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Love the One You're With [Hardcover]

Emily Giffin
3.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (445 customer reviews)

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Book Description

May 13, 2008
How do you know if you’ve found the one? Can you really love the one you’re with when you can’t forget the one who got away?

Emily Giffin, author of the New York Times bestselling novels Something Borrowed, Something Blue, and Baby Proof, poses these questions—and many more—with her highly anticipated, thought-provoking new novel Love the One You’re With.

Ellen and Andy’s first year of marriage doesn’t just seem perfect, it is perfect. There is no question how deep their devotion is, and how naturally they bring out the best in each other. But one fateful afternoon, Ellen runs into Leo for the first time in eight years. Leo, the one who brought out the worst in her. Leo, the one who left her heartbroken with no explanation. Leo, the one she could never quite forget. When his reappearance ignites long-dormant emotions, Ellen begins to question whether the life she’s living is the one she’s meant to live. At once heartbreaking and funny, Love the One You’re With is a tale of lost loves and found fortunes—and will resonate with anyone who has ever wondered what if.

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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

A chance encounter with an old flame in Giffin's bittersweet, sometimes mawkish fourth novel causes Ellen Dempsey to consider anew what could have been. Shortly after marrying Andy, Ellen runs into Leo, her intense first love. Leo, a moody writer, has secretly preoccupied Ellen ever since he broke her heart, so after seeing him again, Ellen wonders if her perfect life is truly what she wants or simply what she was expected to want. This scenario is complicated by Ellen's past: the early death of her mother and subsequent disintegration of her family have left Ellen insecure and saddled with unresolved feelings of guilt. These feelings intensify when Andy's career takes the newlyweds from Ellen's beloved New York City to suburban Atlanta. As Ellen's feelings of inadequacy and resentment grow, her marriage begins to crumble. The novel is sometimes bogged down by characters so rooted in type that they, and the story line, can only move in the most obvious trajectory. However, Giffin's self-aware narrator and focus on troubled relationships will satisfy those looking for a light women's lit fix. (May)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Review

"Giffin's talent lies in taking relatable situations and injecting enough wit and suspense to make them feel fresh. The cat-and-mouse game between Ellen and Leo lights up these pages, their flirtation as dangerously addictive as a high-speed car chase." —People
 
“Giffin is a dependably down-to-earth, girlfriendly storyteller.” —New York Times
 
“Giffin excels at creating complex characters and stories that ask us to explore what we really want from our lives. LOVE THE ONE YOU'RE WITH skillfully explores the secret workings of a young woman's heart, and the often painful consequences of one's actions.” —The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
 
"Giffin’s fluid storytelling and appealing characters give her novels a warm, inviting air, and her fourth is no exception. Giffin’s snappy prose makes Ellen’s dilemma compelling, once again proving she’s at the top of the pack." —Booklist
 
"Though it's easy to resent Ellen for taking her ideal life for granted, Giffin's vivid depictions of Ellen's steamy past with Leo help you commiserate with this realistically insecure woman." —Entertainment Weekly
 
“Giffin’s books are funny, sensitive and truthful depictions of female friendships and the complexities of marriage and motherhood.” —Atlanta Peach
 
“Ellen's conflicting thoughts and emotions ring true from page one through the book's teary (well, at least for this reader) conclusion.” —Ft. Worth Star-Telegram
 
“Giffin’s book is instantly relatable. Few don't wonder how their lives would be different if they had turned left rather than right at life's big forks. Her writing is realistic and entertaining. There are unexpected plot twists and measured jabs at materialism and Southern societal norms, and Giffin's funny, honest voice lends credence to this modern riff on the old adage that the grass appears greener on the other side of the fence.” —Charlotte Observer
 
“I so loved Emily Giffin's last three books that I almost didn't want to crack her latest effort, for fear it would be the Superman IV of the author's literary opus. Mercifully, the new book not only lives up to its elegantly constructed predecessors, it arguably surpasses them in style, maturity, emotion and overall relatability. An achingly honest look at the notion of love as the sum of our choices as opposed to the contents of our vows.” —Edmonton Journal
 
