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I Love You, Let's Meet: Adventures in Online Dating Hardcover – February 1, 2007

13 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Vitzthum has left no stone unturned in the world of online dating, from her love/hate relationship with the hipster-oriented to the facts behind the "science" of matching sites like and and the musings of a charming, well-educated, British Craigslist addict. While the book contains both fairy tales and horror stories, Vitzthum's case studies and interviews fall somewhere in the middle, a reflection of her own ambivalence about this world of "people-shoppers." More of a meditation than a guide, this volume combines research and the author's personal experiences into a genuinely funny and informative read. (Feb. 1)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

About the Author

Virginia Vitzthum is a journalist and former sex columnist for She has written for the Village Voice, Elle, Ms., Time Out, and many other publications. She lives in Brooklyn, New York.

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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 304 pages
  • Publisher: Little, Brown and Company; 1 edition (February 1, 2007)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0316057843
  • ISBN-13: 978-0316057844
  • Product Dimensions: 5.8 x 1 x 8.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (13 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,954,902 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

6 of 7 people found the following review helpful By Writer Man on March 14, 2007
Format: Paperback
At first blush, the subject of this book might seem a bit light, but don't be fooled. This is not just a book about online dating--it's about many of life's deepest questions: how we perceive ourselves and others, how we present ourselves to the world, the deep mystery of romantic love, the difficult search for happiness, and ultimately, how we can live out E.M. Forster's challenge to Only Connect. The broad spectrum of personalities and stories makes for challenging, thought-provoking reading, and--in very engaging prose--the author bravely and honestly confronts her own romantic history. Highly recommended.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By Marcia Semmes on March 8, 2007
Format: Hardcover
Even married people and nuns will find these tales from the dating front interesting--I found myself reliving the fun and horror of that world as Vitzthum shared her own story and others, with a twenty-first century spin.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By mungo181 on March 7, 2007
Format: Paperback
Neither a polemic nor full of accolades, I love You, Let's Meet is a well-reasoned and well-researched book exploring the overwhelming world of online dating. Not everyone in ILYLM finds the love of his life online, nor does everyone encounter sleezy liars out to cheat them of their life-savings. The real-life stories are are at once funny and sad as people just like you and me traverse cyberspace in search of their soul mates. Although written with a voyeur's eye, Vitzthum also takes the plunge into online dating, exploring her own feelings about the trend and what she thinks living online means for the future of romantic relationships. I Love You, Let's Meet is a great combination of philosophical analysis and juicy gossip.
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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful By M. Chello on April 24, 2007
Format: Paperback
To the extent that Vitzthum's method is descriptive and narrative, the book is a humble and efficient dossier. But in its analysis and commentary the book rises above reportage to the precincts of the humanistic essay. `What does it mean?' and `What does it mean to me?' open up cogent and sometimes brilliant meditations on the nature of human happiness, the social and linguistic construction of the self, and the manners and morals of courtship in the electronic age.

The book is wickedly funny in its dissection of the foibles of the hapless and the meretricious in this agonistic merry-go-round, and moving in its reflections on the attendant disappointments. Nor is the irreducible strangeness of looking for love in a computer database lost on Vitzthum, who brings an anthropologist's curiosity to her careful teasing out of the semiotic codes and deep structure of these online milieux, and the lifeworlds they help constitute.

Juxtaposing the almost magical potential of the apparatus with the various unsatisfactory denouments (some arising from the daters themselves and some from the medium), Vitzthum evokes the magnitude of exertion, the emotional wear-and-tear, of protracted cycles of optimism and frustration. But among the tales of Sisyphean labor are (true) stories that happen to end well, if not in full fairy-tale glow, at least in ways that are real and authentic in their humanness and particularity.

Above all, as she tells us toward the end, the author herself refuses to be crushed or disheartened. In so refusing, it seems to me, Vitzthum is making a reasoned, informed assessment that the potential is there, and that the odds are sufficient to the adventure, if daunting. She claims to persist not rationally but as an act of faith; but such a claim seems evidence of her intellectual modesty. Demonstrably there can be a there there, with Vitzthum's volume a stark and charming guidebook for the journey.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Easy Reader on March 26, 2007
Format: Paperback
As an experienced online dater, I can say that this book is spot on. I wouldn't say it's a How-To online date book, but it does give a real glimpse into the workd of online dating. Just about everything she writes about I have experienced first hand (except for the gay/lesbian dating). It even made me examine some of the subconscious choices I have made and realize why I did it. Great book!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Rebecca L. Morgan on April 25, 2007
Format: Paperback
I was introduced to I Love You, Let's Meet through a reader to my blog who posted the link to a YouTube video in a comment. I thought the video humorously captured what happens far too often with online dating -- you become enamored with someone through emails, IMs and phone calls. Then you meet, and nothing. No attraction, no chemistry.

I wanted to know more about the book the video promotes, I Love You, Let's Meet, by Virginia Vitzthum.

The book is a mix of interviews Virginia conducted with a broad spectrum of online daters, all ages, sexual orientations, and marital status (!), interspersed with her own experiences online dating.

Virginia's writing style is also a mix: some sociologist, some memoirist, some humorist. She sprinkles salty language and sexually explicitness in with her thoughtful insights. She tells the stories of her interviewees and adds perspective to what she hears.

It is not a light read, but instead one which seriously examines the motivations and experiences of online daters. However, the serious parts are balanced with some irony and humor, so you don't stay mired in seriousness so long as to be tedious. The opposite in fact, as you want to read more of the world she examines through the stories her interviewees tell. But unlike other memoir/story-based books, she doesn't ply the experiences for humor by making fun of the storytellers or her own former dates.
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