31 of 36 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
This book falls flat, October 7, 2002
By A Customer
This review is from: Lovetypes: Discover Your Romantic Style And Find Your Soul Mate (Paperback)
Dr. Avila proposes a theory for how people will be romantically compatible based on their Myers-Briggs type indicator. He has done a nice job describing the behavioral characteristics of each type. However, I disagree with his hypothesis on appropriate matches. I was surprised that Dr. Avila did not incorporate other research into his book.
For each type, he believes that the exact same type would be appropriate - or the exact opposite type. Other research suggests that people need to share at least 2 preferences to be compatible. Moreover, that the one dichotomy that people often match up on is the S and N. His theories are also in direct contradiction to Kiersey's Temperament - which states that Idealists and Artisans are fundamentally at odds, as are Rationals and Guardians. Avila recommends these matches.
I also found his recommendations for venues to meet partners to be weak. Unless one is in their mid-20s, I can't imagine going to a law library to meet an INTJ.
I don't think that this book was worth the money.
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19 of 21 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
A VERY unique approach. It makes A LOT of sense!, February 17, 2000
This review is from: Lovetypes: Discover Your Romantic Style And Find Your Soul Mate (Paperback)
I heard the author in a workshop that he gave and it really whet my appetite to read the book and try out what he suggests.
I have read countless books on dating, trying to figure out what I have been doing wrong, how/why I keeping picking/attracting the wrong partners, why there has been so much resentment, conflict and bitterness in my past relationships, etc.
After I read the book it all became crystal clear to me. I had been considering personality compatibility, but only in a general way. Neither my partners nor I were "bad" people, we were just the "wrong" people for each other.
Dr. Avila's book enables you to "type" yourself, how to quickly size up others for their "type" and my favorite features, WHERE to meet others of your compatible type and HOW to attract and build relationships with them. These techniques apply to BOTH opposite AND same sex friendships. Very targeted, specific information, very rare in dating books.
I realize now that by following the advice in other dating books, I was hanging out in the wrong places to meet MY best type.
His theories sound rock solid both from a psychological and common sense point of view.
I think that his book settles once and for all the opposites attract, but do they stay together debate.
Lastly, I commend Dr. Avila for going beyond the theory, and putting the principles into practice by actually encouraging/helping set up LoveType social groups. In fact, I am going to his book signing tonight, to be followed by mingling and discussion of starting up a social group in the Los Angeles area. I'm REALLY looking forward to what might come of it!
Feel free to contact me with questions or comments .
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15 of 16 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Best Investment I Ever Made!, May 7, 2000
This review is from: Lovetypes: Discover Your Romantic Style And Find Your Soul Mate (Paperback)
Alexander Avila's LoveTypes is the single best book I've EVER read in my quests for self-understanding and for meeting the right mate. Charmingly written and drop-dead accurate, it's an immensely practical, easy-to-use system that saved me from marrying the wrong man. What a revelation! Suddently I see where I went wrong, over & over, in my 50 years. Using the myriad insights gleaned from LoveTypes, I can now accurately identify my "best bets" for both friends and romantic partners--in advance--instead of getting carried away by wishful-thinking or trying to fit round pegs into square holes. Dr. Avila's compassionate attitudes also reassured me that as a relatively rare personality [Idealistic Philosopher--INFP], it's NOT my imagination: there aren't alot of us out there! I also read Just Your Type, also excellent, but find that LoveTypes is more condensed, with a terrific format. Instead of using the rather confusing Myers-Briggs 4-letters (ESTJ, ISFP, etc,), Avila identifies the 16 personality types with delightful, easier to use descriptions, such as "The General" [ENTJ]. I used some invaluable practical tips on locating compatible people, with amazing results. As a bonus, reading LoveTypes feels like a big hug!
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