Love You, Mean It: A True Story of Love, Loss and Friendship [Hardcover]

Patricia Carrington (Author), Julia Collins (Author), Claudia Gerbasi (Author), Ann Haynes (Author), Eve Charles (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: August 23, 2006

At a time of great loss, nothing heals like the power of friendship

Time heals all wounds, they say. But when your husband dies suddenly, on a glorious sunny day when all he did was go to work, it takes more than the passage of time to get you through. It takes the love and support of women who are exactly where you are -- and when you’re lucky enough to find them, you cling to each other until you’re strong enough to stand on your own. The truths you discover in the process are universal, compelling, and altogether inspiring.

That was the lesson learned by Pattie Carrington, Julia Collins, Claudia Gerbasi, and Ann Haynes, four thirty-something women whose husbands worked at the World Trade Center. Before September 11, 2001, they didn’t know each other, but in the months following that horrible day they came together, drawn as much by their diverse backgrounds as their shared tragedy. At their very first meeting, the foursome realized their bond was too special to ignore, and in no time their Widows’ Club had cemented into a source of hope and, soon, love that saw them through their darkest hours, and forward. They took to signing off emails and phone conversations with a lighthearted phrase: Love You, Mean It. "Feeling this love for one another meant our hearts were beginning to open again. It was a risk -- love brought with it the ever-present possibility of loss. But this was a risk worth taking. More than ever, we understood how important it was to put love at the center of our lives."

A celebration of friendship, optimism, and empathy, Love You, Mean It is a shared memoir of rebuilt lives. It will offer hope to anyone who has suffered a loss, and exhilarate readers from coast to coast.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Four young women widowed by the 9/11 attacks on the World Trade Center were so bereft, so inconsolable, that they ended up forming their own support group, the "Widows Club." True, they found sympathy everywhere—from in-laws, co-workers, friends, grief professionals—but even their dearest intimates couldn't offer the absolutely unconditional acceptance and understanding of a sister sufferer. Collins could weep and tell stories about Tommy for hours, days or years, and Haynes wouldn't find it tiresome. Gerbasi could tell Carrington she'd seen "signs" of Bart—a bird outside her window, a bedside light flickering—and Carrington would understand, because her Caz was also sending messages. None of these women were interested in being "the perfect September 11 widow," working on protest committees, testifying before Congress and organizing fund-raisers. They just wanted to get through a day without dissolving into tears. In interfolded accounts, they each discuss how they met their husbands, how they spent September 11 and all the many ways they grieved. In the end, they each found ways to open themselves to new love, careful to keep the "Boys" and the Widows Club ever dear. "Love you, mean it," they'd tell each other over and over—and readers will love them, too. Appearances on 20/20 and Good Morning America. (Sept.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From Booklist

Many books have been written about 9/11, but this collection is unique. All four contributors became widows when their husbands were killed in the terrorist attacks. Their shared experiences inspired them to form the "Widows Club." Now they write about how each of them met their spouses, their initial individual grief, and how bonds formed through sadness grew into a friendship that has led to evenings out and vacation getaways. It is clear that the women care a great deal for one another and that their friendships are critical to moving forward in their lives. In that respect, their book will transcend interest in 9/11 and extend to anyone who has lost a partner in a sudden and unexpected way. Unfortunately, though, the narrative shifts from joint third person to singular first person, which proves confusing at key points. Nonetheless, this is recommended for readers looking for a largely nonpolitical and intensely personal viewpoint on 9/11's aftermath. Colleen Mondor
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 336 pages
• Publisher: Hyperion (August 23, 2006)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1401302297
• ISBN-13: 978-1401302290
• Product Dimensions: 9.3 x 6.3 x 1.1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (29 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,290,155 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

22 of 23 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Very Special Book.., August 19, 2006

By 

C. Poler (Connecticut) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Love You, Mean It: A True Story of Love, Loss and Friendship (Hardcover)

After receiving my copy of Love You, Mean It, I stopped everything else in my life to sit down and read about how September 11, 2001 changed the lives of these 4 special women. I didn't stop reading until the last page was finished..

