The Love of Your Life: What We Learn from Living in the Grip of Passion [Paperback]

Susan Baur (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: November 1, 2002

This book is both a celebration of and an insightful look at what happens to people when they have experienced the one great love of their life. The author, a practicing psychologist, experienced an unforgettable love and then began asking two hundred people what the love of a lifetime meant to them. In every instance, it changed their lives forever. She found that each lover emerges from this relationship, or this phase of a lifelong relationship, a different person-less the innocent observer of life and more the experienced participant.

For many, what seemed to count more than any contentment they experienced was how the romance changed their view of themselves and the world. Story-based and dramatically told, The Love of Your Life explains how this incredible experience:
-- Blasts away the innocent picture we have of ourselves and reveals a passionate, complex person hungry for life
-- Throws us into a storm of unexpected vulnerability and vitality
-- Teaches us to commit to a relationship despite the possibility of loss
-- Instructs us to let go of the controls and give ourselves over to love, and proves that we are loveable by giving, not getting, love
-- Gives us a strength called by many names-an inner certainty that is stronger and more important than outside events
-- Prepares us for a lifetime of love
-- Explains the most profound lesson of a lifetime: why our one, true, great love has changed who we are forever

Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

Finding the love of a lifetime isn't always pleasant; it can be disruptive, dangerous, and uncomfortable, reveals practicing psychologist Baur. After falling head over heels herself, she felt compelled to write this study and celebration of the transformative powers of love. What indeed happens "happily ever after"? Or if one's great love prematurely dies or turns out to be a bad apple? Drawing on personal experience and particularly well-told stories of 200 interviewees from different social and cultural backgrounds, Baur documents love's different components (e.g., imagination, mystery, passion) and finds commonalities in the journeys of different people-the journey for which Daphne Rose Kingma's Finding True Love supposedly prepares people. This is not a find-love-by-the-numbers book, but what little advice Baur gives is pretty good, e.g., "show up, pay attention, tell the truth, and let go of the outcome." If you haven't found the love of your lifetime yet, get ready for the ride of your life.
Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc.

About the Author

Susan Baur has written six other books, including Confiding: A Psychotherapist and Her Patients Search for Stories to Live By and The Intimate Hour: Love and Sex in Psychotherapy. She lives in North Falmouth, Massachusetts.

Product Details

• Paperback: 272 pages
• Publisher: Sourcebooks Casablanca (November 1, 2002)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1570718717
• ISBN-13: 978-1570718717
• Product Dimensions: 7.8 x 6.2 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,558,977 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Discover books, learn about writers, read author blogs, and more.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Making Sense of Heartbreak, December 17, 2002

By A Customer

This review is from: The Love of Your Life: What We Learn from Living in the Grip of Passion (Paperback)

A year ago the love of my life left me and I thought I would never understand why or be able to love again until a friend gave me The Love of Your Life by Susan Baur. This book, based on 200 stories of great love among ordinary people, shows that many stormy, passionate romances have a hard time turning themselves into a lifelong partnership. However, that doesn't mean they are unimportant or that they aren't real love. Reading the stories of lucky and unlucky lovers, I could finally see that what's truly lucky is the chance to be swept away in a love that teaches us to see the world in a new way. It's tough to care for a man with all your heart and soul yet have no control over what he'll do with your heart. Yet now I see that heart-throb or heartbreak, the love of your life is an experience not to be missed. As the book says, the love of a lifetime can lead to a lifetime of love.

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars You are not alone - it helps to know, December 9, 2008

By 

M. R. Estante "book reader" (San Francisco, CA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Love of Your Life: What We Learn from Living in the Grip of Passion (Paperback)

If anything, knowing that you had a love that meant so much, reminds you of the gift of being human. This collection helps you see that you are not alone. That love doesn't stay but you will one day not hurt anymore. A highly recommended book for those who seek solace after losing a great love.

6 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars For those who have forgotten, Dr. Baur helps you to remember, December 12, 2002

By A Customer

This review is from: The Love of Your Life: What We Learn from Living in the Grip of Passion (Paperback)

What a deeply personal, moving book! With three kids, two on the dating scene, I wanted to get back in touch with the feelings that I had when I was their age. Believe me, I wouldn't want to slip into their shoes for a minute. Finding Dr. Baur's book has brought me back in touch with my own feelings and is helping me be an encouraging parent through this wonderful and sometimes confusing time in my children's lives. The book lived up to my expectations right in the first few pages when she poignantly discusses how her son met the "love of his life." Whether you're looking for the "love of your life" or are watching life unfold for the ones you love, this book is a cherished gift to read. I'm deeply thankful for Dr. Baur's research on her subjects of all ages and personal reflections.