Customer Reviews

I Love You Rituals

5 star:		(20)
4 star:		(6)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

is something I hear just about every day. My six and three year old love - absolutely love - the finger plays and songs from this book. The negative, frightening themes from nursery rhymes are removed and replaced with loving positive words and images.

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe becomes:
There was a wonderful woman who lived in a shoe
She had so many children she knew exactly what to do
She fed them and hugged them and tucked them in bed
I love you, I love you is what she said.

that's just one short snip of a book chock full of ideas surrounding saying goodbye, reconnecting when picking up (after school, playdates, overnights etc). There are little rituals for birthdays, bedtimes, transitional times (think new baby).

I just can't say enough positive things about this book. When my kids are or I am in a funk and we're both being oppositional, this reconnects us. Connected people *want* to cooperate. Connected people *want* to be a part of the family. Connected people *want* to help. It just can turn things around for us in an instant.

while this was the first Becky Baily item I bought, she's since become my favorite parenting author. I found _Easy to Love, Dificult to Discipline_ a bit of a bore to read (and I can usually slog through anything), so I bought all 11 of her CD's (her lectures on CD) from beckybailey.com They've been nothing short of incredible.

oh, and I strongly disagree with the person who mentioned that 'it's too specific' and only for families who foster or adopt. I really can't imagine why it would only be for those situations. It would work for anyone: parent of bio children, adopted children, foster children....teachers and theirstudents.. ...grandparents.. ...babysitters. anyone who wants to help kids feel connected and loved.

I just purchased this book after having been recommended it by a leading expert on kids with attachment/severe trauma problems. It is wonderful, easy to read and makes much sense from a clinician's and parent's perspective.

I recommend it to all with young children, it is full of nurturing and fun activities with full explanations and rationale. Certainly a must buy for any adoptive/foster parent to increase trust, attachment, and bonding.

Kandice J.

The first three chapters alone are well worth the price. Dive in with an open mind. I usual wince when authors are out to save the world (the last statement in Chapter 1 is "The healing of ourselves, of each other, of our children, and of society begins one bond at a time.") but I put that aside and really was moved by the view the author gives.

I put "Noticing" (pg 31) to the test immediately, and was amazed at the reaction from my 2 year-old (a recent adoptive placement) as well as a young playmate in the park (his dad was busy chatting on his cell phone). Using her technique defintely brought a more relaxed and joyful response than "yeah, great!" and the other examples she gives of typical parent responses.

That said, I haven't made much use of the rituals. Most are beyond the needs of my toddler, and I haven't found one I was willing to try with my 11 year-old.

I purchased this book after sitting in on one of my 3yr old daughter's preschool classes. The teacher was singing the book's version of Twinkle Twinkle Little star. I found it so refreshing. "Twinkle, twinkle little star. What a wonderful child you are. With bright eyes and nice round cheeks. Talented person from head to feet. Etc, etc." I wanted to see more. I like this book for all of my kids (1, 2 and 3yrs old). Some of the reviews talk about how this is only for kids who have experienced trauma. Where the book advises on that, it is not the focus. All of our kids have had totally "normal" experiences in life and still respond really well to the book. Who wouldn't? It simply gives ideas on ways to engage with your kids in a fun and loving way. I am addicted to the hearty giggles these nursery rhymes bring out in my kids.
p.s. for what it is worth, I am a part-time pediatrician and this is a book I would recommend to families as a professional also.

I finally found a book with positive nursey rhymes! The author has brilliantly rewritten the familiar old rhymes (which are often negative and scary) in a reframed more positive manner (i.e. three blind mice become three caring mice etc).

The re-written rhymes make this world seem like a more loving and caring place for a child. Children grow up so fast...soon enough they'll be in the "real world". Why not let the little ones enjoy a safe loving place, where everything is good, a little longer? Highly recommend to give children a sense of security and trust. Also, the game ideas are fantastic. You can't go wrong with this book.

When I received this book and read the ideas, I thought they sounded great for very young children, but doubted I could use them with my 8 and 9yo. I thought they would see it as "babyish" and silly......but I gave a few of them a go, and they absolutely loved them! And asked for more and more! I think these are great for the older kids like my foster kids, who missed out on that kind of interaction when they were little. I am enjoying it, and so are the kids....I will do a couple each day till I become more familiar and can do them without the book.

I totally agree with Shelley--the explanation of "noticing" alone was totally huge for me and my 16-month old. It makes so much sense and has given us some of our most precious moments together--already. I think this will be a great strategy for us as she grows into a teenager. As part of noticing, I use imitating a lot--doing what my toddler does to show that I'm watching and what she does is important to me. She loves this and laughs and laughs. It makes her feel very important. I am a little intimidated by the finger plays, etc., but I'm sure I'll try them when my daughter is a little older.

I am a Kindergarten teacher and a grandmother. I have used many of the simple games and techiques suggested in this book on my grandchildren, and with my students. It never ceases to amaze me how such tiny, seemingly insignificant gestures and touches can have such a profound effect on young children. My K students will beg for these gentle games over and over - never tiring of the eye contact and affirmation they receive from them. The author's rationale is well documented. It makes a wonderful gift for new parents.

I do a lot of the things in this book this naturally, but it has some cute ideas; and when you are burnt out, you can just open the book and use one of theirs. love it!

This book is just what it claims to be in the title: a collection of rituals that reinforce messages of love and belonging. The explanation for the importance of said rituals is very brief. So, if you're looking for a book filled with substance and science, this isn't it. However, if you're seeking a wealth of ideas for finger plays and other sensory delights that provide opportunities to deeply bond with your child - this is THE book for you! Each activity only takes a minute or two so they are easy to incorporate into your day during transition times or moments of play with your little one. My happiest chilhood memories are of the simplest rituals my father used in play. I'm so happy to have found a book that helps me to create the same lasting memories for my own son.