7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
A Meditation on Sex and Desire, July 15, 2002
This review is from: Love's Learning Place: Truth as Aphrodisiac in Women's Long-Term Relationships (Hardcover)
"Truth as aphrodisiac" - what an irresistible, intoxicating image. I wish I had thought of it. Renate Stendhal writes in an intimate, personal-essay style. She is a therapist as well as a writer, by the way. But her book is not one of those how-to books, though I learned a lot, and certainly I think Stendhal wants her readers to reconsider how they make love, what they want from love and sex, and who they are as lovers. She quotes Adrienne Rich about how, between lovers, lies the amazing capacity to "Do justice to our own complexity." This, says Stendhal, "has the unexpected physical reward of setting love free."
Stendhal investigates how love is set free with compassion, determination, originality, and playfulness. She writes about her personal experiences, about the therapeutic process of lesbian couples, whom she counseled, and about the thoughts and ideas that she develops as a result of her counseling work. At times, the book reads like a meditation on sex and desire, which keeps it very interesting. And she comes up with these clever turns of phrase, which I really appreciated. For example: "Sex without penetration is not really sex, as we have learned, thanks to Bill Clinton." And: "Lesbian couples tend to merge and therefore lose their sexual appetite. I doubt that anything could be that simple." Exactly. That is the premise of Stendhal's book, and why it's so appealing.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
Afraid of Bed Death, August 2, 2002
This review is from: Love's Learning Place: Truth as Aphrodisiac in Women's Long-Term Relationships (Hardcover)
At first I felt the author makes it too easy, like "a truth a day keeps bed death away". It's not easy at all, it's scary to tell the truth. I try to avoid it all I can, but I admit I am also afraid of bed death. Everyone I know is. So then I liked the challenge. Challenge can be sexy. I am not gay but I could identify with the women in the book. I broke off relationships because I got so bored sexually, and then I worked so hard on sex that it wasn't fun any more. The book made me understand a lot of stuff. It also made me laugh, because you really see how other couples try to deal with it, and that's funny and scary and sexy. I like short books that give a lot. No boredom there.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Offers a powerful common sense viewpoint, November 13, 2002
This review is from: Love's Learning Place: Truth as Aphrodisiac in Women's Long-Term Relationships (Hardcover)
Love's Learning Place: Truth as Aphrodisiac in Women's Long-Term Relationships by spiritual and psychological women's counselor Renate Stendhal, is a human sexuality self-help guide for lesbian women in long-term relationships. Focusing on openness and truth as the key to keeping sexual desire alive, and enhanced with anecdotes from lesbian couples, Love's Learning Place focuses on the simple yet profound idea that communication matters, and takes the lead in debunking pervasive myths - such as the idea that one should "just know" what feels good in sex, or that sex should come automatically and instinctively. Although written especially for women in lesbian relationships, Love's Learning Place offers a powerful common sense viewpoint applicable to all long-term sexual partnerships.
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