“Giffin’s books are smart, sad and witty . . . Giffin is bold enough to allow a mainstream heroine to be happily married while still maintaining her curiosity about the road (or the guy) not taken, let alone considering infidelity. And she’s able to show the strains that these considerations take on family, friends and husband . . . It’s the difference between appealing to a mass audience and a reader who wants her ideals challenged rather than affirmed, often intentionally ending in ambiguity and compromise. It’s the stuff of real life, stripped of literary pretensions.” —National Post
 
“Who hasn't fantasized about what might have happened if? Giffin does an excellent job of letting us live that one out vicariously while telling us a story that is so modern, multi-layered and moving that you'll feel a little sad when it comes to a close.” —Gentry magazine
 
“Giffin is a masterful storyteller and manages to infuse energy, freshness and suspense into what could have been yet another predictable ‘woman-at-a-crossroads’ story. (Giffin could, in fact, teach some literary authors a few things about how to write compelling plots with strong motors.) The best thing about this book is Giffin doesn't play it safe or shy away from allowing her heroine to explore lust, infidelity and the road not taken. The dichotomy of passion and comfort, lust and security, is nothing new to literature, and yet in Giffin's deft hands, I really had no idea who Ellen would wind up with until the very last page, and more important, I actually cared.” —The Globe and Mail
 
“This sweet tale satisfies through well-drawn characters who are forced to make some tough real-life decisions.” —Star
 
“Love that’s clouded by the memory of an old romantic relationship is the subject of Emily Giffin’s aptly titled LOVE THE ONE YOU'RE WITH. Readers will follow Ellen with fascination and trepidation as she enters the dangerous waters of what might have been—or still could be.” —Hartford Courant
 
“LOVE THE ONE YOU'RE WITH is a delicious novel for anyone ever caught between what is right and what is irresistible.” —Bookpage
 
"Giffin delivers another relatable and multifaceted heroine who may behave unexpectedly but will ultimately find her true path.” —Library Journal
 
“Giffin’s fourth novel demonstrate much depth as she explores the conflicts that arise between passion and common sense.” —Kansas City Star
 
“For anyone who has wondered about the path not taken. Thought-provoking . . . and perfect for an afternoon in the sun.” —New York Resident
 
“Giffin has a remarkable gift for taking banal relationship issues and infusing them with life through her characters. LOVE THE ONE YOU'RE WITH is Giffin’s most moving book yet. The romantic tension hangs off the pages like webs, trapping the characters as they attempt to live conventional lives. As always, Giffin’s writing will leave you fully satiated.” —Woodbury magazine
 
 “Emily Giffin delivers the characters and stories we love in her fourth novel.” —OK! magazine
 
 “Giffin's characters are all quite likable, and this book is full of fun New York details and musings on the human condition that are more insightful than many books.” —Minneapolis Star-Tribune

 

 


Product Details

  • Hardcover: 342 pages
  • Publisher: St. Martin's Press; First Edition edition (May 13, 2008)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0312348673
  • ISBN-13: 978-0312348670
  • Product Dimensions: 9.5 x 6.4 x 1.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.6 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (445 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #233,729 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Emily Giffin is a graduate of Wake Forest University and the University of Virginia School of Law. After practicing litigation at a Manhattan firm for several years, she moved to London to write full time. The author of six New York Times bestselling novels, Something Borrowed, Something Blue, Baby Proof, Love The One You're With, Heart of the Matter, and Where We Belong, she lives in Atlanta with her husband and three young children. Visit www.emilygiffin.com.

Customer Reviews

Very easy to read, great book. Melissa Lallo  |  49 reviewers made a similar statement
She doesn't really seem to grow as much as characters in other Emily Giffin books. LadyoftheIvy  |  53 reviewers made a similar statement
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
162 of 188 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
I am an Emily Giffin fan. I am an unabashed, unashamed Emily Giffin fan. Her books pull me in the way a good date does, attracting me with a glossy exterior but keeping me interested by revealing a surprising depth.

