Customer Reviews

If You Loved Me, You'd Stop! What You Really Need to Know When Your Loved One Drinks Too Much

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This is a short, easy to read and understand book explaining the effects of drinking on the brain and how the drinkers and the people who love them can successfully interact. Lisa carefully explains misunderstood labels such as "alcoholic" and "dependency" to help everyone know what is going on in their relationships. I learned a lot about problem drinkers as well as people addicted to alcohol and how to live and work with them.

In this author I met a woman who GETS IT. Most importantly, I learned I AM NOT CRAZY. The symptoms and situations described in this book are real and clearly written from first-hand experience. If I didn't know better, I'd think she'd been sitting at my dining table watching us the past 20 years!

I wish I'd had this book when I first started to realize my loved one was an addict/alcoholic. It's a great primer for anyone who's just begun to cope with a loved one's addiction, but even years into the process, I still learned new things. It packs so much into less than 100 pages about the nature of addiction and abusive drinking in it's many insidious forms.

Do you know what constitutes alcohol abuse? It's less drinks than I had thought. Did you know that 50% of all alcoholism develops at a quite young age, like cigarette smoking? Did you know that pervasive alcohol consumption actually 'hijacks the brain'? I didn't.

I really appreciated her personal struggles and how she framed the story in terms of HER NEED for help. The chapters have titles like 'You're not crazy, Something Really IS Wrong' and progress through a straight forward explanation of brain chemistry and gave me hope in chapters like 'Now What' and 'Reclaiming Your Life'. She tells a sad story, yet one filled with hope for all of us who have struggled with a loved one's addiction. So much hope!

The author provides insight to the nature of alcohol addiction not found in other books or indeed, any counseling programs. The extensive references to recent medical research clarify the reality facing both the addict and the family members. Excellent help.

Frederiksen's book is full of information that will help erase the stigma of alcoholism and clarify what excessive drinking is all about. This kind of information can help the people who love someone who drinks too much understand what they (and their loved one) are dealing with, which will help everyone concerned get the help they need to live a happier life. So many issues are covered in her short book, yet it's easy-to-read, with comprehensive appendices for further information. Like the author says, we have to start talking about this disease and the surrounding issues -- especially what it does to the family members of the person who drinks too much -- and this book is a great place from which to start.

Lisa presents a wealth of information in a non-threatening, non-confrontational manner. She presents a new picture of problem drinking. As a Stephen Leader, I recommend this book to Stephen Ministers to assist their care receivers who are struggling with a loved one's alcoholism.

Only someone who has lived through the experience can have the insight that she does. It seems to be directly aimed at the reader who has not come to terms with problem drinking or drinkers, as well as the professionals who deal with it every day.

I highly recommend this easy-to-read book.

The author's research and experience is enlightening and her own stories will resonate with anyone who has known a problem drinker. I'm thrilled to finally have a book like this to recommend to patients, friends and family!

great book - quick, simple (clear) and to the point. This author obviously has some experience and it has helpful to feel like i had a friend in her. It was also published last year, so i felt the research was current and i could count on best-practices at play. She gave great advice for seeing the bigger picture and way to de-tangle my own identity from the situation and the alcohol. The early chapters went into scientific detail about what happens to the brain itself - this detail was explained in a very straightforward manner, it was new and very enlightening - helping to decouple the affects of alcohol from the individual themselves. The alcohol brain helped me understand why detatching from the situation is so important and POSSIBLE! I also read "Get Your Loved One Sober: Alternatives to Nagging, Pleading, and Threatening." by Robert J. Meyers Ph. D. which was a perfect compliment to this book as it gave alternatives to "detatchment" since obviously i want to stay attached to my loved one. In the few short weeks since i read these books, i have seem a HUGE and significant turn around in my life at home and my loved one's behavior. I take full responsibility for my actions in our goals to stay balanced with alcohol - but i only take responsibility for MY actions now and thats a HUGE relief and great progress! THANKS AUTHORS!

If you have an alcoholic in the family, I can think of no better resource to have on hand than Lisa Frederiksen's If You Loved Me You'd Stop! This book should ship automatically with the first signs of problems or abuse... it's almost like having a user manual for the alcoholic. I am not saying this just as a catchy phrase; the book is brief and to the point, covers the basic features of all models (excessive, abusive and alcoholic drinkers), covers maintenance and trouble shooting tips, and has an expansive resource list for getting further help.

Honestly, I had almost given up on recovery books- these days they all seem to fall in the useless categories of holistic sensationalism, quick fix cons, and self promoting ego trips. Lisa's book however is packed with facts, highly instructional, and not weighed down by useless fluff. You can read it in an afternoon, but just like a car manual, you'll want to keep it in the glove box so you can refer back to often for routine maintenance and in case of severe trouble.

Lisa has written a very informative book about the disease of addiction explaining why addicts cannot just stop. The book covers the latest research in an easy to read format explaining how alcohol and drug use affects the brain. Love and support can be helpful, but they will not stop the addiction. This book is wonderful for anyone, but especially those that are new to addiction. It gives family members a complete understanding of what addiction is, as well as steps to help yourself. It's one of those books that you will refer back to often. I would highly recommend reading Lisa's book.

This is a great title for a book about addiction.
Those who are not addicted feel that one should just be able to stop.
Self control, love, strength...and a desire to quit is all that is needed. Lisa's books give a clear, easy to understand explanation plus the latest scientific information about addiction and how it effects the brain. Why they can't just stop!
Why you would think that love should be all that is necessary. It is so much more than that and she tells you why. "Why"...we all ask that simple three letter word!
Thank you Lisa.