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Loving Him without Losing You: How to Stop Disappearing and Start Being Yourself [Paperback]

Beverly Engel
4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (23 customer reviews)

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Book Description

January 5, 2001 0471409790 978-0471409793
Are you a Disappearing Woman?

"Beverly Engel has identified a widespread problem and provided women with wise guidelines for bursting through it. She writes with compassion and insight. If you think you are a Disappearing Woman, you will drink in this book as if it were a health-giving elixir. It is!"-Susan Page, author of How One of You Can Bring the Two of You Together and If I'm So Wonderful, Why Am I Still Single?

"This remarkably helpful book offers new insights into why so many women surrender their individuality in relationships. Don't wait until your hair is on fire to read it."-Maxine Schnall, founder and Executive Director of Wives Self Help

"A book of depth and power. I highly recommend it not only to women who lose themselves in their relationships with men but to the parents of adolescent girls who need to be taught how to view themselves as valuable beings separate from their relationships with men and boys."-Michael Gurian, author of The Good Son and A Fine Young Man

Do you frequently find yourself putting your lover's needs ahead of your own? Do you tend to lose yourself in your romantic relationships? Have you ever neglected your career, your friends, or even your health while in the midst of a love affair?

Now, in this landmark book, Beverly Engel examines the intricate reasons why so many women submerge themselves in their relationships with men-and offers a straightforward, empowering program that you can use to free yourself from the powerful grip of this all-too-common problem and rediscover yourself as a Woman of Substance.

Frequently Bought Together

Loving Him without Losing You: How to Stop Disappearing and Start Being Yourself + The Nice Girl Syndrome: Stop Being Manipulated and Abused -- and Start Standing Up for Yourself + Healing Your Emotional Self: A Powerful Program to Help You Raise Your Self-Esteem, Quiet Your Inner Critic, and Overcome Your Shame
Price for all three: $32.18

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Editorial Reviews

Review

This book clearly explains why so many women find themselves in fantasy marriages and romances with real men. Beverly Engel urges women to think, evaluate, and risk rejection before they repeatedly jump into the same trap. In a gentle voice, she offers commonsense guidelines for telling the truth, learning to trust perceptions, and using solitude. --(Evelyn Streit Cohen, M.S., M.A., marriage and family therapist and coauthor of Couple Fits: How to Live with the Person You Love)

A terrific book, written with authority and sensitivity to men as well as women--(.full of useful, fresh information.--(Bradley Gerstman, Esq., Christopher Pizzo, CPA, and Rich Seldes, M.D., authors of What Men Want and Marry Me!)

"Groundbreaking, provocative, and substantial, this book will light the fire of every woman who seeks true intimacy and strength."--(Salli Rasberry, coauthor of Living Your Life Out Loud)

An abundant supply of useful strategies . Unique for its readers--(Sheila A. Rogovin, Ph.D., psychotherapist and coauthor of Couple Fits: How to Live with the Person You Love)

Again, Beverly Engel has identified a widespread problem and provided womenwith wise guidelines for bursting through it. She writes with compassion and insight. If you think you are a 'disappearing woman, you will drink in this book as if it were a health-giving elixir. It is!--(Susan Page, author of How One of You Can Bring the Two of You Together and If I'm So Wonderful, Why Am I Still Single?)

"Loving Him without Losing You is a powerful and practical guide to relationships that every woman should read!"--(Barbara De Angelis, Ph.D., New York Times bestselling author of Secrets About Life Every Woman Should Know and Are You the One for Me?)

"This is a book of depth and power. I highly recommend it not only to women who lose themselves in their relationships with men but to the parents of adolescent girls who need to be taught how to view themselves as valuable beings separate from their relationships with men and boys."--(Michael Gurian, author of The Good Son and A Fine Young Man)

"When I was in college, we were all Disappearing Women. We didn't even think about it; that's just the way things were. Some of us grew out of it; some didn't. If we all had had this book, our lives might have turned out much differently. Buy this book so you can become your authentic self."--(Randi Kreger, coauthor of Stop Walking on Eggshells)

"In Loving Him Without Losing You Beverly Engel offers powerful wisdom and insight concerning the age-old problem of women losing themselves in their relationships with men. Unlike so many others, Beverly doesn't take the easy way out by blaming men but instead explores the phenomenon from a biological, cultural, and psychological perspective and offers women empowering suggestions about how to take responsibility for changing their situations."--(Patti McDermott, author of How to Talk to Your Husband; How to Talk to Your Wife)

"Loving Him Without Losing You is a wonderful resource and guide to finding oneself and tapping into creativity as a part of one's foundation for a life well lived. I recommend it highly."--(Lucia Capacchione, Ph.D.,author of Visioning: Ten Steps to Designing the Life of Your Dreams andThe Creative Journal) --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From the Back Cover

Are you a Disappearing Woman?

"Beverly Engel has identified a widespread problem and provided women with wise guidelines for bursting through it. She writes with compassion and insight. If you think you are a Disappearing Woman, you will drink in this book as if it were a health-giving elixir. It is!"–Susan Page, author of How One of You Can Bring the Two of You Together and If I’m So Wonderful, Why Am I Still Single?

