If You Loved Me, You'd Stop! What You Really Need to Know When Your Loved One Drinks Too Much [Paperback]

Lisa Frederiksen (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 1, 2009

If You Loved Me, You'd Stop! What You Really Need To Know When Your Loved One Drinks Too Much combines the most current brain research on alcoholism and alcohol abuse with Lisa Frederiksen's 40 years experience in dealing with these family problems. By explaining this research from the perspective of someone who has personally survived the ravages of a loved one's drinking, Ms. Frederiksen offers fresh hope for the more than 50 percent of Americans (and the one in four children) who have a family member with a drinking problem. Though it is a slim volume at 120 pages, this book nevertheless addresses a host of issues surrounding alcoholism and alcohol abuse, including co-addictions, DUIs (DWIs), underage drinking, dual diagnosis, codependency, and, importantly, the characteristics that distinguish alcoholism from alcohol abuse (excessive drinking). The book also contains numerous appendices containing references and suggestions for each issue addressed in the book. Frederiksen's book targets those who know their loved one drinks too much and believe that if they can just get them to stop, life will return to "normal." The target markets also include pediatricians, internists, domestic violence center employees and volunteers, mental health professionals, alcoholics, alcohol abusers, law and public policy makers, treatment center personnel, family law attorneys and child protective services personnel. As a reviewed author and nationally-recognized speaker, Ms. Frederiksen plans to use her influence to not only inspire individual readers, but also to change the national culture of denial that allows the problem of alcoholism and alcohol abuse to continue plaguing families. Just as new research and grassroots action made bike helmets, children's car seats, and no smoking signs commonplace, so too can attitudes and social assumptions about drinking be changed to create a healthier environment for everyone. To that end, Ms. Frederiksen has launched her website breakingthecycles.com to start a dialog to shift (and in cases simply start) the conversations around these important issues.

Editorial Reviews

Review

It answers so many questions - Lisa's understanding of the disease, her understanding of alcohol abuse and codependency and the way she presents it - it's just really a fine piece of work! --Caroll Fowler, M.A., MFT, Director of the Family Program at The Sequoia Center.

If You Loved Me, You'd Stop! does not pretend to have all the answers. Rather, its focus is to help you think about the issues involved when someone you love has a problem with alcohol. --Cathy Fleischman, RN, MSN

A must-read for anyone whose life has been touched by alcoholism. You'll never see this addiction in the same light again! --Beth Wilson, Integrative Life Coach and best-selling author, He's Just No Good For Me: A Guide to Leaving Destructive Relationships

About the Author

Lisa Frederiksen's story goes beyond her 40 years experience with family alcoholism and alcohol abuse. She has published six books (under her previous last name), including Women's Rights and Nothing Less, the Story of Elizabeth Cady Stanton; Freedom Cannot Rest, Ella Baker and the Civil Rights Movement; and Women's Work, the Story of Betty Friedan, as well as numerous articles on a wide-range of topics, including voting and empowerment, careers, workplace issues and public school financing. Frederiksen earned her Bachelor of Arts degree in Economics from the University of California at Davis in 1975 and worked during the subsequent twenty-year period in executive management positions. In 1996, she started her own consulting business to companies and nonprofit groups while pursing a long-held dream of writing forpublication and speaking on the subjects of her work. She is a reviewed author and nationally recognized speaker on women's history and lives in northern California.

Product Details

• Paperback: 120 pages
• Publisher: KLJ Publishing (January 1, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0981684408
• ISBN-13: 978-0981684406
• Product Dimensions: 8.8 x 5.9 x 0.3 inches
• Shipping Weight: 5.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (14 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #114,552 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars How to live and work with problem drinkers, November 14, 2008

By 

Max Branscomb (San Francisco Peninsula, CA USA) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: If You Loved Me, You'd Stop! What You Really Need to Know When Your Loved One Drinks Too Much (Paperback)

This is a short, easy to read and understand book explaining the effects of drinking on the brain and how the drinkers and the people who love them can successfully interact. Lisa carefully explains misunderstood labels such as "alcoholic" and "dependency" to help everyone know what is going on in their relationships. I learned a lot about problem drinkers as well as people addicted to alcohol and how to live and work with them.

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Wow! Very informative yet so easy to read, February 1, 2009

By 

Still Recovering "Joanne" (Washington DC) - See all my reviews

This review is from: If You Loved Me, You'd Stop! What You Really Need to Know When Your Loved One Drinks Too Much (Paperback)

In this author I met a woman who GETS IT. Most importantly, I learned I AM NOT CRAZY. The symptoms and situations described in this book are real and clearly written from first-hand experience. If I didn't know better, I'd think she'd been sitting at my dining table watching us the past 20 years!

I wish I'd had this book when I first started to realize my loved one was an addict/alcoholic. It's a great primer for anyone who's just begun to cope with a loved one's addiction, but even years into the process, I still learned new things. It packs so much into less than 100 pages about the nature of addiction and abusive drinking in it's many insidious forms.

Do you know what constitutes alcohol abuse? It's less drinks than I had thought. Did you know that 50% of all alcoholism develops at a quite young age, like cigarette smoking? Did you know that pervasive alcohol consumption actually 'hijacks the brain'? I didn't.

I really appreciated her personal struggles and how she framed the story in terms of HER NEED for help. The chapters have titles like 'You're not crazy, Something Really IS Wrong' and progress through a straight forward explanation of brain chemistry and gave me hope in chapters like 'Now What' and 'Reclaiming Your Life'. She tells a sad story, yet one filled with hope for all of us who have struggled with a loved one's addiction. So much hope!

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent help!, December 10, 2008

By 

Mary Dempsey (Eugene) - See all my reviews

This review is from: If You Loved Me, You'd Stop! What You Really Need to Know When Your Loved One Drinks Too Much (Paperback)

The author provides insight to the nature of alcohol addiction not found in other books or indeed, any counseling programs. The extensive references to recent medical research clarify the reality facing both the addict and the family members. Excellent help.