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Love Your Enemies: How to Break the Anger Habit & Be a Whole Lot Happier Hardcover – October 1, 2013


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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 216 pages
  • Publisher: Hay House (October 1, 2013)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1401928145
  • ISBN-13: 978-1401928148
  • Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.5 x 0.9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (30 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #152,499 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Review

“If life is a struggle, this book is your friend. Its whispered truths,
like the first inklings of the dawn, bring both relief and
recognition. Return to it time and again; its good humor
and wise counsel are a balm for the soul.”
Mark Epstein, author of The Trauma of Everyday Life
 
“If there are two beings in the whole world whom I trust with my
whole heart to give powerful, honest, kind, and deeply truthful
teachings that can free us from burning in the mental anguish that
is the ‘new normal’ in these anxious and fear-ridden times, it is
Tenzin Bob Thurman and Sharon Salzberg. Having known both of
them for many years, I can say that I am blessed that they are with
me on this desert island called Earth.”
Krishna Das, musician and author of Chants of a Lifetime
 
“Brilliant! Love Your Enemies is possibly the most inspiring
and liberating meditation on love ever written.”
Robert Holden, Ph.D., author of Shift Happens! and Loveability

About the Author

      Sharon Salzberg, a teacher of meditation for more than 30 years, co-founded the Insight Meditation Society, the Forest Refuge, and the Barre Center for Buddhist Studies. Sharon’s work is based on the practices of mindfulness and metta, (lovingkindness), the aim of which is to cultivate love and compassion both for ourselves and for others. Her books include Lovingkindness, Faith, The Force of Kindness, and the New York Times bestseller Real Happiness.
      Tenzin Robert Thurman is the Jey Tsong Khapa Professor of Indo-Tibetan Buddhist Studies at Columbia University, holding the first endowed chair of Buddhist Studies in the United States. He is the author of the bestseller Inner Revolution, as well as Anger, Infinite Life, and other popular books. He is also a translator of Tibetan texts. He serves as co-founder and president of Tibet House US, a nonprofit organization dedicated to preserving the endangered culture of Tibet.


More About the Author

Sharon Salzberg has been a student of Buddhism since 1971, and leading meditation retreats worldwide since 1974. She teaches both intensive awareness practice (vipassana or insight meditation) and the profound cultivation of lovingkindness and compassion (the Brahma Viharas). She is a co-founder of the Insight Meditation Society in Barre, Massachusetts and The Barre Center for Buddhist Studies.

Sharon's latest book is Real Happiness At Work: Meditations for Accomplishment, Achievement, and Peace, published by Workman Publishing. She is a regular contributor to The Huffington Post and is also the author of several other books including the New York Times Best Seller, Real Happiness: The Power of Meditation: A 28-Day Program (2010), Love Your Enemies: How to Break the Anger Habit & Be a Whole Lot Happier with Robert Thurman (2013), Faith: Trusting Your Own Deepest Experience (2002), and Lovingkindness: The Revolutionary Art of Happiness (1995).

Sharon Salzberg is cofounder of the Insight Meditation Society (IMS) in Barre, Massachusetts. She has played a crucial role in bringing Asian meditation practices to the West. The ancient Buddhist practices of vipassana (mindfulness) and metta (lovingkindness) are the foundations of her work. "Each of us has a genuine capacity for love, forgiveness, wisdom and compassion. Meditation awakens these qualities so that we can discover for ourselves the unique happiness that is our birthright." For more information about Sharon, please visit: www.SharonSalzberg.com.



Customer Reviews

4.1 out of 5 stars
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See all 30 customer reviews
I was eager to read this book to see how effectively I could apply its lessons.
Patti Foy
Instead the writers walk you through the steps to a happier life, filled with love for yourself and others.
Yvonne M. Stegall
This is a really great thought provoking book that is based on the Buddhist philosophy.
M. Hodgin

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

27 of 31 people found the following review helpful By Cloris Kylie on October 8, 2013
Format: Kindle Edition
"Love Your Enemies: How to Break the Anger Habit & Be a Whole Lot Happier," Sharon Salzberg and Robert Thurman say.

When I read the title of this book, my first question was, "How can I love people who've hurt me if I'm labeling them `enemies'?" I've learned that as soon as I see someone as separate from me and label him or her, I'm acting out of my ego, which means I cannot really love a person I call enemy.

