generosity, and honesty. Each chapter includes quizzes, questions for reflection, and ideas for applying that chapter's teachings. All self-help books run the risk of cliché, but Chapman manages to make tried-and-true material feel fresh through carefully chosen examples from his pastoral counseling practice and his own life…. This book is head and shoulders above the bulk of self-help literature precisely because it is not about ‘self’ so much as helping others.”
--Publisher’s Weekly (starred review) --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

More About the Author

Married more than 45 years to Karolyn, Dr. Gary Chapman is just the man to turn to for help on improving or healing our most important relationships. His own life experiences, plus over thirty-five years of pastoring and marriage counseling, led him to publish his first book in the Love Language series, The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate. Millions of readers credit this continual New York Times bestseller with saving their marriages by showing them simple and practical ways to communicate their love to their partner.
Since the success of his first book, Dr. Chapman has expanded his Five Love Languages series to specifically reach out to teens, singles, men, and children (co-authored with Dr. Ross Campbell).
He is the author of numerous other books published by Moody Publishers/Northfield Publishing, including The World's Easiest Guide to Family Relationships, Anger, The Family You've Always Wanted, The Marriage You've Always Wanted, Desperate Marriages, God Speaks Your Love Language (Jan 09), Parenting Your Adult Child, and Hope for the Separated. He co-authored The Five Languages of Apology with Dr. Jennifer Thomas.
Chapman speaks to thousands of couples nationwide through his weekend marriage conferences. He hosts a nationally syndicated radio program, Love Language Minute, and a Saturday morning program, Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman, that air on more than 100 stations. Dr. Chapman also serves as senior associate pastor at Calvary Baptist Church in Winston-Salem, North Carolina.
Dr. Chapman holds BA and MA degrees in anthropology from Wheaton College and Wake Forest University, respectively, MRE and PhD degrees from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, and has completed postgraduate work at the University of North Carolina and Duke University.
Dr. Chapman and his wife have two adult children and two grandchildren, and currently live in Winston-Salem, North Carolina.

Customer Reviews

4.8 out of 5 stars
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This book profoundly changed my life.
Darla Beers
If you enjoy Gary Chapman's books I can also recommend: The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate.
Rebecca of Amazon
This book is full of practical, real information to help you love in a very authentic way those you encounter on a daily basis.
R. or S. McDoniel

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

36 of 37 people found the following review helpful By Christina Lockstein on July 16, 2008
Format: Hardcover
Love as a Way of Life by Gary Chapman is a book that could literally change the world. Chapman, who is most famous for his The Five Love Languages, has years of experience couselling couples and uses this knowledge to help us improve our own relationships. He breaks down love into several categories: forgiveness, honesty, kindness, generosity, forgiveness, and patience. He explains why each aspect of love is essential in showing true love in every part of our lives. Not just our marriage, but in parenting, at work, and even in the people we meet every day at the grocery store. I am truly humbled by how little love I show to other people in my life, and I'm working to make serious changes. If everyone read this book and incorporated the changes into their lives, it would change the world from home to city to country and beyond. I can't recommend this book enough.
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25 of 25 people found the following review helpful By L. Diane Wolfe, author & professional speaker on July 16, 2008
Format: Hardcover
Love as a Way of Life is another incredible book on love and relationships. It focuses on the true joy of loving others and giving without expecting to receive.
Chapman defines the seven characteristics of a loving person, touching on many aspects of each. He outlines how to become less involved with ourselves and shift our focus to reaching out to others in kindness. We learn patience in all areas of our lives. Chapman explains that justice and love must work together in forgiveness. The chapter on courtesy shows what it means to be `friendly-minded' and helps us recognize the struggles of others. He demonstrates true humility and sacrificing for others. Generosity is portrayed as the giving of oneself in all aspects of life. Finally, he discusses honesty and expressing it in a loving manner.
Chapman begins these seven chapters with a checklist and ends with ways to apply it to your own life. The final section of the book shows how to apply these characteristics to specific areas and relationships in our life, including marriage, children and work.

Love as a Way of Life is similar to The Five Love Languages in that it encourages us to seek ways to enrich the lives of others, but it goes much deeper. You cannot know the Love Language of every person you meet, but you can learn to treat them with love. Chapman breaks these principals down to everyday living, from complex family dynamics to situations such as driving or shopping. Love as a Way of Life is relatable to all ages and walks of life, as the principals are universal.

Chapman makes you think about doing the small things that really do matter. The checklists are thought provoking - when you find a characteristic that is one of your weak spots, it really makes you pause.
Read more ›
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20 of 20 people found the following review helpful By S. Jones on July 25, 2008
Format: Hardcover
This book is from the guy who wrote the 5 languages of love thing. He talked about the 5 ways we want to be loved: acts of service, gifts, quality time, words of affirmation and physical touch. In this book he is doing a sort of "prequel" to the 5 languages. He said that in counseling people he found that the 5 languages was a great revelation, but it did not push people to want to act. They were, in fact, sometimes put off by the fact that they discovered their husband/wife's love language was acts of service. They still weren't going to DO any of that stuff. This book discusses the 7 traits of a loving person, habits we need to cultivate in order to become loving people. Its not enough to KNOW what love language someone desires, we must BE a loving person in order to put that knowledge into action.

The first premise is a relief for me: love is an action, not a feeling. An action can be put into practice, or practiced. Feelings are fleeting and ever changing. I've always heard that love is a decision, you decide to love and this book explains that statement very well.

The seven secrets are: kindness, patience, forgiveness, courtesy, humility, generosity and honesty. Its easy to read that list and think, "well, yeah" but Chapman gives such practical advice mixed with illustrations that you find yourself learning without meaning to.

This is the book that will give you the proper motivation to love others (Christ) and the tools to pull it off better than you are currently. It will give you the tools to being a better parent, co-worker, spouse, friend. Most of all, its a simple reminder that your job here on earth is to love.
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful By Terra Hangen VINE VOICE on July 25, 2008
Format: Hardcover
If you use some of the ideas Gary Chapman shares in his "Love as a Way of Life", you will improve the quality of life for yourself and everyone around you. This is self-improvement with the focus on treating other people better, a refreshing switch from many self-help programs.
Mr. Chapman uses short insightful stories about people he has helped as a marriage and family life counselor, to suggest to readers how they can easily apply techniques to improve themselves, and affect family, friends and strangers in an upbeat way.
He discusses seven virtues: kindness, patience, forgiveness, courtesy, humility, generosity, and honesty and I imagine all of us can improve in some of these areas.
He gives fun little questionaires including "How patient am I?".
I turned to the chapter "Making love a way of life in the workplace", since I spend so many hours at work Monday through Friday, and I aim to make those hours pleasant, and even joyful at times. He has a lot of focus on marriages and family and tells some sweet stories about long successful marriages, which are great inspirations.
In the chapter on courtesy he offers advice like "Make requests, not demands" and "Once a failure has been confessed and forgiven, never bring it up again." These are good suggestions to keep in mind and to follow.
Everyone I know admits that they are impatient, for example. Forgiveness is another area that many of us can use help in achieving. Every reader will find helpful tips here, for some aspects of their life that can use rejuvenation.
Terra Hangen, author of Scrapbook of Christmas Firsts: Stories to Warm Your Heart and Tips to Simplify Your HolidayA Scrapbook of Christmas Firsts: Stories to Warm Your Heart and Tips to Simplify Your Holidays
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