"This remarkably helpful book offers new insights into why so many women surrender their individuality in relationships. Don’t wait until your hair is on fire to read it."–Maxine Schnall, founder and Executive Director of Wives Self Help

"A book of depth and power. I highly recommend it not only to women who lose themselves in their relationships with men but to the parents of adolescent girls who need to be taught how to view themselves as valuable beings separate from their relationships with men and boys."–Michael Gurian, author of The Good Son and A Fine Young Man

Do you frequently find yourself putting your lover’s needs ahead of your own? Do you tend to lose yourself in your romantic relationships? Have you ever neglected your career, your friends, or even your health while in the midst of a love affair?

Now, in this landmark book, Beverly Engel examines the intricate reasons why so many women submerge themselves in their relationships with men–and offers a straightforward, empowering program that you can use to free yourself from the powerful grip of this all-too-common problem and rediscover yourself as a Woman of Substance.


Product Details

  • Paperback: 304 pages
  • Publisher: Wiley (January 5, 2001)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0471409790
  • ISBN-13: 978-0471409793
  • Product Dimensions: 6.4 x 0.9 x 9.3 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (23 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #240,097 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

4.8 out of 5 stars
(23)
4.8 out of 5 stars
This is just a wonderful book full of wisdom and sensitivity. Patti  |  6 reviewers made a similar statement
They make it seem like it's all about the guy. Brandy  |  1 reviewer made a similar statement
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
27 of 27 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The best book for creating healthy relationships! July 26, 2000
Format:Hardcover
Having had two failed marriages, I have read numerous books on relationships looking for answers. _Loving_Him_without_Losing_You_ has given me not only a much greater insight into why I have had such problems with men, but has also given me hope that the future can be very different.

Engel speaks to almost every woman, for almost no one has managed to escape the usual relationship "wisdom" in our culture of women "adapting" to meet their men's needs (by hiding accomplishments, giving up interests and friends if "he" doesn't like them, etc.). Engels gives us another, healthier way to build relationships, by staying true to our authentic selves. Ironically, this advice which is so contrary to what most of us learned is the *only* way to have a truly satisfying relationship--more satisfying for the man as well as the woman--as Engel convincingly argues.

Numerous exercises throughout the book help the reader discover her patterns, uncover issues from the past and work through them, and discover her authentic self. Engel also gives valuable information on creating a women's circle or support group, and finding a therapist if necessary.

A compassionate, intelligent, inspiring book. Read it! Buy it! Live it!

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16 of 16 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Loving Him without Losing You March 3, 2001
Format:Paperback
I am sure that Beverly's book will prove helpful to any woman -or man- who reads it. After fourteen years with my husband,ten of which have been married, we were in a funk. After reading "Loving Him without Losing You," I learned how to ask for more; care for others more meaningfully; comfort myself more lovingly and stand against things that were not necessarily helpful. Our relationship has become much more nourishing. I highly recommend this book to every woman who wants to become more whole in her life. Thank you, Beverly!
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16 of 16 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Changing My Life April 18, 2000
By cindy
Format:Hardcover
Beverly's book has been the catalyst for me to begin loving myself. I have had the opportunity to put into practice the suggestions that she makes in her book and I can happily say that they work! I find that it really is o.k. to love me first; to take care of myself; and the rest of my life is falling into place the way that I have wanted it to for so many years. I hope that everyone who has had a problem in relationships will read this book because it can only enhance the positive. Thank you to Beverly for all of her years of study and her gift of being able to communicate that knowledge to others through her books. Enjoy.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Courage
reading this book helped me to stop being a disappearing woman. I finally was able to leave an unequal co-dependent relationship after so many years.
Published 5 months ago by Colorado Cat
5.0 out of 5 stars Great Book!
I absolutely loved this book! I wish they thought of a different title though. They make it seem like it's all about the guy. Read more
Published 6 months ago by Brandy
4.0 out of 5 stars Looking for a self help book to help you find yourself?
This book was very helpful. It had several exercises to help the reader figure out why she loses herself in a relationship. Read more
Published 12 months ago by Jessica Hageman
5.0 out of 5 stars Self Therapy
I enjoyed this book thoroughly. Read it a couple times. I use it to give myself therapy. Reading it was painful, understanding yet convincing. Read more
Published 15 months ago by R'tonia
5.0 out of 5 stars The title might be cheesy, but this book is SOLID.
I've never written a book review before (and I read a lot!), but I just had to write one about this one. Read more
Published 20 months ago by GranolaTwin1
5.0 out of 5 stars In Great Shape!
Product showed up faster than expected and in great condition! Would definately recommend and I'm sure I'll buy from again :)
Published on April 19, 2011 by Koodazzz
5.0 out of 5 stars It's for Everyone
I only wish I could go back and give this to my grandmother and her mother and her mother. This book is for everyone: single, married, divorced... Read more
Published on November 12, 2009 by Sarah Ott
5.0 out of 5 stars Very timely and important!!!
I was lucky enough to run into this book at a local bookstore. It turned out to be exactly what I needed. Read more
Published on October 30, 2009 by A. Wageeh
5.0 out of 5 stars so glad I found this book!
I am in the middle of reading this book and had to pause and share how much it is already helping me. With this book I'm definitely having an "A-HA" moment. Read more
Published on October 5, 2009 by traveler
1.0 out of 5 stars Deceptive Reviews
I bought this book thinking it would be helpful in my marriage. My husband is a wonderful man, but very strong in his opinions. Read more
Published on September 14, 2008 by A. Bliss
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