LOVE THE ONE YOU'RE WITH contains the usual smart, charmed female protagonist living in a rather romanticized version of New York. But, in the first chapter, Giffin does something different. She introduces us to the main character's tempting dilemma - a charged encounter on the street with a hot, old boyfriend - before even telling us her name.

The character's name is Ellen. She's so analytical that she's practically obsessive compulsive. And she spends a lot of LOVE THE ONE YOU'RE WITH debating what she should - and should not - do about her cute, sweet husband Andy and her smoldering, brooding, dark and troubled ex-boyfriend Leo.

While Ellen's happy with Andy, she keeps thinking, "What if?"

This is the central problem of many a novel, but Giffin manages to hook the reader in with - dare I say it - some of the most erotic, intriguing flashbacks to Ellen's former relationship with Leo.

The husband Andy is a charming character, but, in Ellen's shoes, I would totally bang Leo. Giffin writes him as though he exudes sex through his eyes, through his pores. It's all very hard to resist.

And, it must be said, the inclusion of those scenes alongside many snarky references to my hometown of Atlanta kept me very entertained.

Strangely though, instead of flying all the way through it as I usually do, I flew through to Chapter Ten or so, then found myself taking a small break from it to concentrate on other things. Around the time that Ellen went to the charming, stylized Atlanta for the first time and then to photograph rock star Drake Watters, I was intrigued again.

After that, I was pulled back into the book every time that Ellen's sister Suzanne, a minor character with an edgy point-of-view, appeared on the page, though, for she was the voice I most related to in the long course of the book.

The core family of Ellen's in-laws at the center of the book, though, didn't always have my sympathies. In life, I tend to find those sorts of blessed, charmed, passive-aggressive, let's-put-on-a-smile types suspicious. Giffin makes was a very, very interesting move to have Ellen not just marry a man like Andy, but marry into her best friend and sister-in-law Margot's family. Giffin's excellent at exploring the dynamics of female friendship, and the Ellen-Margot friendship is satisfyingly complicated.

When Ellen is perplexed by her ex, she loses her chief confidante in Margot, for Margot's loyalty might go to her brother when news of what Ellen's secrets might come out.

The changing alliances of the marriage brings out Ellen's insecurity about her place, her feelings about her mother and how her own family must've felt intimidated and outmatched in comparison to the Grahams. Great, great stuff.

Of course, the protagonist Ellen might divide readers, for Ellen's in what many women would consider an ideal, supportive situation with a rich, successful and essentially sweet husband, loving in-laws, a nice house, a good career and such. Some readers might approach the book with the outset of "What the hell is she doing even thinking about infidelity when she's got it made?" But, once again, Giffin impresses by putting her protagonist squarely in the middle of what, at face value, seems like an indefensible position and manages to make her real, charming, vulnerable, reasonable and a heroine worthy of my attention as a reader and even my heart. Ellen, shockingly, considers infidelity for what feels like very valid reasons involving her heart and her choices.

It's a very smart book.
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43 of 49 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Another great book from Emily Giffin May 17, 2008
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase
On the surface, Ellen Graham appears to have the perfect life. She has a successful career as a photographer and is married to Andy, a wealthy lawyer who's a fantastic guy and also happens to be the brother of Ellen's best friend, Margot. Several months after Ellen and Andy's wedding, Ellen is going about her business on the streets of New York City when she bumps into Leo, her ex-boyfriend. Ellen hasn't seen or spoken to Leo in years, but as soon as she sees him again, she can't stop thinking about him. Eventually Ellen is forced to decide if what she had with Leo so long ago is worth fighting for, or if she truly belongs with the man she walked down the aisle with.