Well organized and written, I read account after account of how the Widow's Club (WC) coped with the trauma that appears so suddenly after lives are suddenly interrupted.
The women who wrote this book were linked together after the World Trade Center was attacked and after reading their many stories, it was understood by this reader that the love and support that they received from each other was absolutely instrumental in the preliminary stages of emotional and mental repair after the death of a loved one.
Hearing about the love each WC member had for their spouse, the feelings and emotions and heartbreak after "the boys" were killed and the steps taken to repair their lives was incredible.. It made me focus on those friends that I have recently lost and made me understand that my feelings after these losses have been experienced and felt deeply by others.

If you have ever had someone, so special in your life, taken from you, read this book.. If you want to be better prepared on how to deal with the loss of life and all the intrinsic feelings that are a result, it is a must read. LUMI is a guidebook detailing the accounts of four women who have cried, coped with internal and external forces, questioned their own existances and somehow, found the strength to forge ahead and continue on.. the reader will understand through the written words of this book, that you can too.

To quote from the last 2 sentences in the book.. "Make the decision to live. It would be wrong not to."

Thanks Patty, Julia, Ann and Claudia for sharing these very special stories.

12 of 12 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Beautiful, Honest Testament To Friendship And Love, September 11, 2006

By 

Stephanie N. Medoff "Outside of a dog, a book... (Tucson, Arizona) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Love You, Mean It: A True Story of Love, Loss and Friendship (Hardcover)

Love You, Mean It: A True Story of Love, Loss, and Friendship is the story of four young women. All happily married, all in the prime of their lives, all widowed by the 9/11 attacks on the World Trade Center and all unable to find someone who understands exactly what they're going through inside... In spite of the support of family, friends and well wishers what they really needed was kindred spirits, someone who was going through what they were going through and that was what they found in each other, someone who knew.

Together, "The Widows Club" cried, suffered, struggled, and moved forward. And then they decided to let us share it with them...

Not knowing any of this, I bought the book on a whim and when I got it home, I opened it to flip through, just a quick glance, then I'd read it later... I didn't put it down until I had finished it, at around 4 o' clock in the morning. In the hours that had passed I had laughed with this book. I cried with this book. I learned about the women and "the boys". I went along on first dates and to weddings. I felt the fear of seeing those first moments of 9/11 on TV and then the knowing that something terrible had happened... And through it all, I felt extremely lucky to have been allowed to be a part of the journey that Patricia, Julia, Claudia, and Ann shared in their memoir.

This is an amazing book. It's the story of true friendship and is an amazing tribute not just to the beloved husbands who were murdered that day, but to the wonderful women who were left behind.

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Reviewed by Michelle Boucher-Ladd, January 25, 2007

By 

Front Street Reviews www.frontstreetreviews.com - See all my reviews

This review is from: Love You, Mean It: A True Story of Love, Loss and Friendship (Hardcover)

So much has been written, documented, televised, sung about, and dramatized about 9/11. It is the event that shapes so much of our politics and influences our identity as a nation. For those Americans who didn't know someone who was murdered on 9/11 it is easy to group them all as the victims of 9/11. We forget that September 11, 2001 is not a date that shaped our history but that it is an on going history that continues to be defined. Love You, Mean It is a tribute to four men who were killed at the World Trade Center and is written by their widows.

Brought together by the shocking loss of their husbands Julia Collins, Pattie Carrington, Ann Haynes, and Claudia Gerbasi form a Widow's Club in July of 2002 and soon find their group to be an essential source of resilience, strength, and friendship. It is a book about how women bond and how different people grieve and grow. It is a book about love, "and the best part of love is that it can grow and you can love more than one person.

Love You, Mean It chronicles the relationships of Claudia and Bart, Julia and Tommy, Ann and Ward, and Pattie and Caz. It highlights their romances, ambitions, bereavement, memories, and their on going lives. Their stories are at the same time very sad and extremely up lifting. It is a book about gathering courage and moving forward. It is about friendship and empathy and about being a widow. It is about being in love and meaning it.

Aside from the resounding message of empathy and hope, Love You, Mean It is really well written. It has a lot of names and people to keep straight and does a remarkable job of not losing the reader with these complexities. The chapters run smoothly from each widow's viewpoint and the language is candid and personal without being overly nostalgic or melancholy. The reader comes away with a sense that they know these women, that the widows could be our co-workers, our neighbors, our friends, our sisters, that we are linked by more then September 11th and that this story has not been finished but is ongoing and new.