Early into the reading, however, Thurman answered my question. He clarifies that "ultimately, we have no enemies. We think of an enemy as someone--or something--that blocks our happiness. But no other being can block our happiness; true happiness comes from within. Therefore, ultimately, we have no enemies."

Salzberg and Thurman use the term "enemy" so we can clearly understand the message of love and acceptance they share with us. The book offers tools we can put in practice any time to come to terms with our so-called enemies. I especially enjoyed the basic and specialized meditations in the Appendix.

Also, the authors explain how "love" means to "wish for the happiness of someone," so if we send thoughts of happiness to our enemies, we might not only bring happiness to these human beings (who are probably tormented as a result of their own actions,) but also achieve inner peace.

The most thought-provoking aspect of this book is the idea that we all have four kinds of enemies:
1. The outer enemy (people or institutions who've hurt us and situations that frustrate us.)
2. The inner enemy (negative emotions such as anger, hatred, and fear.)
3.
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20 of 23 people found the following review helpful By Yvonne M. Stegall on September 30, 2013
Format: Hardcover
This is an amazing book. Love Your Enemies not only teaches you to deal better with bullies and those that have hurt you, but also with your inner demons. Think of the ways you talk to yourself at your darkest moments? This book will banish those words and thoughts from your life. What happens when that self-loathing is gone? You are able to be happier and more successful. This is a fantastic book, and it doesn't just tell you what you should do. Instead the writers walk you through the steps to a happier life, filled with love for yourself and others. *In an effort towards full disclosure, I must let you know that I received this book free from Hay House for review purposes.
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11 of 12 people found the following review helpful By Tim Larison on November 5, 2013
Format: Hardcover
I received a complementary copy of this book from Hay House for review purposes. The opinions are completely my own based on my experience.

Think of a person who really bugs you. Yes that one. Feel all the negative emotions as you imagine that person in the room with you right now. Did you know this supposed enemy could be one of your greatest teachers? That’s the premise put forth by Sharon Salzberg and Robert Thurman in their new book “Love Your Enemies: How to Break the Anger Habit & be a Whole Lot Happier”

“If there weren’t people trying to harm us or keep us from getting what we want, how would we learn patience and tolerance and forgiveness?” writes Thurman in the book’s introduction. People who anger us are just one type of enemy discussed by Thurman and Salzberg. There are three more:

The inner enemy: anger, hatred, fear, and other destructive impulses
The secret enemy: self-obsession and self-preoccupation, which isolate us from other people, leaving us frustrated and alone
The super-secret enemy: deep-seated self-loathing that keeps us from finding inner freedom and true happiness

The focus of “Love Your Enemies” is on what is happening inside of you, and not on other people. “The teachings and meditations in this book help us to draw on our own innate wisdom and compassion in order to transform our relationship with our enemies, both inner and outer,” writes Salzberg. Can I really be at peace no matter what others may say or do? A tall order, but “Loving Your Enemies” will move you towards that perspective.

I was confused with the mix of writing styles in the book. Robert Thurman is brilliant in his grasp of the human condition, but I find him difficult to understand at times. Salzberg is more down to earth.
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8 of 9 people found the following review helpful By Patti Foy on January 13, 2014
Format: Hardcover
I was going through a period where I was working through some anger toward someone who’s repeatedly frustrated me with her power games.

I was eager to read this book to see how effectively I could apply its lessons.

Well … In the end, I was a little disappointed but I still think this book has a lot to offer.

>>> Anger

First, I didn’t expect it to be quite so focused on blatant anger, but it is.

If you have issues with “anger management” and letting it fly when you’d rather not, then this would be a great book for you.

It touches on some of the more complex and subtle forms of anger such as feeling victimized, jealous, frustrated, resentful, etc. but its focus is on anger as an emotional outburst.

I have to admit, this may have been my own misunderstanding about what it was about. The subtitle is “How to Break the Anger Habit & Be a Whole Lot Happier”, after all! Still, the description led me to believe it would have a more broad application.

I already knew that in my case, I needed relief more from my own thoughts and emotions than from the person with whom I’d been interacting!

>>> Outer vs. Inner

The book begins by addressing outer conditions and our surface experience of them, and works its way more and more inward to those parts of our being that we’re not as aware of.

For the first half, I thought I didn’t like it because so much of the outer that I/we are aware of was not so new or revealing.

But the second half gets much deeper and is more what I was after.
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