I always enjoy Emily Giffin's books, and "Love the One You're With" is no exception. Ellen is a very relatable character. I think a lot women encounter their own Leo at some point in their lives, a man who's difficult to completely let go of, for one reason or another. However, the book was very predictable right from the start, and it was pretty obvious how everything would turn out. (There's no such thing as an unhappy ending in an Emily Giffin book!) The ending in itself seemed rather rushed, in my opinion, and I would have enjoyed a longer Ellen/Margot reconciliation scene at the end: Their friendship was a major part of the book, and the resolution between the two characters took up less than three pages at the end of the novel. Still, I enjoyed this book from beginning to end and could not put it down.
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87 of 105 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Real love is about using the heart AND the head! May 19, 2008
Format:Hardcover
Not my favorite of Ms. Giffen's books, but interestingly, it is the book that I have been most able to relate to. I understand Ellen's need to understand and process, and ulimately resolve, the difference between the love she feels for her husband, and the love she feels/felt for her ex. I think that the book's realistic yet affirming take on love marriage and commitment is a welcome read for the so called "chick lit" genre.

At the same time, I lost patience with Ellen by page 75. By page 158, I was almost angry with her for taking so long to figure it out. By page 215, I simply vowed to finish the book by the end of the day, and get it over with. Lucky for me, the ending was sweet, and everyone that mattered was happy.

I think the problem is that there was not enough action and plot, and most of the characters -- the ones that I most wanted to learn about -- were kind of flat and one-dimensional. Overall, a good read, and I will buy Ms. Giffen's next book the week it comes out as well.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
3.0 out of 5 stars always disappointing
This is as formulaic and predictable as all of Griffin's other books. If you like her other ones, you'll enjoy this one.
Published 2 hours ago by EM
1.0 out of 5 stars Disappointed
I enjoyed her other books. But this book was awful. If you enjoy reading about exceedingly narcissistic spoiled women, then HEY! this book is for you. Read more
Published 6 days ago by Jennifer Lyons
2.0 out of 5 stars I've never disliked a main character so much.
The entire book seemed whiny in nature to me. If I wasn't reading this for a book club, I probably wouldn't have finished it.
Published 6 days ago by C. Martin
3.0 out of 5 stars It was ok
This was the second Emily Griffin book I've read, the first being 'Where we belong' and although I loved that book, it had strong characters and was well written. Read more
Published 6 days ago by Flying Kiwi
3.0 out of 5 stars Fun beach read
It was a fun easy read good to take on a trip, or for the beach! It was a bit predictable at times but, I finished it & it was enjoyable!
Published 8 days ago by Kathleen
4.0 out of 5 stars A pretty good chick lit read
It kept my attention pretty good. Very quick, and doesn't end quite like you think it will. I enjoyed it.
Published 10 days ago by Kim Gordon
5.0 out of 5 stars Loved it
Very heart felt and so many can relate to this book. I havr not been dissapointed with one of her books.
Published 12 days ago by Moni
2.0 out of 5 stars Childish excuses
The entire book was comprised of childish excuses for this woman to continue to meet up with her ex behind her husband's back. The infidelous nature of it was pathetic. Read more
Published 13 days ago by Margaret Reid
5.0 out of 5 stars Very realistic
I like this book because I can totally relate to the characters. They are so much like the people I meet throughout my life. Read more
Published 21 days ago by user1007
4.0 out of 5 stars Highly recommended
I have all of Emily Giffin's books and had to get this one also.
Although this is not the one I liked most, I would still recommend it
to any one who is looking for the... Read more
Published 1 month ago by Original
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Lamest Title Ever
There's an excerpt from this book in the Baby Proof paperback and it sounds like UES may be right on target. Not that it matters to me; I'll be buying the book no matter what!
Apr 3, 2008 by birdflower |  See all 24 posts
Ranked #17 in Book Sales on Amazon and not a single review? Righhhhhtttttt.
The book was just released today. I received my copy yesterday. Certainly not enough time to read the book and review it. It's ranked number 8 on Barnes and Noble. I'm sure the pre-orders bumped it up that high. I'm sure there will be plenty of reviews in the next week or so.
May 13, 2008 by Emily Taylor |  See all 4 posts
I've read it.
I was very much looking forward to reading this and I'm sad to say I was sorely disappointed. Ellen is not a bad character but the plot is utterly predictable. By page 30, I guessed exactly what lines she was going to cross, which ones she wouldn't, and what decision she would end up making. I... Read more
May 5, 2008 by Molly |  See all 7 posts
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